Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love. I Corinthians 16:13, 14 NKJV

Monday, June 30, 2014

Here is me today.
Can you tell my hair is slowly growing.
Well I was wanting to get my yard mowed in order to get ready for our visit with our granddaughter for the month of July - but our riding lawn mower has a tire that has been losing air. Well I have had to air it up each time before I want to mow. And I thought today would be the same as other days- it may take longer but I eventually get the tire aired up and can get the job done. But not today- apparently the tire has a big crack in it and will not hold air. So it is a no go with getting my yard mowed today.
So I took advantage of my "new" reel push mower- and I got it out of the garage and I worked on an area in the hard that is hard to mow with the riding lawn mower. It did a really good job. It will need to have the blades lowered a bit and the blades will need to get sharpened but over all I am very pleased with it. It helped me to be able to get at least a good section of the back yard done - so that I am one step closer to being ready for the grandbabies visit.
Anyway I just wanted to post a photo since I had not posted one last week. And wanted to let you know that my $20.00 reel push mower was one of the best bargains I have gotten!!
Now I am fixing to head to Aldi's to get some groceries - wish me luck - first time with no hat.
Have a wonderful day! :O)

And Then the Next Step

Sometimes our journey seems to go slowly, but other times it seems to pick up pace. And that is what has happened to me. For the last few weeks I knew that it was coming to the time that I would have to just lay the hat down and go out into my life just the way I was. I was tired of wearing the hat or wig- ever so often. They are both hot and the wig is itchy. This week ends camping trip took me to a place that no one knew me - and it gave me more confidence to take off the hat and ease myself into the newest part of my adventure.

Not only was yesterday the first day that I went without a hat - all day long. But it was also the day that I decided no more hiding. I posted this photo of me on facebook:

 Although my hair is a bit longer - I decided that the next step would be to share the photo. That way people seeing me with my new do would be more on my terms. And there is a freedom that I feel - that I did not feel before.

I did not choose this "adventure" but I can choose to be more comfortable on this "adventure" by moving forward in the healing process. I feel happier today and more grateful. I feel like I have overcome another fear and it feels good.

I shared the photo on a private group on Facebook for Women who are fighting Uterine Cancer
and one of the ladies had this to day about when she decided no more hats and no more scarves:

"It was the best most freeing experience I had.
  It was a moment I won't forget.
  It was like I thumbed my nose at cancer
and said "I'm done with you". "

Couldn't have said it better. Sometimes you just have to take the next step and you will be happy when you do. Not saying it will be easy - but saying it will be worth it.

Now I need to get off of here and get my yard mowed and ready for our granddaughters visit! :O)

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Taking the Next Step

This week end my husband and I went camping. As we were on our way - I decided I was tired of wearing my hat - so I took it off. And only put it on when we went in to places and such. But most of the time driving I had it off. I felt a little protected by being in the vehicle - so not really "seen." Over the week end I wore it when I around people, until Sabbath evening. I had been out at the dock with my husband while he was fishing. Then I decided to go back to the RV. It was starting to get dark. I had already walked to the RV and back to get something that he had left at the RV. Anyway while I was walking back to the RV - I decided to walk the long way, because I wanted more exercise. I was getting hot and sweaty and finally decided to take off the hat. So I did - and walked the rest of the way back to the trailer. It felt good to have air getting to my head. I continued to sweat but at least I was letting air to get to my head.

By the time I got back to the RV- I decided that I was tired of wearing the hat. It will more than likely be several more months before my hair is at a length that would appear to be a regular hair style that a woman would chose to get and I am not willing to go all summer long wearing a hat. Hats are hot.

This morning when I got up - I decided I am going to do my best to go without a hat. I lucked out because the people that were camping directly across from us - were gone by the time we got ready to hook up to leave. When we got to the dump station - I got out - without my hat and took the trash to the trash can and then proceeded to help my husband with the rest of the stuff.

After we got home- I wanted to weed eat around where we normally park the RV so I had him wait a bit while I weed eated the area. Then I went to the front yard and weed eated around a few things- to make it look pretty when I actually mow our yard tomorrow- all the while- not wearing hat.

Later in the evening, we had a few errands to run in a town nearby- and I did not wear that hat at all. In fact, that time I did not even take the hat with me.

Now I know that each time I go to a place that I normally visit - it will be a bit challenging - Especially that first time for each place. And I am guessing that it will be a bit more challenging to go places by myself. But I am going to pray for courage in order to do so. Because I am tired of wearing a hat. I am tired of being hotter because of the hat. I am tired of the time that it is taking in order for my hair to grow. I had hoped to have more hair by now. But since I don't - then I just need to suck it up and just get on with life.

Anyway since I have been sharing this "adventure" with you all - I thought I would share this next step.

I am pretty tired - we stayed up way too late this week end and I need to get myself off to bed and try to catch up. In just a couple of days I will be taking care of my granddaughter all day long. So I need to be rested up at least a decent amount before that starts.

I hope you all are doing well. I am doing well. :o)

Friday, June 27, 2014

The Lord hath sent strength for thee

Posting this especially for two friends who have sons who is needing lots of prayers right now for health issues. 

The Lord hath sent strength for thee (Ps.68.28, PBV).

The Lord imparts unto us that primary strength of character which makes everything in life work with intensity and decision. We are "strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man." And the strength is continuous; reserves of power come to us which we cannot exhaust.
"As thy days, so shall thy strength be"—strength of will, strength of affection, strength of judgment, strength of ideals and achievement.

"The Lord is my strength" to go on. He gives us power to tread the dead level, to walk the long lane that seems never to have a turning, to go through those long reaches of life which afford no pleasant surprise, and which depress the spirits in the sameness of a terrible drudgery.

"The Lord is my strength" to go up. He is to me the power by which I can climb the Hill Difficulty and not be afraid.

"The Lord is my strength" to go down. It is when we leave the bracing heights, where the wind and the sun have been about us, and when we begin to come down the hill into closer and more sultry spheres, that the heart is apt to grow faint. I heard a man say the other day concerning his growing physical frailty, "It is the coming down that tires me!"

"The Lord is my strength" to sit still. And how difficult is the attainment! Do we not often say to one another, in seasons when we are compelled to be quiet, "If only I could do something!"

