Marriage - part 2

I entered into my marriage with a lot of baggage, though at the time I did not realize how much baggage I had. My parents got a divorce when I was 11 years old. I can still remember sitting in the back seat of our white Chevy Nova when my mother told me and my older sister that she and my dad were getting a divorce. I sat there a little dazed and asked, "What is a divorce?" I was so sheltered up until that point. We lived in Pecos, Texas at that time. We moved to Oklahoma City, OK since my Mom's parents lived there. Up until the time that my parents got a divorce, I truly thought I had a perfect family. We did lots of things together and seemed to be happy. Of course, I only choose to remember the good things. Now as I think back I remember my parents getting into fights and my Dad jumping into the car and leaving for a few hours. It was probably the best thing for them - so no one killed each other.

I guess I did not realize how much I treated my husband with disrespect until my husband was stationed in Germany while he was in the Army. We would go to the store and I would hear women really talking down to their husbands, arguing through the store and just being rude. God opened my eyes and made me realize - that is you. That was a hard pill to swallow. I wish I could tell you that once I figured that out that I stopped and that I was more respectful, but to be honest I would have to say that I only cut down on acting that way. I knew how bad it looked out in public so I tried really hard not to act disrespectful while we were out in public. It took me a really long time to realize how very important Respect is to a man. About 5 years ago or so I was at my friend Deborah's house and she had several other friends there. One of her friend's named Barbara told us about a book that she was reading- "Love and Respect:The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Shortly after that I got the set of Cd's of this book and listened to them. It was eye opening. If you have not read this book - it is well worth your time. In fact, I am looking for a copy of the book. There is a lot of good information in there and I would like to have a book to underline the important points. A very important part of the book that I would like to share is that when we treat our spouse badly it starts a "Crazy Cycle" I think that is what he calls it. And once you treat your husband without respect many times he will in turn treat you without love because of your lack of respect. A lot of times men do not really understand their need for respect and don't always realize that they are lashing out by being unloving. So as long as you each continue to treat the other one in a poorly fashion you can expect to continue on the "crazy cycle." But if you want things to change you have to decide to step off of the "crazy cycle." And as you begin to respect your husband more - there is a really big chance that he will become more loving.

Anyway now I know that my husband needs respect. And I try really hard to be respectful. Sometimes this is hard and I pray that God will continue to work with me on this. I am thankful for this promise that God gives us in the Bible: "..being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" Philippians 1:6

* Picture borrowed from Amazon.com (not sure if I have to put where the photo came from but just in case I do - I did)