It's How Much???

My husband found a really good deal on one of the older ipads - since they have come out with newer versions. Anyway - so on it he had put a e-mail account that we don't use very often but for some reason our health insurance e-mails was going to it. So I had tried last night to log into our account from the ipad and could figure out what the combo was. Today I tried from our computer and was able to get in. Then I began to look through everything - and I was blown over by the prices of my chemo and apts. I mean seriously blown over. I also found out that our deductible per person had gone up several hundred dollars... bummer. Anyway back to the cost $$$ of the chemo and such. After finding out how high it is - I am not surprised now to hear people saying that the reason why so many Dr send their patients to chemo is the $$$. And I begin to wonder if it was really necessary that I have chemo and if I am on the right path. Then I think of the way that God has provided for us so far - with some very kind people donating $ to us to help out with the cost and the encouragement that the godly people around me have generously given- one very special thing comes to mind instantly and that is the beautiful afghan that a special friend made me - I will try to post a photo of it later in the week- just too tired to get the camera to download the photo right now.

Anyway so when I got done looking at the $$ and then looking to see why in the world it was so expensive- I was discouraged and depressed. I would really explain it as emotional and sad. I don't like the extra expense that it is causing my family. I don't like having poison pumped into my body and then deal with the after effects - and then to have to put my husbands hard earned money - or money lovingly donated towards it is just not fun at all. And as I thought about why I was feeling so sad and emotional about it, I realized that some of my sadness is that thought of people that don't have good insurance- which then got me to thinking - if I had not had a decent insurance would my Dr have had the same idea as to my treatment? - I know - my thoughts were here and there. My heart goes out to people - when I go for my treatment - there are anywhere from at least 15-35 other people having treatments and that is just one of the week and one oncology place. Anyway - I am praising God that we have insurance, even though our deductible has gone up and even though our out of pocket is pretty high- it is so much better than what it could be so I am choosing to be thankful.

Sorry for kind of a bummer of a post tonight but I thought that it would help me sort out these thoughts to write it out- and a lot of times once you do that - you no longer are carrying those things. And I hope that this is what this will do for me today - that now that I have shared my feelings and thoughts that I will be able to lay down and have a good nights sleep. I have really had a good day. I have accomplished a decent amount of things. I wrote out a list of things I wanted to accomplish today and I got them done plus a few more things. My kitchen is even cleaned up. There have been a few times this past week that I went to bed with dishes in the sink - cause I was just too tired and did not feel like dealing with them. And then the next day I would work on them when I had energy. So I actually have the sink empty and cleaned out! I am so happy to come to the point of having energy to get things done. It feels good. :O)