When the child is ill, and the mother stands by in comparative impotence, how severe is the test! But to do nothing, just to sit still and wait, requires tremendous strength.

"The Lord is my strength!" "Our sufficiency is of God" (2 Cor. 3:5. from The Silver Lining

Thursday, June 26, 2014

It's about Hair....

Hello- I think I am doing better today. And it just might be because of a dream I had last night.
I dreamed that I had beautiful, bouncy almost shoulder length hair. I had just got done styling it- I was brushing through the back of it a few times. And then I lightly sprayed some hair spray on my hair. What an awesome dream- for a girl who has had no hair to speak of for the past 5-6 months!
It gave me hope. Even though it seems like it is taking for ever - I will one day have pretty hair again. And will not have to wear a hat. And that will be great. It has been running in the upper 80's to the 90's for the past couple of weeks and I am trying to work up the courage to go without my hat out in public- I just have not gotten there yet.
I shared my dream with the ladies at my Fighting Uterine Cancer Facebook page. And one of the ladies shared this photo:

I thought it was hilarious and just made my day even brighter! So glad for a group of ladies who know what I am going through - because many of them have gone through it or are going through it.
One more thing that I wanted to share with you all is some shampoo.
A lady in my group says she uses this and it has helped her hair to grow.
Well I went by Walmart today - and lo and behold- they had bottles that had 50% free - so I got double the shampoo for my money! Yay! I love a good deal.
I am glad it is a big bottle - almost 30 ounces cause I am gonna need a lot of shampoo to help this hair grow.... lol.
Oh one more cute funny that I wanted to share with you all.
Man #1- I gonna call you cilantro
Man #2 - Why ?
Man #1 - because you ruin everything... 

 This was a commercial that I heard on TV today and I thought it was funny.  :O)
Anyway I just thought that was funny and wanted to share it here with you all.
Hope you are all doing good. :o 

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Dare to trust Him...

This is my devotional for today. I really liked the paragraph that is underlined. And the poem at the end is great too.
From "Streams in the Desert"

"Speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward"
Exodus 14:15
Imagine, O child of God, if you can, that triumphal march! The excited children restrained from ejaculations of wonder by the perpetual hush of their parents; the most uncontrollable excitement of the women as they found themselves suddenly saved from a fate worse than death; while the men followed or accompanied them ashamed or confounded that they had ever mistrusted God or murmured against Moses; and as you see those mighty walls of water piled by the outstretched hand of the Eternal, in response to the faith of a single man, learn what God will do for His own.
Dread not any result of implicit obedience to His command; fear not the angry waters which, in their proud insolence, forbid your progress. Above the voices of many waters, the mighty breakers of the sea, "the Lord sitteth King for ever."

A storm is only as the outskirts of His robe, the symptom of His advent, the environment of His presence.

Dare to trust Him; dare to follow Him! And discover that the very forces which barred your progress and threatened your life, at His bidding become the materials of which an avenue is made to liberty.
--F. B. Meyer

Have you come to the Red Sea place in your life,
Where, in spite of all you can do,
There is no way out, there is no way back,
There is no other way but through?
Then wait on the Lord with a trust serene
Till the night of your fear is gone;
He will send the wind,
He will heap the floods,
When He says to your soul, "Go on."
And His hand will lead you through—clear through--
Ere the watery walls roll down,
No foe can reach you, no wave can touch,
No mightiest sea can drown;
The tossing billows may rear their crests,
Their foam at your feet may break,
But over their bed you shall walk dry shod
In the path that your Lord will make.
In the morning watch, 'beneath the lifted cloud,
You shall see but the Lord alone,
When He leads you on from the place of the sea
To a land that you have not known;
And your fears shall pass as your foes have passed,
You shall be no more afraid;
You shall sing His praise in a better place,
A place that His hand has made.
--Annie Johnson Flint

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

This and That Tuesday

Well blogger is still limiting how many postings I see- to one. ugh.... I hope they get it fixed soon. It just makes it so much easier for me to keep up with all of you.

Well yesterday morning- we woke up to a big line of rain and storms moving through the area. Thankful that the worst of it did not hit till a while after my husband left for work. I was so thankful for the rain- we badly need it, but not so happy with a bit of damage that it left in it's path.

Once the rain had cleared out of here- I noticed first of all that the lid to our chicken feed had gotten blown off. This is the first time it has ever done that. We had enough feed in that bucket for about 2 more weeks. So I was frustrated at the waste of money. Then I noticed that our corn patch had gotten some damage from the high winds. Most of the patch was leaning over by the time the storm was done. Oh and to tell you how very strong the winds were - this patch is right up against a wooden fence- and the wind was so strong that it still affected the corn like that.

For some reason yesterday was an emotional day for me. I tried to get a photo of  myself to share- but did not get any that looked decent- and that may have contributed to my mood as well. Probably need to be praying that God will help me like what I see in the mirror. It really does help. It helped me accept my bald head, the first time I saw it, easier than I thought I would. It's just that although, I am very thankful for the growth I have had- I was so hoping to be further along on this path back to having normal hair- the kind of hair I can wear out in public without thinking that everyone is looking at me. But it's just not going as fast as I would like it to go.

Yesterday I did get some of the projects in my sewing room done. I had a couple of pairs of pants that I wanted to make into shorts or capris for SweetPea. My son will have her for the month of July so I am trying to make sure we have enough clothes here for her. And I had found some pants that I really thought were cute but wanted to have them for this summer so I cut them off and hemmed them. And I had a couple of others that I wanted to make shorts out of. I sure hope that I did not get them too short. Did not have her here to try them on her once I was done. So I will have to wait and see.

Well it is hot and humid here today - it has been for a while. I went on a walk with my Mom and got very sweaty. Was so glad that I had a wash cloth in my purse to dry my head once I was done. My head gets very hot and sweaty under a hat.

For some reason I have been feeling a little more tired than usual this week. I am going to have to try to get to bed earlier and hope that - that will help me feel more rested. I do not like feeling this tired and drained. Have started taking vitamins hoping that will help too.

I hope you all have a good day. I have some errands to run - hoping to find some great stuff - to do with my granddaughter this summer. :O)

Monday, June 23, 2014

Anyone else having this problem?

