Trust Me- It Doesn't Help

Today I will be sharing some of my heart with you dear reader in hopes that maybe I can help someone else who may be in my shoes. I think sometimes we say things that really hurt others and cause extra pain and add extra weight to the burden they are already carrying and we may not even know it.

Maybe these stories were told to me before but I don't remember them. Maybe it's because it didn't hit so close to home. But it seems that ever since my husband was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's mostly those who love me feel the need to tell me stories of people with Parkinson's- including all the gory details.

Just this week at the most inopportune time (at a restaurant, in the middle of the meal) my mother in low out of no where began to tell me of a long ago pastor and his poor wife with Parkinson's. We had not been talking about my husband or Parkinson's - it was just totally out of the blue. Almost like a slap to my face, it took my breath away. It took all I could do not to cry. And I couldn't even say anything for fear the tears would start if I did.

She's not the only one, I've had this happen with other loved ones- who I have asked not to tell me the horrible stories - who forget I asked them not to or because they think I need to hear it...continue to share the stories with me....

Do these people thank that I do not know about this disease?

Do they think that they are helping me?

I know plenty about Parkinson's. My husband and I went to a Parkinson's symposium, we sat there (the youngest couple by far) for several hours hearing the brutal facts. I do not need to hear stories of other people I don't even know. I have enough pain dealing with reality. I do not need the extra burden of what I might be dealing with in the future. When the fears creep in, I try to turn them over to God. He is in control.

If you know someone dealing with a painful diagnosis or their loved one is, please think twice before sharing scary stories with them. Because truthfully all that does is causes fear- and where does fear come from? It doesn't come from God.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

II Timothy 1:7

 

I choose to claim the verse in Deuteronomy:

 

"As your days, so shall your strength be."

Deuteronomy 33:25b

 

 



This was true for me during the cancer "adventure" I went through and many times before and since. I believe God will continue to get me through each day. It doesn't mean it'll all be easy- don't I already know that, but I continue to trust in God.

So please think twice before passing along those unpleasant experiences. Instead think of uplifting and encouraging things you can share with those you may think are in denial - because they are probably carrying around more pain than you realize. And those sad stories don't help.

 

When trying to decide what to say - this is a very good verse to consider:

 

8Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8

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Come back next week when I will be sharing a post about  ~what would Jesus do

 



The Theme for the Week

Have you ever noticed that sometimes there seems to be a certain theme of what God is working with you on? I have noticed that over the last week. I have known that this was something that I needed to learn but there seems to be more and more of it lately in what my devotions are telling me and then when I start doing further study it just keeps popping up.

So to be honest with you all (and I don't think this is the first time that I have admitted to this) over the last 9 months or so - I have struggled with the idea that maybe God does not love me. You know sometimes when we have bad things come into our lives it tends to be harder to trust that God still loves you.

Early on in this Cancer "adventure" - a dear family member was telling me her cancer scare. Here are the basics. When she went in for a well woman exam - a very aggressive cancer cell showed up. In fact, the Dr said that the best thing for her to do would be to have a hysterectomy - and as soon as possible. The surgery was done and no cancer showed up. The Dr. told her "Someone upstairs must really love you!" And as I heard the story instantly what popped into my head was - well then he doesn't love me because not only did they find the aggressive cancer - but it had grown enough to have to go forward with chemo.

Over all I believed that God loved me - but I went through bouts of feeling unloved by Him. Another area that I have struggled with is in the area of believing God's promises. Sometimes I just question if the promises were meant for me- or just to the people in the Bible - for example

"As your days, so shall your strength be"

 Deut. 33:25b

    Now this is the blessing with which Moses the man of God

 blessed the children of Israel before his death.

Deut. 33:1

So as you can see this chapter is about the blessing that Moses blessed the children of Israel before his death. So I had a hard time at first claiming this blessing for myself. But it has been a mainstay of versus that have tremendously helped me over the past year - and not only me - but I have shared this verse with MANY people.

Over this past week - my studies in the Bible took me to:

    and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. 22 And therefore "it was accounted to him for righteousness."

