Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love. I Corinthians 16:13, 14 NKJV

Friday, February 28, 2014

The Importance of Praise

Just wanted to share a few quotes from a book that I had started reading and then lost track of - well I found it this week and here are some of the things that I had underlined from the portion of the book that I have read so far.

I can see that this book is one that I need to finish reading. I believe PRAISE to be very important. It has helped me refocus - from my problems back onto Jesus- where my focus needed to be.

"His Praise Goes On- Thanking God From a Full Heart" by Kay D. Rizzo is the book that these quotes come from- from pages 24-25.

"And there exists no more fragrant perfume to the Father than the aroma of praise watered with our tears, "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy" Ps. 126:5, KJV"

"Praise and faith work hand in hand. God multiplies my faith when I praise Him. the more  praise, the greater I trust Him to help me. As a result the more I have cause to praise Him."

"A Christian philosopher once said, "When you need faith there are two steps to take: go to God’s Word, and begin praising Him. These two go together as naturally as hydrogen and oxygen together make water."

"Oswald Chambers, author of My Utmost for His Highest, wrote: "A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands f an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again, the saint says_ 'I cannot take any more' Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love.... Faith is the heroic effort of your life, you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God...If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvelous things all the time" pg. 93"

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Junk in My Trunk part 2

Yesterday my husband loaded up a couch and recliner that we were donating to Goodwill. As he was loading up, I remembered that I had a lot of bags of donation stuff in the trunk of my car. So I went and got them and transferred them to the truck, so that they could be dropped off as well. It felt so good to have that stuff out of my trunk. Now I can fit the things in my trunk that I want to put in it.

While I was thinking about the post that I had written yesterday- I realized that my clean trunk was a great example of that post. For a couple of weeks - my trunk was pretty full of these bags of stuff to donate. And it was hard to fit groceries in it when I went grocery shopping. How wonderful it was to finally have that stuff gone. Now I have all the room I need for what is important.

Same as in my life- I have held onto unneeded habits and attitudes and they have kept me from experiencing what God had in mind for me all along. And as I turn my will over to God and allow Him to guide and direct my life I am allowing Him to take those bad habits and attitudes away from me- leaving room for the love, joy, peace, and so much more.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
And the good news is that if we will allow Him to work in our lives by turning our wills over to Him- He is faithful to do it.

24 He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.
1 Thessalonians 5:24
being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;
Philippians 1:6 
(Going around Facebook)
It just takes us willing to allow Him to guide and direct us. We need to be spending quiet time with Him - studying His Word to us. And not just reading the Word of God- but putting to practice that which we read.
22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
James 1:22

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Large Balance...Just Waiting For You and Me part 1

"There is always a large balance in the bank of heaven
 waiting for our exercise of faith in drawing it.
 Draw heavily upon His resources."
 From my "Streams in the Desert" devotional for today.
It's really amazing, if you think about it, all that God will provide for us if we are willing to allow our selves to be emptied to make room for all that He will give us.
We hold so tightly to our own ideas and want to control every aspect of our lives. And in doing so we miss out on so many blessings. So many wonderful things that our Father in heaven is willing and wanting to give us but we are so full of ourselves to receive these blessings.
I used to hold on so tightly to things in my life, afraid that if I turned my life and my will over to God that He would take these things from me. What I have found to be true is that when I open my hands to God and turn my life and my will over to Him- the things that I lose end up being the things that would hinder a deeper relationship with Him.
There are some things over the past year that I have lost that may not have hindered my relationship with Him, but for those things God has given me grace. Just one more of His wonderful gifts that He abundantly gives to His children.
     That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; 17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. 20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think , according to the power that worketh in us, 21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages,
world without end. Amen.
 Ephesians 3:16-21

Monday, February 24, 2014

God's Hand Leading...

Today I was reminded by God that He is in control and has been in control this whole time! Before my hysterectomy I had not even heard of the da Vinci surgeries. Well as soon as I knew that I had some problems and needed to find a gyn. I am a friend of mine who is a nurse, which Dr. she would recommend. She recommended 2 - who did the da Vinci surgeries. She said that the ladies who had the da Vinci surgeries seemed to recover quicker and that it seemed to be easier on them. Well one of the Dr she named - had delivered our grand baby and so I just knew she was the one I needed to use. She is an excellent Dr. and I am thankful to God that I was reminded of her - she really made this journey easier on me. When it was decided that I needed a surgery we decided on the da Vinci surgery which would mean that my uterus would be removed through the vagina. Now this is where things get really interesting. Today I found out that when people do laparoscopy surgeries - a procedure called Morcellation - it is a process in which the object that is being taken out ends up in pieces so that they can come out of the small holes. I know this is very non-technically explained - but you get the idea. You can look it up if you would like to know more. Anyway so if I had have chosen the laparoscopy type hysterectomy and they had used this process- my body would have been exposed to the cancer and there would have been a greater chance of the cancer spreading. Remember - when I had my hysterectomy - we had no idea that there was cancer. So God led - me not only to the right Dr. but in the process we made all the right choices that helped protect me from the potential danger. It really helps reassure me that God is in control.

I am realizing more and more my need of God leading in my decision making process. The story above really made that clear- before I even realized the danger - God was in the process working it out.

Today I had another interesting thing happen. I had ran to town to run some errands. I had meant to get gas while I was out and about, but I had ended up coming home another direction and missed all the places I normally like to stop. Well several miles down the road from my house is a gas station- and the price was actually 4 cents cheaper than any of the other places. So I decided to stop there. When I swiped my card - I waited for the normal question asking how I wanted to use the card but did not get that - instead it asked for a 5 digit zip code- I typed that in and when I went to get the nozzle into my gas tank- I had not squeezed he handle at all but gas had started to come out - just a little bit - but when I turned around and looked at the pump - I noticed that it had charged me for 6 cents of gas. That was weird since I had not even squeezed the handle. Then when I began to pump the gas it came out slowly. As I stood there I just had a bad feeling about everything - I thought that if the pumps were in that bad of shape then I was sure that the tanks that the gas is held in are more than likely in bad shape as well. And I decided even though the price was the cheapest around that I did not want to fill up my car. So I go to an even number and stopped. And left. I may never know for sure if it was God leading or if it was just mean but that is ok - I would much rather listen to the feelings that I got and be safe than to be sorry. I want God to know that I am listening and that I am willing to allow Him to lead in my life. And each time we listen and obey - the easier it becomes.