Every time that I go to my Blogger page- it only shows me the most recent blog post - it normally has a whole list blog posts from everyone that I follow. It gives me the option of pushing the more button but I don't get more blog posts. Are any of you having this problem? Or is it just me?

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Treasure Found

Last Tuesday I went to my favorite little thrift store. As I was shopping I saw a reel push mower I had been kind of interested in it but was a little worried about being able to use it. Anyway a little later another lady was looking at it and the older woman that runs the store- took it outside to show her how it worked. And I went out to watch as well. She was able to push it and that is when I knew that I should be able to use it as well. Only problem was - now this other lady was interested in it. Well I told the lady that runs the store- that I was very interested in it - and if the other lady decided that she did not want it - to let me know.

Well I could have kicked myself for not moving forward to checking it out when I had first seen the mower. And I learned a valuable lesson. If I see something I am interested in - be sure and check it out.

On my way home - I prayed and ask God - that if it were His will to work it out that I could get the mower. I knew it was a long shot, but left it in God's hands. Then I spent some time weed eating and then it was time to go. My son was going to take me to Cracker Barrel for hemming some stuff for his girl friend. I never did hear back from Becky(lady at the store) so I figured that I had just totally lost out.

Fast forward to this morning- I got a phone call from Becky. She was letting me know that the lady had went home and got her husband and he had decided that no they did not need the mower - so it was available. Yay!!! A wonderful answer to prayer! So we went by to get it today!
I am so very happy that we were able to get it. And we got a really good deal.  Only problem is that it is raining today, so no trying it out here today. We have gotten about an inch so far. We are so enjoying the rain! :O)

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Love With All Your Heart....series..Love is Kind

Love With All Your Heart

A Treatise on True Love 1 Corinthians 13 

Linda Driver


Love is kind

Maggie had a sharp tongue, and she was proud of it? She had a real knack for pointing out flaws in others. She told herself she was just being honest with people. just telling it as it was. The trouble was, her words were like poisoned arrows sent out to hurt and destroy.
Maggie's parents had been extremely critical, and this was the only way she knew how to relate to others. It seemed that every conversation revolved around picking someone apart. Although people tried to avoid her, she didn't avoid them, but stuck her nose in everybody's business. She didn't even stop to think what people thought of her; she felt that her criticism was necessary. How else would people know what was wrong with them? Ironically, her critical and sarcastic tongue gave her a sense of importance and belonging although it alienated everyone with whom she had contact.
Then one day Maggie came face to face with the claims of God's love as found in the Bible:
" kind." 1 Corinthians 13:4
"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness,
 humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering."
 Colossians 3:12
"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
just as God in Christ forgave you."   
Ephesians 4:32
    "Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love,
 in honor giving preference to one another;"   
Romans 12:10
Love seeks to bless and uplift others with encouraging words.
Love is tenderhearted and merciful, showing compassion on all, especially the weak and undeserving.
Love is soft spoken and gentle.
Love actively seeks to comfort and serve others, whoever and wherever there is a need, and always watches for opportunities to minister to others.
Love does not allow favoritism or prejudice, but respect all person equally and considers each one of infinite value.
Love returns good for evil, kindness for cruelty , and love for hate.
Love has no malice or ill will.
Love is a flowing out of one's self for the happiness and blessing of others.
Love cares about other peoples feelings and is sensitive and sympathetic to their needs.
Love never speaks unkindly under any circumstances.
Love never offends any by and unkind act or even by a look.
Love is not critical or harsh.
Love is not annoying or bothersome.
Love does not antagonize or tease others in a way that hurts them.

Friday, June 20, 2014

My Gilgal

I am so excited about what I am going to share with you today! So in continuing to read my Beth Moore book Believing God chapter 13 now, I have learned an exciting thing about the stones talked about in the previous post.

We are continuing on from our reading yesterday:

    Now the people came up from the Jordan on the tenth day of the first month, and they camped in Gilgal on the east border of Jericho. 20 And those twelve stones which they took out of the Jordan, Joshua set up in Gilgal.   
Joshua 4:19-20

As we see from the above text that they set the stones up at Gilgal. Now here is where it gets kind of exciting - at least to me.

"In essence the word Gilgal means "circle or wheel." The assumption is that the standing stones were arranged in a circle." quote from chapter 13

Which gives my windmill even more significance as my memorial - of God's faithfulness in my life but especially during my cancer 'adventure."

This chapter, like the whole book, is chalked full of a wonderful message - and has met me exactly where I am. I love it when I can see that God has brought a certain book that deals with exactly where I am in my walk with Him. It has happened several times before.

So as you can see - my windmill - which is in a circle or a wheel is very appropriately my memorial.

I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. 12 I will also meditate on all Your work, And talk of Your deeds.   
Psalm 77:11-12