 Romans 4:21-22

 

And as I was looking in my commentary to dig deeper - I came across some information that made me stop in my tracks. I knew that this was an important lesson for me to FINALLY get.

 

"Abraham gave glory to God by his firm confidence in God's promises. Thus he acknowledged God's omnipotence. In this way all who believe in the divine promises do honor to God. They bear testimony that God is worthy of confidence. Abraham also gave glory o God in action as well as in thought by his prompt obedience.(Gen. 17:22,23)"

 

"Real faith means conviction. The life of faith is a life of confidence and assurance. Thus Paul could say, "I know whom  have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day" (2 Tim.1:12) It is an error to suppose that lack of such conviction is an evidence of humility. On the contrary, to doubt God's promises or His love is to dishonor Him, because to doubt is to question His character and His word. It is harder for many to believe that God can love and forgive them, notwithstanding their sinfulness, that it was for the aged patriarch to believe that he would be the father of many nations. But confidence in God that He can do what seems to us impossible is as necessary in the one case as in the other."

 

"Abraham's knowledge of God and trust in God were such that the patriarch was ready to accept all that God said and to obey all that God commanded."  

 

This really convicted me - that I need to have faith in God's love and in His promises.

 

So the theme of my week is:

Trust God's Love for YOU

And

You Can Trust His Promises!

 

And these truths are true for you as well. :O)

 

 

Me and My Big Mouth

Ok -so during the week end after my last chemo - after I took a shower - I applied some Neutrogena bath oil to my skin. While I was doing so I noticed on the inside of my elbows- towards my hands and towards my under arm were red and a little puffy. Well I thought that maybe it was a rash from chemo. So when I talked to my oncology nurse later in the week - I mentioned it to her. She said that the Dr would probably want me to take steroids the before chemo the next time to try to prevent an allergic reaction. Well after I thought about it - I realized what really probably happened.

I have had issues with dryness on my elbows since the hysterectomy. And I am guessing that the dryness had spread and then by putting the oil on it - it really stood out. Well I called and talked to the nurse about it and she said she would have to talk to Dr Street about it and get back with me.

This morning I got a call from the nurse- and guess what? Just what I figured - I will have to take steroids the day before, the day of and the day after chemo. Oh man.... did that make me feel down. She had said that when I took them that I probably would not like them cause it make it harder to sleep- well I am already having problems with sleeping. I do NOT need anything else to make it harder.

I had awaken this morning feeling happy and joyful. It is so much easier to feel that way on week 3 of the chemo cycle. I have to be honest - I do have times of feeling sorry for my self and having mini pity parties for myself. Especially during week 1. Week two gets a little easier and there is not as much of those down feelings- still have some but not as bad. So I was discourage to get this phone call and realize I would have to take the steroids -starting on Thursday.

After a while - I was thinking about it all again and I was reminded that God IS in control and that - maybe just maybe I needed to take the steroids - that without them maybe I would have a bad reaction and I do not want that to happen. So I am giving this to God and I am going to trust that He is in control. Later in the week I will go pick up my prescription and I will take my pills as directed- 2 a day on the day before, the day of and the day after chemo.

I hope you all are doing well. Our weather here is cold - and we actually have a chance of freezing rain/sleet tomorrow. I am praying that it is not bad cause I do not like my family to have to drive on that stuff. Ya'll try to stay warm.

Reading Corner

Today I wanted to share the book that I am reading. It is an excellent book written by Timothy R. Jennings. The name of the book is "The God-Shaped Brain- How Changing Your View of God Transforms Your Life."

 

Because of the adversary spoken of in 1 Peter 5:8 - is always roaming about like a lion and seeking to devour he is always trying to skew our understanding of who God is and what He is like, because of this many of us have a distorted idea of who God really is. And these lies that we have come to believe really do change the way our brains work. When we are able to come to a better understanding of who God really is - our brains begin to heal and function more in the way that God created us to be.

Where I got this book and this photo-at Amazon. If you would like to check out more about this book - click on Amazon. And No- I was not asked to do this review and No- I do not benefit at all for you clicking over to Amazon. I just wanted to give you a chance to check this book out. It is a great book and worth the read!