If you are on Facebook and would like to be friends just leave me a comment and a way to get ahold of you through e-mail or such and I will get back with you. I would love to have you as a Facebook friend. :o)

Oh and I am SO very glad that I had went to the insurance website yesterday(a prompting from God- I believe) because today - we received a bill at it had a whole long list of charges - and had I not know about them I might have been blown away by the 3 pages of charges. A blessing in disguise- that I had faced that information before I received the bill associated with it. God is good! :O)

The Guardrail


I love this- it has been floating around Facebook lately and I just had to share - just in case some of you have not had the chance to see it yet. I really think it has a very good message. Many times the idea that people have of who God is - is that the commandments are confining and that God is just sitting up in heaven watching to zap anyone who break the commandments, but that is not the case. The Ten Commandments are commandments of Love. They are there in order to protect us. God wanted to protect us as much as He could from the results of sin and so He lovingly wrote those Ten Commandments with His very finger on stone- to show the permanency of them and because He cared enough to make it personal. When we step over the guard rails the natural consequence of sin then is the punishment of breaking the commandments. Our God is a God of love and I am so thankful for the guardrails that He set in place for our protection. Hope everyone is having a good day! :O)

Sunday, February 23, 2014

It's How Much???

My husband found a really good deal on one of the older ipads - since they have come out with newer versions. Anyway - so on it he had put a e-mail account that we don't use very often but for some reason our health insurance e-mails was going to it. So I had tried last night to log into our account from the ipad and could figure out what the combo was. Today I tried from our computer and was able to get in. Then I began to look through everything - and I was blown over by the prices of my chemo and apts. I mean seriously blown over. I also found out that our deductible per person had gone up several hundred dollars... bummer. Anyway back to the cost $$$ of the chemo and such. After finding out how high it is - I am not surprised now to hear people saying that the reason why so many Dr send their patients to chemo is the $$$. And I begin to wonder if it was really necessary that I have chemo and if I am on the right path. Then I think of the way that God has provided for us so far - with some very kind people donating $ to us to help out with the cost and the encouragement that the godly people around me have generously given- one very special thing comes to mind instantly and that is the beautiful afghan that a special friend made me - I will try to post a photo of it later in the week- just too tired to get the camera to download the photo right now.

Anyway so when I got done looking at the $$ and then looking to see why in the world it was so expensive- I was discouraged and depressed. I would really explain it as emotional and sad. I don't like the extra expense that it is causing my family. I don't like having poison pumped into my body and then deal with the after effects - and then to have to put my husbands hard earned money - or money lovingly donated towards it is just not fun at all. And as I thought about why I was feeling so sad and emotional about it, I realized that some of my sadness is that thought of people that don't have good insurance- which then got me to thinking - if I had not had a decent insurance would my Dr have had the same idea as to my treatment? - I know - my thoughts were here and there. My heart goes out to people - when I go for my treatment - there are anywhere from at least 15-35 other people having treatments and that is just one of the week and one oncology place. Anyway - I am praising God that we have insurance, even though our deductible has gone up and even though our out of pocket is pretty high- it is so much better than what it could be so I am choosing to be thankful.

Sorry for kind of a bummer of a post tonight but I thought that it would help me sort out these thoughts to write it out- and a lot of times once you do that - you no longer are carrying those things. And I hope that this is what this will do for me today - that now that I have shared my feelings and thoughts that I will be able to lay down and have a good nights sleep. I have really had a good day. I have accomplished a decent amount of things. I wrote out a list of things I wanted to accomplish today and I got them done plus a few more things. My kitchen is even cleaned up. There have been a few times this past week that I went to bed with dishes in the sink - cause I was just too tired and did not feel like dealing with them. And then the next day I would work on them when I had energy. So I actually have the sink empty and cleaned out! I am so happy to come to the point of having energy to get things done. It feels good. :O)

Every Difficulty...

Today my devotional in my "Streams in the Desert" book -really struck a cord with me.
Makes you wonder what that lion is in your life? For mine - right now - cancer.

**And by the way - I am on the upswing- I am feeling better. Tummy has calmed down. Still dealing with tingling and numbness in my feet, calves and hands - but bearable. I am just happy to have the other problems getting better. Hope ya'll have a great day! :O)

And there came a lion  
1 Samuel 17:34

It is a source of inspiration and strength to come in touch with the youthful David, trusting God. Through faith in God he conquered a lion and a bear, and afterwards overthrew the mighty Goliath. When that lion came to despoil that flock, it came as a wondrous opportunity to David. If he had failed or faltered he would have missed God's opportunity for him and probably would never have come to be God's chosen king of Israel.

"And there came a lion." One would not think that a lion was a special blessing from God; one would think that only an occasion of alarm. The lion was God's opportunity in disguise. Every difficulty that presents itself to us, if we receive it in the right way, is God's opportunity. Every temptation that comes is God's opportunity.

When the "lion" comes, recognize it as God's opportunity no matter how rough the exterior. The very tabernacle of God was covered with badgers' skins and goats' hair; one would not think there would be any glory there. The Shekinah of God was manifest under that kind of covering. May God open our eyes to see Him, whether in temptations, trials, dangers, or misfortunes.
--C. H. P.