Thursday, June 19, 2014

In Rememberance

I know this is a long passage from the Bible - but please humor me and read it. There is a point to why I am sharing it.
1 And it came to pass, when all the people had completely crossed over the Jordan, that the Lord spoke to Joshua, saying: 2 "Take for yourselves twelve men from the people, one man from every tribe, 3 and command them, saying, 'Take for yourselves twelve stones from here, out of the midst of the Jordan, from the place where the priests' feet stood firm. You shall carry them over with you and leave them in the lodging place where you lodge tonight.' " 4 Then Joshua called the twelve men whom he had appointed from the children of Israel, one man from every tribe; 5 and Joshua said to them: "Cross over before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and each one of you take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, 6 that this may be a sign among you when your children ask in time to come, saying, 'What do these stones mean to you?' 7 Then you shall answer them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it crossed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. And these stones shall be for a memorial to the children of Israel forever." 8 And the children of Israel did so, just as Joshua commanded, and took up twelve stones from the midst of the Jordan, as the Lord had spoken to Joshua, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, and carried them over with them to the place where they lodged, and laid them down there. 9 Then Joshua set up twelve stones in the midst of the Jordan, in the place where the feet of the priests who bore the ark of the covenant stood; and they are there to this day. 10 So the priests who bore the ark stood in the midst of the Jordan until everything was finished that the Lord had commanded Joshua to speak to the people, according to all that Moses had commanded Joshua; and the people hurried and crossed over. 11 Then it came to pass, when all the people had completely crossed over, that the ark of the Lord and the priests crossed over in the presence of the people. 12 And the men of Reuben, the men of Gad, and half the tribe of Manasseh crossed over armed before the children of Israel, as Moses had spoken to them. 13 About forty thousand prepared for war crossed over before the Lord for battle, to the plains of Jericho. 14 On that day the Lord exalted Joshua in the sight of all Israel; and they feared him, as they had feared Moses, all the days of his life. 15 Then the Lord spoke to Joshua, saying, 16 "Command the priests who bear the ark of the Testimony to come up from the Jordan." 17 Joshua therefore commanded the priests, saying, "Come up from the Jordan." 18 And it came to pass, when the priests who bore the ark of the covenant of the Lord had come from the midst of the Jordan, and the soles of the priests' feet touched the dry land, that the waters of the Jordan returned to their place and overflowed all its banks as before.   
Joshua 4:1-18
Just like the Israelites, I too set up a remembrance of how God has delivered me.
I love windmill's and had always wanted one. When Mother's Day came my husband had seen this and had decided to order it for me. I was so excited because I knew what I wanted to do with it- I wanted it to be a reminder to me of what God had done for me. That he had been with me every step of the way. Many tears were shed, but with Him by my side I made it through. Now I would have a reminder of His care.

I thought it was very appropriate - how the day that I decided to take a photo for this post - the sun just happened to shine in the photo so much like the presence of God.

And I hope that as you take some time to look at this photo that you too- will be reminded of God's presence in your life and where He has led you. It is a good idea for us to remember these things.

I am still reading my Beth Moore book - Believing God - and I just finished the chapter that talks about asking the Holy Spirit to help you remember the specific ways in which God led in your life. And on a timeline - I began filling in difference things that quickly came to my mind. I am not done with this project yet - but I intend to continue to fill in the time line - and probably even write out a few of the stories in my AHA book. So I can be reminded of God's guidance in my life.

By remembering how God has led in the past - we are better able to trust Him with our future's. And this helps us develop our faith in Him.

Whether you have walked with God a long time or a short time - I am guessing that you too can think of ways that He has guided and directed your path. Beth Moore was quick to point out - that not everything on our timeline will be happy memories - even in the painful circumstances we can see how God was guiding us. I know this to be true for me. My testimony of just the last 7 months- has a number of times where God was leading and directing my path - when I had no idea how important some of those decisions were. Now I see that His hand was there- and that is why I am not only going to be writing this experience in my book - but why I have this remembrance windmill in my back yard to remind me.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Coincidence or Not- I don't think so

This week something kind of neat happened - in fact, it was yesterday. I had been praying for a friend who has been going through some really rough stuff. And not just now but it seems that all of her life she has gone through several different hard trials. So as I am praying - I ask the usual question- of why? And I got a response. It was just clear as can be - If she is not broken - how will she ever know what strength she can have in Me. Just as suddenly a light bulb came on in my mind- and I realized that I, too, was learning this same lesson. I have truly learned over the past couple of years -and especially over the last 7 months- that God is faithful to give me the strength needed for what ever trials come my way if I will just surrender my life and my will to Him and allow Him to work in me. There is a peace that I have not always had. I have noticed situations that have come up which at one time would have caused me much grief, now I am able to work through them much easier - because I am allowing God to guide and direct. I am still a work in progress - it is so nice to see God's hand at work in my life. It was just neat that one day I have one of my heart's cry-of "why?"  answered - and then the very next day - this photo - above - begins to float around Facebook - reminding me not only of the importance of praying for others but also of the way that God had healed just a little bit of me- by helping me understand why, sometimes trials come our way.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

This Journey

Ok - So I finally was able to get some decent photos today. And when I was putting it in my folder - and it was up next to my photos from last week- I could certainly notice the difference. Although it is not growing as fast as I would like it to grow- it is growing! I am so grateful!!

Notice my pink top- well I know you can see the sleeves(sorry) but they had elastic around them but it just did not flatter at all. So I seam rippered those seams out - took the elastic out and then resewed the seams. And it looks SO much better now. I am so happy to be becoming more creative. I like being able work with some things in order to make them work better for me. It feels good to be
This week I am slowly getting some weed eating done around my yard. There is A lot of it to get done. There is one area on the side of our yard that I really need to cut down a branch off of a tree so that I can at least run the mower around there a time or two and that would take out some of the weed eating that I have to do. Believe me - I end up with a lot. And to be honest - I don't even weed eat everything that I could - if I wanted a perfect yard. I just can't keep up with it all. I am slowly getting more and more energy built back up and I am so happy about that. But I just take it one day at a time. I do what I can each day and mark the things off the list that I can- and if I don't get something done- I put it on my next days list of things I want to do. I am getting things done and moving right along.
I am still working on getting projects and such together to do with SweetPea this July. That reminds me-I have a cool story to share. For the past year I have wanted a 6 muffin muffin tin. I had looked through my stuff and had not found one. Well this morning I was pulling a pan out of my cabinet - and guess what fell out? YES!! a 6 muffin - muffin tin! Just what I wanted. I had not wanted to spend a lot of money of it because I just wanted it for a couple of projects to do with SweetPea. So I was SO very happy that I found that we already had one!

Well I better get off of here and get some more things done around here. Have a great rest of the day! :O)

Monday, June 16, 2014

I love Monkey's

Well I tried to get a photo for the weekly watch of how my hair is growing and was not able to get a good one today Although it seems a little bit longer- it seems that when the light hits my head in the bathroom -that it kind of looks like my hair is thin on the top. So it makes it hard to tell what it really is. I will try again tomorrow to get a good photo. It feels a bit thicker. And my eye lashes are coming in nicely- although they are still 1/4th or so of the regular length of them. At least it is worth putting mascara on them now!
I just saw this on Facebook this morning and just had to share it here. It is very good advice. And I have always loved monkeys so that made me like this even more.
I went on a good walk this morning- before it got too warm. Then I got some weed eating done in my front and some in my back yard. I am so happy one of my crape myrtle's has begun to bloom and the one behind it is not too far behind. The big one beyond that is not yet blooming but maybe in the next week or so will.
Photo: Yay!! One of my crape myrtles is blooming! :0)
My Mother in law has some burgundy crape myrtle shoots that are coming up around her plants and she does not want them. Said we could dig them up and have them. So we are trying to decide where we want to plant them. I am thinking of putting at least one in our back yard for more color and beauty there.