If you click on "Amazon" above - you will be taken to the page that tells about this book and you can actually check out a good amount of this book - before you even buy it. Trust me it is worth checking out.

God is a God of Love and when we understand who He really is we are able to love more fully as a result. I hope that this blesses you as much as it blessed me. God bless.
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(Again this is the second post for today - don't miss the poem I posted earlier - It give you a lot to think about - it did me.)

Safely Committed to Him

"The time of testing that marks and mightily enriches a soul's spiritual career is no ordinary one, but a period when all hell seems let loose, a period when we realize our souls are brought into a net, when we know that God is permitting us to be in the devil's hand. But it is a period which always ends in certain triumph for those who have committed the keeping of their souls to Him, a period of marvelous "nevertheless afterward" of abundant usefulness, the sixty-fold that surely follows."
--Aphra White

After reading the previous quote - I was reminded of these verses in 2 Timothy:

   "For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed,

for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.

13 Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me,

 in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. 14 That good thing which was committed to you,

 keep by the Holy Spirit who dwells in us."

2 Timothy 1:12-14  

 

 

 

The Red Sea Rules #8

Let's Review:

#1. Realize that God means for you to be where you are.
#2. Be more concerned for God's glory than for your relief.
#3. Acknowledge your enemy, but keep your eyes on the Lord.
#4. Pray
#5. Stay Calm and confident, and give God time to work.
#6. When unsure, just take the next logical step by faith.
# 7. Envision God's enveloping presence.

Now # 8
"Trust God to deliver in His own unique way."


"And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided. 22. And the children of Israel went into the midst of the sea upon the dry ground: and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left." Exodus 14:21-22

"Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all. " Psalms 34:19

"He shall deliver thee in six troubles: yea, in seven there shall no evil touch thee."
Job 5:19

"The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:" 2 Peter 2:9

"And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me." Psalms 50:15

I think too often we put God into a box - not realizing that he is so amazing and so powerful! His ways are not our ways. He can find solutions for our problems that we could never find. This is why "Let Go and Let God" is so important. We need to step out of the way and let God work in the way that He wants to work.

"God marks across some of our days, "Will explain later." Vance Havner

John 13:7 says: "Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter."

It was confirmed to me today that God wanted me to post this Red Sea Rule. How..you ask? Well on Facebook this morning a relative of mine posted two great quotes that go along the same line as what this Rule says. So I wanted to share them as well:

‎"No matter what you're worried about, one thing is for sure: You can't possibly know the extraordinary manner by which God is going to work it out. So pray to Him and express your trust in His magnificent ways. There may be much you don't understand about how He's going to help you, but you can be sure He will." Dr. Charles Stanley

‎"There are no formulas with God. The way in which God heals our wound is a deeply personal process." John Eldredge

So it all comes down to TRUST - we need to TRUST God to deliver us in His own unique way.

Encouraging Words

This morning I read a couple of chapters in Prophets and Kings ( the book I am on now) and I came across some awesome quotes that I wanted to share today. These chapters were awesome and if you have a chance - read the whole chapters they are so encouraging. "From Jezreel to Horeb" and "What Doest Thou Here?" Excellent chapters!

"Into the experience of all there come times of keen disappointment and utter discouragement_ days when sorrow is the portion, and it is hard to believe that God is still the kind benefactor of His earthborn children; days when troubles harass the soul, till death seems preferable to life. It is then that many lose their hold on God and are brought into slavery of doubt, the bondage of unbelief. Could we at such times discern with spiritual insight the meaning of Gods providences we should see angels seeking to save us from ourselves, striving to plant our feet upon a foundation more firm than the everlasting hills, and new faith, new life, would spring into being." PK 162