Friday, February 21, 2014


So sorry - I forgot to mention this was from my "Streams in the Desert" devotional book today:

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him
Psalms 37:7

Have you prayed and prayed and waited and waited, and still there is no manifestation? Are you tired of seeing nothing move? Are you just at the point of giving it all up? Perhaps you have not waited in the right way? This would take you out of the right place the place where He can meet you.
"With patience wait" (Rom. 8:25). Patience takes away worry. He said He would come, and His promise is equal to His presence. Patience takes away your weeping. Why feel sad and despondent? He knows your need better than you do, and His purpose in waiting is to bring more glory out of it all. Patience takes away self-works. The work He desires is that you "believe" (John 6:29), and when you believe, you may then know that all is well. Patience takes away all want. Your desire for the thing you wish is perhaps stronger than your desire for the will of God to be fulfilled in its arrival.
Patience takes away all weakening. Instead of having the delaying time, a time of letting go, know that God is getting a larger supply ready and must get you ready too. Patience takes away all wobbling. "Make me stand upon my standing" (Daniel 8:18, margin). God's foundations are steady; and when His patience is within, we are steady while we wait. Patience gives worship. A praiseful patience sometimes "long-suffering with joyfulness" (Col. 1:11) is the best part of it all. "Let (all these phases of) patience have her perfect work" (James 1:4), while you wait, and you will find great enrichment.
--C. H. P.

Hold steady when the fires burn,
When inner lessons come to learn,
And from this path there seems no turn
"Let patience have her perfect work."

Thursday, February 20, 2014

When You See God's Hand At Work...

I started reading a new book today. It is the exact book that I AM suppose to be reading. Do you know how I know that? Because of the results of reading this book.

The last few days have been rough. On Monday - I think that I felt beat by chemo. I was discouraged knowing that chemo seems to be cumulative which basically means that each time gets worse. And when I was so miserable, it really discouraged me. I have gotten a little better each day - not in as bad of shape but stills suffering the affects of chemo. I was surviving but not thriving. I don't expect to be feeling like I am thriving all the way through this journey with chemo- but I want to feel hope. I want to know that my Saviour walks along this path with me.

This book was suggested to me at the beginning of this cancer journey- and I am embarrassed that it took me so very long to start reading it. I have been totally blessed by every other book by this author that I have read - so why did it take me so long to pick this book up and start to read it. I really don't have a good answer for that, but I do know that today was the day to begin to read it. There were too many obvious verses and thoughts that came out of my first reading of this book- to think otherwise.

Whatever your anxieties and trials, spread out your case before the Lord. Your spirit will be braced for endurance. The way will be open for you to disentangle yourself from embarrassment and difficulty. The weaker and more helpless you know yourself to be, the stronger will you become in His strength. The heavier your burdens, the more blessed the rest in casting them upon your Burden Bearer.
 Ministry of Healing pg. 72
Today I am feeling more hope, I know that my Saviour is walking along this journey with me and that by putting my dependence on Him- I will make it through this journey.

Thanks so much for the prayers - I really need them.
Continuing to pray for each of you.
In this world, we need all the prayers we can get.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Endometrial Cancer- Important Information

Just a quick post to share some very important information. For anyone new coming over to check out my blog- I would like to share just a little bit of my story - just in case it may help one of you.

3 months ago - I had a hysterectomy. I had an enlarged uterus and the Dr thought that I had - adenomyosis. So on November the 18th- I had a total hysterectomy. When my uterus was sent to the lab- they found cancer- Endometrial cancer or uterine cancer. This is very unusual for someone pre menopausal- and it is the reason why my cancer was not found early enough. The cancer was found to have grown to about 80% into the uterine wall. If they find the cancer before it gets past the 50% point of the uterine wall- they are more sure that the cancer has been contained in the uterus. And on top of it being so large - I also found out that my cancer cells were a grade 3 - the highest and most aggressive cancer cells. For this reason - I was sent to on oncologist and am undergoing chemo - 6 rounds of Carbo/Taxol. Every 3 weeks I get chemo. Last Friday I did my 3rd round. 3 more to go. I will be having to have 3-5 radiation treatments when the chemo is done.

What I would like to share with you ladies is- if you are menopausal and you begin to bleed- have it checked out ASAP- that is when people find this cancer in time - so that they are able to just do a hysterectomy and not end up having to have all the chemo and radiation. If you are pre- menopausal and you are having heavy periods and break through bleeding- or spotting more and more- be sure and get with your Dr and explain to her what is going on with you. Please look up Endometrial Cancer and see what all the symptoms are for it and be sure and let your Dr's know what is going on with you. I had spoken to my Dr the last time I went for an appointment and wish now that I had have pursued having it checked out sooner - rather than waiting a little over a year and then when I went in I knew that I needed to have more done- even though the pap smear tests comes back normal does not mean that everything is ok. Endometrial cancer does not show up on pap smear tests. So you have to let your Dr know what is going on with you- if you have heavy period- or are bleeding more and more- have it checked out. I am only 44 years old - and was diagnosed at 43 with this cancer that usually hits women that are post menopausal. And when it hits younger women it tends to be more serious because we just think that the symptoms are just premenopausal and so we let it slid.

I really hope that by me sharing my story - that I can help other women avoid having to go through what I am having to go through it is no fun. And it is also scary - to realize that you have had cancer growing inside of you for who knows how long and had no idea. It changes your life. I am so thankful that God led me to pushing have more testing done and that we found this cancer. Had I just had my pap smear and accepted my normal results - I might have been dead by the next time my annual came around. Cancer is nothing to play with - if you have problems - have it checked out - you will be glad you did.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I'm Alive.. and Kicking

Sorry it has taken me so long to update. Mostly I have spent today on the couch watching recorded Price is Right shows. I think the reason I do this is because it does not take a whole lot of brain power to stay up with a story line- and I am also able to use my brain a bit to guess prices or what ever so it is entertaining to me as well.

Today has been a better day than yesterday was for sure. Yesterday - my husband ended up having some time off and so I thought that I would be able to handle a trip to Walmart to pick up some stuff that had been sitting on the list for a few days- well that ended up being a huge mistake for me. I was so hot while I was there - and did what I could to get the stuff we needed and left as soon as I could. When we got home - I took a hot bath and got my night gown on, even though it was like 1:30pm. And I crawled in bed and rested and slept - spent about 2 hours total in bed but only slept about half of that. When I got up I actually felt about as crappy if not worse then I did before I laid down. So I just sat in our recliner and rested/watched tv most of the afternoon. I took another hot bath before bed and went to bed at about 9pm. I slept better last night - of course I took a pain pill and a Tylenol pm before going to bed. I am having to drink a lot of water trying flush the chemo out of the system - and so that ends up meaning several different trips to the bathroom throughout the night. But the good news is that once I got back into bed - it did not take me hours to get back to sleep like it did the nights that I had the steroids. So I got a decent amount of sleep.