Well I have some hemming to do- so I better get off of here and get busy. I hope you all are having a good day. :O)

Sunday, June 15, 2014

fruitful in the land of my affliction

Today I want to share my devotional for today. Some of you(maybe all of you) are going through some very tough times and I just pray that you will feel God's presence in your lives.

My Devotional from - "Steams in the Desert"
"For God hath made me fruitful in the land of my affliction" Genesis 41:52b

The summer showers are falling. The poet stands by the window watching them. They are beating and buffeting the earth with their fierce downpour. But the poet sees in his imaginings more than the showers which are falling before his eyes. He sees myriads of lovely flowers which shall be soon breaking forth from the watered earth, filling it with matchless beauty and fragrance. And so he sings:

"It isn't raining rain for me, it's raining daffodils;
In every dimpling drop I see wild flowers upon the hills.
A cloud of gray engulfs the day, and overwhelms the town;
It isn't raining rain for me: it's raining roses down."
Perchance some one of God's chastened children is even now saying, "O God, it is raining hard for me tonight.
"Testings are raining upon me which seem beyond my power to endure. Disappointments are raining fast, to the utter defeat of all my chosen plans. Bereavements are raining into my life which are making my shrinking heart quiver in its intensity of suffering. The rain of affliction is surely beating down upon my soul these days."
Withal, friend, you are mistaken. It isn't raining rain for you. It's raining blessing. For, if you will but believe your Father's Word, under that beating rain are springing up spiritual flowers of such fragrance and beauty as never before grew in that stormless, unchastened life of yours.
You indeed see the rain. But do you see also the flowers? You are pained by the testings. But God sees the sweet flower of faith which is upspringing in your life under those very trials.
You shrink from the suffering. But God sees the tender compassion for other sufferers which is finding birth in your soul.
Your heart winces under the sore bereavement. But God sees the deepening and enriching which that sorrow has brought to you.
It isn't raining afflictions for you. It is raining tenderness, love, compassion, patience, and a thousand other flowers and fruits of the blessed Spirit, which are bringing into your life such a spiritual enrichment as all the fullness of worldly prosperity and ease was never able to beget in your innermost soul. --J. M. McC.


"A harp stood in the moveless air,
Where showers of sunshine washed a thousand fragrant blooms;
A traveler bowed with loads of care
Essayed from morning till the dusk of evening glooms
To thrum sweet sounds from the songless strings;
The pilgrim strives in vain with each unanswering chord,
Until the tempest's thunder sings,
And, moving on the storm, the fingers of the Lord
A wondrous melody awakes;
And though the battling winds their soldier deeds perform,
Their trumpet-sound brave music makes
While God's assuring voice sings love across the storm"

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Love With All Your Heart...series...chapter 1

Our "Love With All Your Heart" series - chapter 1:


Love is patient and long suffering.

Ted was at his wits' end. He had had many difficulties in his life, and he was tired of them. He felt that his marriage was intolerable. His wife didn't meet his needs, and besides, she nagged and criticized him continually. Ted was full of bitterness towards God. He had built up deep feelings of resentment toward his wife. Recently, she had become ill, and he was expected to care for her. It seemed more than he could bear. His treatment of his wife fluctuated between ignoring her with an icy indifference and erupting in a vicious attack of stinging words. Ted was desperate; he just wanted out. He considered divorce, murder, suicide, and many other variations of escape. He deserved better than this, he thought. He just had to find a way our of this miserable existence. Then one day Ted came face to face with the claims of God's love as found in the Bible:
"Love suffers long...." 1 Corinthians 13:4
"...strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power,
for all patience and longsuffering with joy."
Colossians 1:11
    Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.
2 Thessalonians 3:5
    The end of a thing is better than its beginning;
The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
Ecclesiastes 7:8
    But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life,
 purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance,   
2 Timothy 3:10
However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life.   
1 Timothy 1:16
But in all things we commend ourselves as ministers of God:
in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses,
2 Corinthians 6:4
Love is patient and calm under abuse.
Love patiently accepts adverse circumstance and unkind treatment.
When a trial or tragedy occurs that disturbs plans, when other's actions cause disappointment, love will keep one's spirit in a restful, unruffled state, enabling one to rise above the difficulty.
Love gives peace that is not affected by any circumstances.
Love accepts any inconvenience calmly and deals with it in a joyful frame of mind.
No matter how difficult the problem, how trying the circumstances, or how lengthy the trial, love is long suffering with an attitude of expectant rejoicing.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Important Information about Endometrial Cancer....

Just a quick post to share some very important information. For anyone new to my blog- I would like to share just a little bit of my story - just in case it may help one of you.

7 months ago - I had a hysterectomy. I had an enlarged uterus and the Dr thought that I had - adenomyosis. So on November the 18th- I had a total hysterectomy. When my uterus was sent to the lab- they found cancer- Endometrial cancer or uterine cancer. This is very unusual for someone pre menopausal- and it is the reason why my cancer was not found early enough not to have to have chemo. The cancer was found to have grown to about 80% into the uterine wall. If they find the cancer before it gets past the 50% point of the uterine wall- they are more sure that the cancer has been contained in the uterus. And on top of it being so large - I also found out that my cancer cells were a grade 3 - the highest and most aggressive cancer cells. For this reason - I was sent to on oncologist and am underwent 6 rounds of Carbo/Taxol chemo.

What I would like to share with you ladies is- if you are menopausal and you begin to bleed- have it checked out ASAP- that is when people find this cancer in time - so that they are able to just do a hysterectomy and not end up having to have all the chemo and radiation. If you are pre- menopausal and you are having heavy periods and break through bleeding- or spotting more and more- be sure and get with your Dr and explain to her what is going on with you. Endometrial cancer does not show up on pap smear tests. So you have to let your Dr know what is going on with you- if you have heavy period- or are bleeding more and more- have it checked out. I am only 44 years old - and was diagnosed at 43 with this cancer that usually hits women that are post menopausal. And when it hits younger women it tends to be more serious because we just think that the symptoms are just premenopausal and so we let it slid.

I really hope that by me sharing my story - that I can help other women avoid having to go through what I am have gone through, it is no fun. And it is also scary - to realize that you have had cancer growing inside of you for who knows how long and had no idea. It changes your life. I am so thankful that God led me to pushing have more testing done and that we found this cancer. Had I just had my pap smear and accepted my normal results - I might have been dead by the next time my annual came around. Cancer is nothing to play with - if you have problems - have it checked out - you will be glad you did.

I also want to share one of the ways that I know that God was watching out for me through this journey- called cancer.

When I found out that I needed to have a hysterectomy - God led me to the right Dr. who did the new DiVinci surgery. If you have cancer- and you have a laproscopy surgery - the way the procedure works - you actually have a chance of spreading the cancer while they are removing the uterus because with the laproscopy surgery - they take the uterus out in pieces. With the DiVinci surgery - the uterus is taken out completely whole. Once we found out that I had cancer- and I read an article telling of how the other surgery could allow the cancer to spread - I knew that God had been in control - because I had never heard of the DiVinci surgery before. But God was in control and I am so thankful that He was.

We can be confident that no matter what we face - God knows and will be with us every step of the way.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

In One Thousand Trials....

"In one thousand trials it is not five hundred of them that work for the believer's good, but nine hundred and ninety-nine of them, and one besides."
George Mueller speaking of Romans 8:28 :0)

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

"I Love You's" from God

My husband and I like to do puzzles; however, we do not like paying a lot of money for puzzles. So we buy them from the thrift store. One of the thrift stores that I go to - has a lady that does the puzzles before they sell them to make sure that all the pieces are there. The only problem is that the puzzles still run more than I want to pay for a puzzle.
A favorite little thrift store in the area - sells their puzzles for 25-50 cents for a puzzle. That is more my style. So far all of the puzzles that we have gotten from them - have had all the pieces- I hope that continues.
Remember when I told you about going to the thrift store to pick up a few more puzzles last week.
Well one of the puzzles that I got - showed where the puzzle had originally came with a magnet. I have always wanted one of the magnets - but by the time that we buy the puzzle - the magnets are gone. So this morning - I am looking at this puzzle and I move it around and I hear a different noise than the usual pieces moving around sound. So I open up the puzzle and guess what I found?
A brand new puzzle and a brand new magnet!!!
What a wonderful I love you from God. I bought the puzzle for 25 cents and not only did I get a brand new puzzle but I also got a magnet. And it is even more special because on the barn it says - "Ladies of Lancaster- Quilts on Display" Along with several different quilts on the puzzle.
I love - I love you from God. I love that I will put this magnet on my fridge and will always remember today and what a joy it was to open that puzzle and find this magnet! What a blessing! :O)

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Can You Tell?

Here is a photo of me from over the week end.
Can you tell my hair is getting darker?! I am thrilled about it. Especially since the weather here has been pretty warm and wearing a hat or wig is hot. I am happy to see that the day when I won't have to wear those things is fastly approaching. Yeah - I know I could go without them now- but I have not had enough courage. That is one reason why I am sharing my photo here - so that maybe because I am having the courage to share it here- maybe it can help me get more used to seeing it and having other people see me like this and then maybe when I do decide to go without wig or hat - I can better handle it.
Last week I watched a couple of Youtube videos where ladies that had lost their hair due to chemo - showed videos of their hair growing back. And I realized that it will take even longer than I had first thought it would - to grow out even to the shorter cut I had before chemo. Trying not to let that bother me right now - I am just trying to appreciate the growth that I have.
Oh I also wanted to warn you all - I am planning on doing another post about my cancer- mostly that so when people click over to check out my blog- from seeing my bald head(lol) that I can at least put a public service announcement type of thing out - maybe helping someone else in the process. I just did not want any of you to think I had lost it by sharing about it
I think I am going to try to get a weekly photo of myself - and that way I can compare photos and see the progress- especially since it is hard for me to see the progress when I see my hair every day. Not sure if I will post a weekly photo but I will see. Only if I can get good photos.
Hope you all are having a good week. :O)  

Monday, June 9, 2014

The Spoken Word

Last week I went to one of my favorite little thrift stores. I received a blessing and wanted to share it with you as well.

As I was checking out with the treasures that I had found, the lady that runs the place and I were talking. Another shopping that came behind me ended up being a friend's Mom. She had seen me about half way through my chemo treatment. That was the first time she had seen me in a couple of years. Anyway so today she was at the thrift store - and as the three of us were talking -she made a statement that blessed my heart. She was telling me how good I looked and say "You are beautiful as always." Wow- what a blessing to my soul. Not only a comment as to looking good for just finishing up chemo - but also the compliment that I have always been beautiful. It really blessed my soul.

I think it is important for us to really pay attention to what we say. We can really bless those around us with kind, edifying words. Just a little lesson I learned and a blessing I received.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Love With All Your Heart.....series

True Love

Love that is true does not insist
Its own selfish way to receive;
It's never controlling, or forceful, or rude,
Demanding what self would achieve.
Love that is true does not whimper and pout
For selfish attention to gain;
It won't be offended and coldly withdraw
To wallow in pity and pain.
Love that is true is not angry and mean;
Destroying the trust of a friend.
It never will gossip or cruely lash out
With critical words that condemn.
Love that is true is not greedy and proud,
It never deceives or betrays;
It will not be scheming or ever give up
Or demonstrate unholy ways.
For true love is gentle and patient and kind;
It's giving and humble and meek.
True love is accepting, forgiving, and just,
The good of a friend it does seek.
And true love is loyal, and trusting, and firm,
Commitment is lasing and sure.
Love shows great compassion and builds up one's faith,
This love will forever endure.
Linda Driver
A poem from our "Love With All Your Heart" booklet. Our usual series will just be posted on Sabbath's, with the exception of today's post and the last post of this series - which will also be a  poem. 

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Love WIth All Your Heart .....series

Today will be the beginning of a new series. I hope it blesses each of you as it has blessed me.