Today I have been able to get a few little jobs around here done- vacuumed emptied the dishwasher, and filled it up - having it going now and gathered the trash- trash day is tomorrow so I wanted the trash gathered so my husband could take it down when he got home. I also made Crockpot Peppersteak for supper- that is something that is fairly easy and so I did not have to be up working a lot in the kitchen.

Today I have dealt with the aches and pains that always come after chemo- and then the queasiness- it is like I have to eat smaller amounts of stuff off and on all day long -cause I get to where I feel like if I don't eat - I will be sick. So I have to either eat or drink something - but hardly anything sounds good to me. It is a pain- but I just don't want to deal with that sick feeling - it is NO fun. So I have to eat a banana or crackers or yogurt ever so often to keep it at bay. It is almost 8pm now and I am thinking I will take another hot bath - and then get myself ready for bed. Will probably have to take my pain pills before bed cause I am hurting. I have only taken a Tylenol during the day- trying to just use the pain pills when really needed.

Since today was a bit better than yesterday- I am hoping that tomorrow will be better than today. I did learn an important lesson yesterday - and that is that the Monday after Chemo- is a day at home for sure. It is a rough day for sure. Oh and here is some bad news- my granbaby's spring break starts the Monday after my next chemo- how is that for awful timing. We will be helping our son with her- I would sure like it to work out that it is a different week so that we can take her to the zoo and aquarium and fun stuff like that - instead of Grammie being sick and spending too much time on the couch/recliner. Anyway I am praying about that. There is nothing I can do about it. I really don't want her to see me feeling so crappy. It is no fun at all.

Anyway I wanted to thank you all for your prayers and your comments of encouragement. I really do appreciate them - even if I am not able to respond to each and every one of them. They do mean a lot to me and I continue to pray for each of you. I know that you all are going through tough situations as well and I know that God will continue to give each of us the strength and courage to get through each trial that comes our way. So thankful for a faithful Father. God bless :O)

Monday, February 17, 2014

but the Bible...

Please be praying for me today has been a very hard day. I will update tomorrow- hopefully after a good nights sleep. Thanks.

Here is a quote from a book that I finished reading today - I really liked it and thought you guys would too. :O)

"Many books are inspiring, but the Bible is inspired.
 Many books are enlightening, but the Bible is enlightened.
 Many books are food for the mind, but the Bible is food for the soul.
 Many books provide a direction for life, but the Bible provides a power for living."
quote from "Final Days" by Mark A. Finley

Too Risky To Continue....

Every Friday I love to change our sheets. I like to have fresh sheets to bring in the Sabbath. It is something that I was taught by my Mother and continue to do to this day. Along with changing the sheets- I used to sprinkle baby powder on the bottom half of the bed. Just thought that it was something special to do. Well I have been reading some posts here and there on a cancer support group thing- and I saw something that made me realize that I needed to stop sprinkling the baby powder on our sheets.

There have been studies done- showing that baby powder - maybe it is the Talc in the baby powder that causes cancer. In the conversation - there were people that said that Dr.'s and nurses in their families would not use baby powder because of this. Anyway since I have shared in the past about using the baby powder to sprinkle on my sheets each week - and I could not find the post to edit it- I thought I would write a new post and share this information with you all. I would hate to encourage dangerous habits that could cause bad results. So last Friday will be the last time that I put baby powder on my sheets. It is just too risky - when it is known to cause cancer.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Doing Alright...

I am doing alright. I am awfully tired. I did sleep better last night - thankful for that. Yesterday was the last day that I had to take steroids till the day before Chemo next time. Very happy about that.
I am feeling achy and pains - but will take a pain pill later - if I need to.
Anyway here is my devotional for today. Thought I would share the encouragement.
Though I have afflicted thee, I will afflict thee no more
 Nahum 1:12

There is a limit to affliction. God sends it, and removes it. Do you sigh and say, "When will the end be?" Let us quietly wait and patiently endure the will of the Lord till He cometh. Our Father takes away the rod when His design in using it is fully served.
If the affliction is sent for testing us, that our graces may glorify God, it will end when the Lord has made us bear witness to His praise.
We would not wish the affliction to depart until God has gotten out of us all the honor which we can possibly yield Him. There may be today " a great calm." Who knows how soon those raging billows will give place to a sea of glass and the sea birds sit on the gentle waves?
After long tribulation, the flail is hung up, and the wheat rests in the garner. We may, before many hours are past, be just as happy as now we are sorrowful.
It is not hard for the Lord to turn night into day. He that sends the clouds can as easily clear the skies. Let us be of good cheer. It is better farther on. Let us sing Hallelujah by anticipation.
--C.H. Spurgeon
The great Husbandman is not always threshing. Trial is only for a season. The showers soon pass. Weeping may tarry only for the few hours of the short summer night; it must be gone at day break. Our light affliction is but for a moment. Trial is for a purpose, "If needs be."
The very fact of trial proves that there is something in us very precious to our Lord; else He would not spend so much pains and time on us. Christ would not test us if He did not see the precious ore of faith mingled in the rocky matrix of our nature; and it is to bring this out into purity and beauty that He forces us through the fiery ordeal.
Be patient, O sufferer!  The result will more than compensate for all our trials, when we see how they wrought out the far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. To have one word of God's commendation; to be honored before the holy angels; to be glorified in Christ, so as to be better able to flash His glory on Himself-ah! that will more than repay for all.
--Tried by Fire
As the wights of the clock, or the ballast in the vessel, are necessary for their right orderings, so is trouble in the soul-life. The sweetest scents are only obtained by tremendous pressure; the fairest flowers grow amid Alpine snow-solitudes; the fairest gems have suffered longest from the lapidary's wheel; the noblest statues have borne most blows of the chisel. All, however, are under law. Nothing happens that has not been appointed with consummate care and foresight.
--Daily Devotional Commentary

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Who Wouldn't Want...