Love With All Your Heart

A Treatise on True Love- 1 Corinthians 13
What is true love? We recognize that love is needed in relationships with others but often we mistake selfish passion for love. Love is actually the opposite of selfishness. True love comes from God alone: we do not have it naturally. Love is a gift that we must receive; in fact, it is the very best gift that God can give!
A beautiful description of this divine love can be found in the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians. Here are inscribed 15 priceless principles that constitute true love. IF we allow God to weave these principles into the fabric of our characters, we will experience a transformation that goes far beyond any self-improvement methodology that modern psychology can offer. In fact, this heavenborn love is the most powerful principle in existence for it is the one by which God Himself is motivated. Every good and noble desire needs to be combined with the power of love in order to be truly successful.
If you want to make an impact on the world, try love. No other power can outmatch the power of love. Hard hearts will melt under the softening influence of love. When brought face to face with vicious animosity and opposition, love has been known to subdue and conquer, even against all odds. Whatever obstacles are looming up in your pathway, love can help smooth out the way. In fact, when you face the most trying circumstances love has the greatest opportunity to make a difference. You can come to see these challenges in life as Spirit-induced calls to tap into God's love in order to lift you above your own natural human reactions. And how extremely effective this love is@ What a marvelous sense of power can be found in maintaining a calm, peaceful spirit when all around you are berserk with rage. How awesome is that power of love that can respond in loving compassion when confronted with abuse and ridicule. That is POWER!
In every relationship love will sweeten the communication and strengthen the friendship. Love is the very core of relationships because love is the giving of oneself. And that is the rule by which the universe operates for it is the principle of heaven.
Yes, love is to be ultimately desired, and God is eager to bestow this love upon us if we are wiling to receive it. But in order to receive divine love we must be willing to let go of selfishness, that greedy, grasping, strangling weed that chokes out our happiness. And when we experience God's love by opening up our hearts, our joy will know no bounds!
Come with me as we explore this love chapter and discover the incredible power continued therein. Each one of us has areas in our lives that need to be brought to the mirror of God's Word in order to consider our inadequacies. And with that knowledge we are encouraged to come boldly before God and have our lack supplies. So then let us eagerly invite this transforming love to enter into our innermost beings. We will never be the same again!

Friday, June 6, 2014

These Five Statements

"When you and I find our places in Christ where God can freely fulfill His promises to us, we will also experience immeasurable blessing. Blessing is defined by neither ease nor worldly possessions nor stock-market successes. Blessing is bowing down to receive the expressions of divine favor that in the inner recesses of the human heart and mind make life worth the bother."
  Beth Moore- found in her "Believing God" book! :O)
This week I began reading Beth Moore's book - Believing God. It is an awesome book. I am not surprised - I really like Beth Moore. Her love for the Lord and studying His Word flows out of her.
This is just the book that I needed to read. If you ever get the chance to read it I would highly recommend it.
"These five statements become a shield of faith to those who will allow them to penetrate the marrow of their belief systems.
God is who He says He is.
God can do what He says He can do.
I am who God says I am.
I can do all things through Christ.
God's Word is alive and active in me."
This is basically the foundation of the book and she goes more in depth with each of these statements.
 I will probably be sharing a little here and there as I continue to read through this book.
Hope you all have a wonderful day. We are going on a day trip. I can't wait to experience something new- will probably share about it later. :o)  

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Memories, A Series, And a Continuing Work

This morning when I washed my hair- I had one of those moments when one of your senses reminds you of something in the past. While washing my hair - I was reminded of washing my son's hair when they were babies. It should not surprise me at all- I have baby hair- it is having to totally start over. If I wanted to describe it's length with a plural - I would have to use millimeters - at it is only about 1 1/2 centimeters "long" - it's funny to use the expression "long" after such a tiny measurement... lol

I am thankful that I have hair and that it is growing but it certainly is not growing as fast as I had thought it would grow. I am sure hoping that the longer I am away from chemo - the faster it will grow.

This week end I am going to start a new series. I found a wonderful book that I think will be such a blessing to me that I want to share it with you all as well. It is called "Love With All Your Heart- A Treatise on True Love 1 Corinthians 13" by Linda Driver. It looks like it will take about 18 weeks to finish the booklet. I hope you all will check back to read it. I really think it will transform our lives once we get a better understanding what Love really is.

Today I had a conversation with someone and it got me to thinking about my Christian life. Although I was raised in a Christian home and picked up a lot of my basic beliefs growing up- I did not stop my walk with God at that point. God has continues to work with me. He doesn't want me to stay stagnant, no He wants me to be spending time with Him- learning more and more about who He is and at the same time learning who He wants me to be. There is so much to learn - I don't think that the Christian walk is ever where we get to where we are going and have no more improvements to make or lessons to learn. There is always going to be something. God builds upon what we already knows- he teaches us step by step. And sometimes I am sure that he has to take tiny baby steps with us when we just don't get the lesson we need to learn. But God is patient and merciful and continues to work with us - as long as we allow Him to guide and direct us. Philippians 1:6 says:"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"    What God is doing in us is continual- He is working on completing the work - when Jesus comes to take us home. Until that day - we are being molded and shaped into what God created us to be.

Oh - On a post earlier this week - I had said that I would share why I love a little thrift store nearby. On Sunday my husband and I went to this thrift shop- He picked out a great 1,000 piece puzzle. We also found some other great buys. Anyway once we got the puzzle put together- yep- he is already done with it. We found that the puzzle was missing 1 piece. Well while we were there - my husband had noticed a couple other puzzles and since she had only charged us 50 cents for it - I thought I would go back and get the lighthouse puzzle that he had liked plus a couple more. Anyway when I walked in the door- the lady that runs the shop asked if all the pieces that been with the puzzle we bought- As I began to tell her that one was missing she pulled a puzzle piece out of her drawer and said that she had found it after we left and had thought it went with our puzzle. How thoughtful was that? I bought 3 more puzzles- and only had to pay 25 cent each for them! I love a good deal. my husband has already started the lighthouse puzzle. It is a bit more challenging- but hey puzzles are fun to put together - so it is ok if it is challenging.

Today I went to another favorite thrift store- and I was happy to find a few things that I was wanting to have for this summer. I had wanted some ABC cookie cutters- for cookies and playing with play dough. I found a bag of ABC's and 123's - the only thing that was missing is the V and X. And that is alright - when you only have to pay $2.00 for something that you figured you have to pay a whole lot more for - the you are totally ok without having all the pieces - especially letters like those. Her name does not use either of these letters - so it is fine. I also found some shape cookie cutters! My son will have his daughter for the month of July so I am trying to plan fun activities for her- and finding these things will make the time much more fun for both of us and more educational as well. I will have to stop by my favorite thrift shops ever so often over the next month to see what I can find to my collection of fun things for her to do. And more of what I am finding I am putting up till July. 

It has been a very warm week with our highs in the 90's. And it looks it will continue to be weather like that for the next week. I am sure praying for a mild summer- but with our temps already being in the 90's already - has me a bit worried.

Ok - I have some things I need to get busy on- so I better get off of here. Hope you all are doing fine. :O)

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Validated or Invalidated?

This past week-end I was reminded how important it is to validate peoples feelings. We may not agree with what they are feelings or their feelings might be uncomfortable for us, but it is still a good idea to respect them by validating their feelings.

There were two different experiences that reminded me of the importance of validating feelings. The first experience - was when I was asked how I was doing - and I guess the tone of my fine - was not what the other person wanted to hear. So I was asked about it. And I shared a painful experience with this person. And what I got next was not what I expected. I had expected just understanding, but that is not what I got. I got a bit of a scolding. The situation really bothered me and it took me a while to figure out that what had really bothered me was that my feelings were not validated.

The next time that I was faced with not validating some one's feelings - I was actually at fault. My husband has said something and it was how he said it with the tone of voice and all that made me feel uncomfortable. He was sharing his disappoint about something - and because I have a personality of thinking I need to fix things- really felt a lot of pressure because there was nothing I could do. So I had felt defensive and what I ended up saying - was not helpful at all- and it certainly did not validate his feelings at all. It took me a bit to figure out what I was doing. And once I did- I apologized. This was not the first time that I have done this - and it probably won't be the last- but the good news is that I am figuring out what I am doing quicker each time, which enables me to apologize and then be more open to listening to his feelings.

I have to say one more thing about the first experience- I know that this friend meant to be of encouragement - but it did not encourage me. In fact- I had recovered from the original experience but after talking to her- I was upset again. And it took me some time to gather my composer again.

Other people's feelings are important - even if we don't always agree with them. Sometimes people just need to share their feelings in order to let it go and move on. I hope I can do better to validate other people's feelings. And I also hope that I can quicker come to the conclusion when I feel invalidated because then I can move through those unpleasant emotions quicker. Just knowing why I feel the way I do, often times helps me process the emotions and let it go sooner.

Anyway I hope that this lesson that I have been reminded of again - will help someone else. :O)

Monday, June 2, 2014

This and That - and Yes - Really That!

Just thought I would take a little bit of time today to share a few things with you all. Kind of a this and that kind of post.
First up - well last week I had shared last week that my eye brows were coming in. Well they are still quite light because they are little tiny hairs. And the last few days I have just been going without my eye brow pencil. The reason I have been not using my eye brow pencil is it is very challenging for me to use it now that I have a lot more area that is darker so it is harder for me to use the pencil and make the brow the way I want to make them look. Well when using my hats - it works just fine to go without my eye brow pencil. But Sabbath morning - as I was getting ready for church- I had a surprise. Once I put my wig on- I was shocked at how very light, non existent that my eye brows looked. Well my husband and granddaughter were ready to go and I felt pressured. Using my eye brow pencil has always been challenging for me - I have only been using one for the past month and it has been hard for me to make my eye brows match. Anyway so I was feeling pressured but it looked awful to have my make up on and my dark wig - and then my eye brows look so light. So it was a stressful time. My husband was very helpful and had SweetPea help him with something to give me a little extra time. Anyway I was able to get it done.
I have decided to share a photo with you all - of me without my wig or hat.
I finally got a decent photo - and you can at least see that I have a tiny bit of hair. It has gotten darker - thankfully - it's easier to see then the peach fuzz it was to begin with.
Feel privileged that I shared this photo- I do not go around without something covering my head and hardly anyone that is not family have seen my bald head. But I just felt that since I got a decent photo of it - where I don't look as horrible as most of the photos that I have tried to take have turned out. So you are lucky to get to see this photo. Hey- it is part of my "adventure" and a part of my reality. So it is just something I feel like I need to do- like a freeing experience maybe. I don't really know- but I have felt like I am suppose to share it. There are others that may have to go through this - and I want to be a good example to others to show that what ever God allows to come your way - He will give you the strength and courage to get through it. I would have never thought that I could have gone through the last 6 months but I have made it- and I still face months till my hair is at a length that I would really like to have it at- but God will continue to give me the strength and courage to face each and every day.
Oh - and guess what- I continue to lose my eye lashes. My right eye has virtually none- well I can't see anything - maybe a hair or two but I have to REALLY look to find them - my left eye has a few more. But the truth is that I don't have enough eye lashes to even waste time putting mascara on. Just think of all the time I will - it takes a whole lot more time to try to put mascara on when you hardly have any lashes. So today I am not even using mascara - and it will be a while before I use it again. At least I have learned how to use my eye liner on both top and bottom area of my eye lashes to make me look better. I just have been surprised. I had read how people had said that there eye lashes were the last to go - I just had no idea that 3 weeks after chemo was totally behind me - that I would have continued to lose eye lashes and have to start from scratch. I guess since the new stuff will be coming in soon - that the old stuff is coming out to make room for the new stuff. Have lost more of my eye brows but at least there is a shadow where the new growth is.
It has gotten warm around here- it will be in the 90's all week long. So I am having to try to get my outside jobs done in the mornings- before it gets too warm.
I am going to spend some time this afternoon - looking through the vhs movies that we have - and make a list of them. And also of the kids books that we have. So I can use those lists to plan what I am going to do with SweetPea this summer. I am thinking of doing themes each week and trying to incorporate books and movies in with what we are doing to reinforce what we are learning. I am also working on getting projects ready.
Well I better close- I have a list of things I want to get done tonight.
I hope this finds you all doing well. :O)