This photo was floating around Facebook.
When I saw this - it really got my attention. There are many people who are grieving. You don't have to have lost a loved one in order to be grieving. There are many causes to grief. Some of the things that cause us grief can be talked about, some things are just too personal to share.
I think while reading through this list - I realized something else important. This is certainly a list of things that would be nice to share with one another all the time, not just in special times of grief - because like I said - we truly don't know when others may be grieving.
Drop all expectations.
Practice Validation.
Who wouldn't want to be treated this way?

 I know this list sounds pretty good to me. I think I am going to copy this list and tape it by my computer - to remind me to keep these things in mind while dealing with people.

Friday, February 14, 2014

I am Home- and Glad I am

Sorry I am posting later than I had planned on. We took my son's ipad with us but my husband wanted to watch a movie- so I let him use the ipad. Anyway today went good. I actually got some good news. I had been telling the Dr and her nurse about the Emergen C stuff that I have been taking and the Dr asked when I started taking it and I told her. She said that my blood count was really good- the blood work that shows that I my immune system is working well. She said she wishes she could share some of my good blood work with some of her other patients who are not doing so well. I told her that it could be due to the Airborne stuff that I had been taking. Another thing that I thought of later was that I am having a good amount of blueberry/banana smoothies for breakfast. And I am guessing that that might be really helping my blood work as well. Then there is the Alive Vit. that I have been taking - not every day cause I forget sometimes. And then there is, of course, the prayers - ALL the prayers of so many prayer warriors praying for me. And praying that damage is not done to my healthy cells. That is the problem with chemo- is that they are meant to go and destroy fast moving cells- the grade 3 cancer cells but they end up killing healthy cells along that way - just something that you have to live with in order to get rid of that nasty cancer. I continue to pray that God will protect my healthy cells. And to give me wisdom of what to do to help me get through this as healthy as possible.

Last night was a rough night. I had taken my steroid but had forgotten to take my evening primrose and my black kohash - which are my menopause pills. I really think that they make a difference in me being able to sleep. So by the time that I realized I had forgotten them - it was about 11pm. I got up and took them. And the good thing was that a friend had sent me a message letting me know that her family needed prayers. When I realized that - I knew that me forgetting my pills was not an accident - I needed to be up to get this message and to pray. Anyway I finally got to sleep and finally got some decent sleep. Not enough though - I can sure tell.

We are home now from chemo - I am very thankful to be home. I am very tired. I am going to go take my pills when I get this finished so that I can have a chance to sleep a little better tonight.

****One more thing that I would like to share - just in case someone else has a problem with neuropathy - I have read and then asked my Dr about it today and she said yes - that it would be a good idea for me to try it since I am having some problems with the tingly and numbness and pain in my feet and calves- some in my hands too- mostly the 2 week of my chemo cycle. So here is what is good to take - L Glutamine and B complex - she said a B6 would work too. So keep this in mind if you or someone you know has a problem with neuropathy.

I hope you all have had a wonderful Valentine's Day!!

Something floating around Facebook.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Springtime? and Maintaining...

Dallas 7 day Forecast

Well look at this! Wouldn't you know it - Come Chemo Day and the weather decides to make an about face and bring spring like weather to the area. I am still thankful for the beautiful weather that it looks like we will have. I will be trying to get out and walk when ever I am feeling good enough to do so.

I am a little discouraged tonight. As I have shared with you all that one of the chemo drugs causes constipation and then so does the anti nausea med that I have to take for like 3-4 days. I mean seriously and if I do not work at combating it - it gets pretty bad. Last time I did better than the first cycle at keeping it at bay except for one episode of a pretty rough period. I am hoping that I will be able to remember about what I did last time and be able to work it that I don't have even 1 bad episode. When I mean bad episode - I mean when you have to go but it hurts pretty bad and it is very hard to go. I know  - maybe that is too much information - but I am trying to be real here. Anyway - all of that to explain that so for the first couple of weeks I end up a few pounds up from where I start from. And even though I make good choices of what I eat and sometimes don't eat very much- I still go up a few pounds. So the last week comes around and it is like when I finally get to my pre- hysterectomy weight - it is time for another round of chemo. I need to be happy because I am doing what I want to do and that is at least maintain my weight. And it might be a struggle just to do that with having to take steroids the day before, the day of and the day after chemo now, Plus the fact that they already give me steroids before they start the chemo meds. Anyway with all the steroids it might be hard just to maintain. We were told at our nutrition class last week - that chemo is not the time to lose weight so I am resigned to losing any weight but I would sure like to at least maintain. So far so good. I am very thankful for that - because I had read pre hysterectomy - that a lot of people that have them tend to gain weight.

Remember the guy at our church who said his weight went from a size 8 to a size 16 practically over night - his words not Anyway I am happy to say that it has been about 3 months since my surgery - with all sorts of other things thrown in and I am maintaining. Even if I have to just go by the weight that I run the day or two before It still counts.

Anyway  - I am tired and I am hoping for a good nights sleep. So I am going to close for now. And finish getting ready for bed. We have to be at the Oncology place by 9:00am- Chemo should start around 10:00am. I will probably try to post something while I am there. Hoping for a non eventful day. I hope you all have a great Valentine's Day. This Valentine's Day will be better for me than last year was- Last year I had some major pain and numbness going on in my right hip and leg( may have been related to my cancer) - and I had went to the Dr and got some pain pills and steroids - and one of them or the combo made me VERY sick. I throw up a whole lot and had the worst head ache ever. I stopped both pills cause I could not take any more of feeling that miserable. So like I said this year should be better - even if we will be spending a majority of the day at the oncology place getting chemo. See ya'll tomorrow. :O)

A Helpful Link

Last week I shared how my sister and I went to a Look Good Feel Better make up class. Well they had a very nice folder with some great booklets in it. When it was time to go - I accidentally ended up walking out of there without it. I was very disappointed. We had gotten some great tips and some of the things - like the eye brows will be things that I will need one of these days but have not have a chance to practice what we learned because I basically still have my eye brows - although they are thinning.  So today I was trying to find out what I could do to get another book and I happened across their website. And I was happy to find that they have a whole area that tells great make up tips and also has videos. So below you will find the link to their website.

Even though you guys are not going through chemo - you can still find some great tips here. And also keep this website in mind just in case you know of any ladies going through chemo. It is a great opportunity. When life has handed you so many lemons - it is nice to have a little lemonade every so often. A refreshing experience is what it was for me. And I hope for any other ladies going through chemo. Here is their website: Look Good Feel Better

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Support Groups?

So I have found a little problem with the kind of cancer that I have. I have looked on the internet for support groups. I was actually looking for some support groups in my area but have not found a list of that kind of a support group yet. But what I have found are online support groups for ovarian cancer and breast cancer, but I am not finding ones for endometrial/uterine cancer.

I don't know for sure why - I guess it's because normally it hits post menopausal women and when it does - the symptoms raise a red flag and they get to the Dr and get it checked out early enough that the only treatment that they need is a hysterectomy. So for those of us that are pre menopausal - we are the ones that end up having it hit and missing it till it is past - just having a hysterectomy. And there just must not be very many of us - cause like I said- I am having a problem finding support groups.

So if you have ovarian cancer or breast cancer or the like - you can find some great support groups - online at least. So that is a good thing - I just wish there were more things to help encourage ladies with my kind of cancer.

Unexpected Happenings

It's a good thing that I have learned to hold my plans loosely, because my plans just got put on hold.
I had a list of errands I wanted to run today. I had decided to wait a bit till it warmed up - which meant that I would eat lunch and then run my errands. Well as I was walking to sit down to eat- I heard a loud boom! I looked out the front windows to see if I could see a wreck. Cars were headed North pretty quickly so I went to a window that I could see down the road towards the south. Did not see anything so I was fixing to walk back to eat my lunch when I noticed a lot of dust coming across our driveway - towards the north. I decided to go out front to see if I could see anything. And that is when I saw it:
 A vehicle had hit the house next door to us! It seems that everyone is alright.
My son came by to make sure everything was alright and he took these great photos so we could really see what was going on.

It looks like I will have to divide my list into half and do half today and half tomorrow. Well maybe not cause I have to get my meds and that will take driving to a larger town nearby and if I am already that far - I might as well get the other stuff done. We will see.
You just never know what is going to happen...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

It's Been Cold Here...

It's been cold here today. Most of the day was below freezing about 28 degrees. There was sleet and chances of icy conditions on the roads, so I stayed home all day. No need to get out in that kind of weather.

I have been feeling pretty good today. I was able to get quite a bit of things done around here and that felt good. I have a list of things I really want to get done this week. Since this is my good week - the week that I will have the most energy. It is the best time to get things done- that way next week I will be able to relax more.

Tomorrow the temps are suppose to get up to about 50 degrees. I am thankful for that because I have a LOT of errands to run. I have my list already written out - so I don't forget anything. As the week progresses - the temps will increase - and it will be 60-70 degrees through at least Tuesday area. I am thankful for the beautiful weather, but it is kind of sad that it is going to be on my rough week- I want that nice weather when I feel good and can get out and walk. I might have to see what I can do. I need the exercise, fresh air, and sunshine. All these things are so good for me and it will help me sleep better and it will help with the meds induced constipation that I struggle with, especially during week one and even into week two.

Then Thursday I have a list of things that I want to get done around the house- getting prepared for Friday.

Anyway I just wanted to check in and let you all know that I am doing well. I don't always have something interesting to share - but wanted to check in. Hope your all doing good. :O)

Monday, February 10, 2014

Me and My Big Mouth

Ok -so during the week end after my last chemo - after I took a shower - I applied some Neutrogena bath oil to my skin. While I was doing so I noticed on the inside of my elbows- towards my hands and towards my under arm were red and a little puffy. Well I thought that maybe it was a rash from chemo. So when I talked to my oncology nurse later in the week - I mentioned it to her. She said that the Dr would probably want me to take steroids the before chemo the next time to try to prevent an allergic reaction. Well after I thought about it - I realized what really probably happened.

I have had issues with dryness on my elbows since the hysterectomy. And I am guessing that the dryness had spread and then by putting the oil on it - it really stood out. Well I called and talked to the nurse about it and she said she would have to talk to Dr Street about it and get back with me.

This morning I got a call from the nurse- and guess what? Just what I figured - I will have to take steroids the day before, the day of and the day after chemo. Oh man.... did that make me feel down. She had said that when I took them that I probably would not like them cause it make it harder to sleep- well I am already having problems with sleeping. I do NOT need anything else to make it harder.

I had awaken this morning feeling happy and joyful. It is so much easier to feel that way on week 3 of the chemo cycle. I have to be honest - I do have times of feeling sorry for my self and having mini pity parties for myself. Especially during week 1. Week two gets a little easier and there is not as much of those down feelings- still have some but not as bad. So I was discourage to get this phone call and realize I would have to take the steroids -starting on Thursday.

After a while - I was thinking about it all again and I was reminded that God IS in control and that - maybe just maybe I needed to take the steroids - that without them maybe I would have a bad reaction and I do not want that to happen. So I am giving this to God and I am going to trust that He is in control. Later in the week I will go pick up my prescription and I will take my pills as directed- 2 a day on the day before, the day of and the day after chemo.

I hope you all are doing well. Our weather here is cold - and we actually have a chance of freezing rain/sleet tomorrow. I am praying that it is not bad cause I do not like my family to have to drive on that stuff. Ya'll try to stay warm.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

My Look Good Feel Better Class

Last week, I had been reading some cancer blogs. I had come across one who had said she had gone to a Look Good Feel Better class. That got my attention, since I was scheduled to go to one later in the week. She went on to say that she left the class discouraged and depressed and if that was what it would be like to get together with other people with cancer -she was not interested. Apparently a lot of the people at this class talked negatively about their prognosis and so it was a lot of gloomy talk.

Well I could have become discouraged myself and decided not to go based on one person's opinion, but thankfully I have learned that just because one person has a bad experience - does not mean that it is always that way.

Thankfully the weather worked out not being too bad. We hit snow a couple of times on our way there and back but nothing stuck and the roads were basically safe. My sister took me to the class. She was very sweet and bought us breakfast at a cool breakfast place. Then it was time to get to the class.

When we found where we were going - I was surprised to find out that I was suppose to RSVP. Well the e-mail I got from a lady with The American Cancer Society - said that she would sign me up for the class..period. Nothing else. I had no idea I was suppose to RSVP. Well the lady signing people in took pity on me - since 2 people had canceled and since she had an extra make up kit - in medium for me.

We found a seat and got settled. After a few minutes it was time to start.

We had a lady who had been working in cosmetology for 30 years. Her name was Alice. Alice was very nice. She had so many wonderful tips. I learned a lot of things that I had not known before.

Here is a photo of the make up and stuff that I got. The photo does not show - a 10 pack of make up remover cloths, a moisturizer, and the lipstick... oops - I really thought I had it all out when I took the photo.

 The only problem I had was that my kit did not come with a brush to put the blush on. So we were told we could remove all of our make up and apply it along the way or just sit back and watch- I decided to participate.
It was a little intimidating at times because this lady was so good at putting on make up she said her husband said she could put it on in the I am not that good - especially with applying make up in a new way - I have not used eye shadow in a long time and she had shared with us how to do it and some of it was hard for me to apply on each side evenly. I do ok on the right side - cause I am right handed - but not the left side -that is more challenging.
The lipstick was pinker than what I usually wear- usually I wear like a raisin color- well raisin is a part of the name of the lipstick that I get. It is just a darker color. But believe I or not it looks pretty good on it.
They ended up serving some soup, salad, desert and tea. I had no idea that a meal was going to be part of it. And then there was a nutritionist there and she had a short meeting.
I was so glad that I went. I learned things that I wish I had have known all along. It was well worth the time. Oh and by the way - no one really talked about their cancer or any negative talk at all. So I am so very glad that I had given the class a chance. It was very much worth my time.
This week end I have been doing pretty good.
I got a call from a family member- they said they were worried about me because I had not posted anything on my blog or facebook. They thought that I had been feeling sorry for myself. - just busy. My sister had given me some clothes so I had to go through the clothes and then since my sister has long some weight - I decided to go through my clothes and see if there was anything that was not feeling me as good and send it to her. So there for a while my bed was full of piles of clothes that my sister had given me - that were going to another friend of mine, a pile for my sister and then the clothes that fit good and would go back into my closet.
By the way, Here is me - with my new make-up. Oh I have a little more to learn on application. But I am very happy to be headed in the right direction. :O)

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Roads Please Stay Clear So I Can Go.....

Just checking in for a minute. Tomorrow morning I have a class - Look Good, Feel Better that the American Cancer Society puts on - to go to. And my sister is going to take me - she is going to take me out for breakfast before the class. Anyway our area got some snow today and might get some more tonight. Please be in prayer that the roads will stay clear from where we live to where we are going. I have been looking forward to this class for a couple of weeks. And have not had a chance to spend time with my sister in quite some time. It will be nice to get out and be able to visit and have a fun day. We might even hit up a favorite thrift shop afterwards if I have enough energy!
Hope you all are doing well.
I am feeling better today - I took my vitamins today and then had 2 envelopes of my Emergen C stuff. I also stayed inside out of the frigid weather. Anyway I am in a better state of mind. I also reminded myself today that it is ok to have a down/emotional day every once in a while. I had a hysterectomy almost 3 months ago and someone just going through that and being forced into menopause is going to have bad days and then add the big C word on top of that - it is bound to happen. I just don't need to stay there. And I did not. Today I choose to be happy. :o) 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Long List .... Little Energy

Well this is my Nadir part of my chemo treatment. That means that my immune system is at it's lowest point. Well I will tell you what - I could sure feel it today.

I woke up and actually felt like I would get quite a bit done. I even wrote a list of the stuff I wanted to get done. As the day progressed - I realized that my high hopes - would only be hopes. That I would need to focus my energies towards things like the basics and making meals and dishes.

I also had a pretty emotional day. The emotional part hit before my tiredness kicked in.

I found out that my CA125 number came down 1 point. Which is good - if it keeps up at this rate it might be at 0 by the end of treatment. Only wonder if my numbers had started out higher that 1 point would be kind of sad considering all the hassle it has taken to get it down that little amount. My husband says that maybe if the numbers were higher then a high percent would go down each time. I don't know - I am just glad it went down.

I found out that I might have to start taking steroids the day before, the day of and the day after chemo- due to a rash that I got. I am watching the area to make sure it was a rash and not just dry skin. I sure hope so cause the nurse said taking the steroids make it hard to sleep at night so I probably would not like taking them. Well I am having a hard enough time sleeping at night as it is. Last night I woke up at 2:30am to use the bathroom and could not get back to sleep for over an hour maybe a bit more. That can really attribute to being so tired today.

I also told her about my hands and feet still feeling tingly and some numbness- also that my feet have been hurting and that the tingling feeling goes into my calves. She said that was not good - so when I came in for Chemo next week to be sure and remind them of that. Neuropathy is a scary thing - if it was just temporary that would be one thing but there is no guarantee that the feeling will come back. And that is scary to me.

I also asked about how my other numbers were looking on the test - and she said everything looked good. Of course, those numbers would not look so good right now - since we are at the Nardir area - so those numbers would be lower. I am still trying to take good care of myself so that I can stay as healthy as possible.

A friend shared something with me yesterday - and I hope she is right. She said that when she saw me 2 weeks ago that I looked better than I had been. My coloring looked better. I had read one a Cancer support group page someone had said that someone they knew that had cancer looked a lot healthier now at the end of chemo then they did at the beginning. Well when my friend told me that I remembered how I had looked in the mirror - BC(before cancer) and had noticed I just did not look good. I had just marked it up to all the stress I had been under. But now I am thinking that it was the cancer that had my body down and my body was working on fighting it and so that was why I my coloring was off and my hair seemed not as healthy too. Anyway I am so happy to be on the way to better health. Making better choices and giving up the addiction of caffeine - I can not wait till the treatments are behind me.

Oh one more thing - about 4pm when my husband got home- I had been down- in fact kind of discouraged. He brought the mail in - and in it was a card from a good friend. She shared with me a verse that she has been working on memorizing :

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
John 1:5 ESV
She pointed out that the cancer was indeed darkness- but that Jesus is not overcome by the darkness. Jesus is stronger than the enemy! Praise the Lord!!
"Put your trust in Jesus- You couldn't be in better hands!"
My friend said she was praying for me. I about started to cry. I told my husband- it is just one more sign that God knows I was having a bad day and He sent some encouragement. I am so thankful for all the encouragement along the way.

I hope that I am able to be of encouragement to others as well.

May God bless each and everyone of you. And know that I pray for you all. Sometimes even more than once a day. If I am having a problem sleeping at night - I stay in bed and I pray for everyone I can think to pray for. In this world we need all the prayers we can get. :o)

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

New and Unimproved...But Wait...

In order to better understand the "Adventure" that I am on - I have spent some time over the last week or so reading on Cancer Support Group websites. I have learned so much. Some of what I learned(maybe more than some) was not very good. In fact- I told my husband that some of the people had said that they were different than they were before cancer. That they still have issues with remembering words and things, some shared how they still did not have feelings in their hands and/or feet- and this was months after chemo was over. So I had said - ok so I will be - New and Unimproved.... then I thought no - because God is working on me so much that - in the worlds eyes- I might be unimproved - maybe even worse for ware - but in the eyes of my loving heavenly Father - I will be the New and Improved - Me... the one He meant for me to least closer to who He meant me to be.  
The devotional in my "Streams in the Desert" book today - spoke on this very topic. And since it said it so much better than I could explain - I thought I would share it too. Enjoy!!!
I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth
Isaiah 58:14

Those who fly through the air in airships tell us that one of the first rules they learn is to turn their ship toward the wind, and fly against it. The wind lifts the ship up to higher heights. Where did they learn that? They learned it from the birds. If a bird is flying for pleasure, it goes with the wind. But if the bird meets danger, it turns right around and faces the wind, in order that it may rise higher; and it flies away towards the very sun.
Sufferings are God's winds, His contrary winds, sometimes His strong winds. They are God's hurricanes, but, they take human life and lift it to higher levels and toward God's heavens.
You have seen in the summer time a day when the atmosphere was so oppressive that you could hardly breathe? But a cloud appeared on the western horizon and that cloud grew larger and threw out rich blessing for the world. The storm rose, lightning flashed and thunder pealed. The storm covered the world, and the atmosphere was cleansed; new life was in the air, and the world was changed.
Human life is worked out according to exactly the same principle. When the storm breaks the atmosphere is changed, clarified, filled with new life; and a part of heaven is brought down to earth.

Obstacles ought to set us singing. The wind finds voice, not when rushing across the open sea, but when hindered by the outstretched arms of the pine trees, or broken by the fine strings of an Aeolian harp. Then it has songs of power and beauty. Set your freed soul sweeping across the obstacles of life, through grim forests of pain, against even the tiny hindrances and frets that love uses, and it, too, will find its singing voice.

Be like a bird that, halting in its flight,
Rests on a bough too slight.
And feeling it give way beneath him sings,
Knowing he hath wings.

Monday, February 3, 2014

To Whom is Your Soul Committed?

From my devotional "Streams in the Desert" for today:
And immediately the Spirit driveth him into the wilderness  Mark 1:12
It seemed a strange proof of Divine favor. "Immediately." Immediately after what? After the opened heavens and the dove-like peace and the voice of the Father's blessing, "Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." It is no abnormal experience.
Thou, too, hast passed through it, O my soul. Are not the times of thy deepest depression just the moments that follow thy loftiest flight? Yesterday thou wert soaring far in the firmament, and singing in the radiance of the morn; today thy wings are folded and thy song silent. At noon thou wert basking in the sunshine of a Father's smile; at eve thou art saying in the wilderness, "My way is hid from the Lord."
Nay, but, my soul, the very suddenness of the change is a proof that it is not revolutionary. Hast thou weighed the comfort of that word "immediately"? Why does it come so soon after the blessing? Just to show that it is the sequel to the blessing. God shines on thee to make thee fit for life's desert-places--for  its Gethsemanes, for its Calvaries. He lifts thee up that He may give thee strength to go further down; He illuminates thee that He may send thee into the night, that He may make thee a help to the helpless.
Not at all times art thou worthy of the wilderness; thou art only worthy of the wilderness after the splendors of Jordan. Nothing but the Son's vision can fit thee for the Spirit's burden; only the glory of the baptism can support the hunger of the desert.
--George Matheson
After benediction comes battle.
I especially like this last part:
The time of testing that marks and mightily enriches a soul's spiritual career is no ordinary one, but a period when all hell seems let loose, a period when we realize our souls are brought into a net, when we know that God is permitting us to be in the devil's hand. But it is a period which always ends in certain triumph for those who have committed the keeping of their souls to Him, a period of marvelous "nevertheless afterward" of abundant usefulness, the sixty-fold that surely follows.
--Aphra White

One of My Favorite Things

So ever so often I like to do a post to share about a favorite thing.

And luck would have it I have found another favorite thing.
I think I have shared before how I like to use - Airborne - or Walmart's brand of Airborne type stuff to help keep me from getting sick. Well I have had to pay about $5.50 or so for 10 tablets that dissolve in water.

A friend of mine told me about this stuff - Emergen-C
Pink Lemonade flavor! It is pretty good stuff. And guess what?
This box that has 30 envelopes costs less than $10.00. I am thinking it was like $8.97 or something like that. Anyway you can tell it is a much better deal!!
I have compared the ingredients and the ingredient do not match up. They each have their own way of being made but both seem to be very helpful. Anyway I am glad I made this discovery- well I am glad that my friend told me about it because I had tried some a while back(a different flavor) and it was not good.
Anyway so that is one of my favorite things for this week. :o)

Sunday, February 2, 2014

When Reading the Bible...

Something floating around Facebook- I thought that it was really cool and wanted to share - Just in case some of you have not had a chance to see it. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. On Friday our temps were in the mid to upper 70's and now today - it is sitting at 33* and rainy/snowy. So it is definitely a day to stay in doors. Ya'll stay warm. :o)