"Hope and courage are essential to perfect service for God. These are the fruit of faith. Despondency is sinful and unreasonable. God is able and willing "more abundantly"(Hebrews 6:17) to bestow upon His servants the strength they need for test and trial. The plans of the enemies of His work may seem to be well laid and firmly established, but God can overthrown the strongest of these. And this He does in His own time and way, when He sees that the faith of His servants has been sufficiently tested.
For the disheartened there is a sure remedy- faith, prayer, work. Faith and activity will impart assurance and satisfaction that will increase day by day. Are you tempted to give way to feelings of anxious foreboding or utter despondency? In the darkest days, when appearances seem most forbidding, fear not. Have faith in God. He knows your need. He has all power, His infinite love and compassion never weary. Fear not that He will fail of fulfilling His promise. He is eternal truth. Never will He change the covenant He has made with those who love Him. And He will bestow upon His faithful servants the measure of efficiency that their need demands. The apostle Paul has testified: "He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for these: for My strength is made perfect in weakness....Therefor I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9,10
Did God forsake Elijah in his hour of trial? Oh, no! He loved His servant no less when Elijah felt himself forsaken of God and man than when, in answer to his prayer fire flashed from heaven and illuminated the mountaintops...." PK 164-166

"Fellow Christian, Satan knows your weakness: therefore cling to Jesus. Abiding in God's love, you may stand every test. The righteousness of Christ alone can give you power to stem the tide of evil that is sweeping over the world. Bring faith into your experience. Faith lightens every burden, relieves every weariness. Providences that are now mysterious you may solve by continues trust in God. Walk by faith in the path He marks out. trials will come, but go forward. This will strengthen your faith and fit you for service. The records of history are written, not merely that we may read and wonder, but that the same faith which wrought in God's servants of old may work in us. In no less marked manner will the Lord work now, wherever there are hearts of faith to be channels of His power.
To us, as to Peter, the word is spoken, "Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: but I have prayed for these, that thy faith fail not." Luke 22:31 Christ will never abandon those for whom He has died...
Could our spiritual vision be quickened, we should see souls bowed under oppression and burdened with grief, pressed as a cart beneath sheaves, and ready to die in discouragement. We should see angels flying quickly to the aid of these tempted ones, forcing back the host of evil that encompass them, and placing their feet on the sure foundation. The battles waging between the two armies are as real as those fought by the armies of this world, and on the issue of the spiritual conflict eternal destinies depend." PK 175-176

"Nothing is apparently more helpless, yet really more invincible, than the soul that feels its nothingness and relies wholly on God." PK 175

There was so much more- but what blessings these words were to my heart - I am hoping they are a blessing to your heart as well. :o)

A Song From the Heart

Yes -I know that I just shared this song - and recently at that. But trust me - I have a reason for sharing it again.
Last night as I was driving home - I was listening to the radio and they were doing a top 10 songs of the week. And as the dj explained something about this song that helped me realize why his song speaks to me SO much.
It seems that just a couple of years ago - Laura Story's husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I think that is what they said. Now that would be scary. And it also tells me that she totally understand some of what I am feeling. And that these words to this song are from her heart. I think those are the best songs - when they come from the heart. Going through rough times really does change you perspective on things. And the good news is that going through those hard times - if we let them will bring us into a closer personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And that is really what it is all about.
As we are at the beginning of a new week - I hope that everyone has a great week!! :o)

A New Favorite Show/ What I Have Learned

"Fat things shouldn't happen to skinny people." a favorite quote from Drop Dead Diva

Good Morning everyone. It has been a while since I have updated my blog. Well I have a good explanation - good to me anyways. I was on Netflix updating our Queue and was looking at what other movies were available - when I came across what I thought was a movie and thought that it looked interesting, so I started watching it. I soon discovered that it is a series. Drop Dead Diva. I love it. What an awesome concept - a skinny actress has an accident and hits the "return" button and is sent back into the body of a plus sized lawyer. Maybe it is because I have always been on the heavy side - well at least since I was 12 or so- maybe was not fat but did not ever feel skinny.
So the idea of a skinny person getting the shock of living in the body of one not so skinny is kind of funny to me. So I loved it so much I had to watch at least a couple more episodes each day. I had my list of things to do and would work hard to get a few things done then it was time to watch another episode!

You know that is a good way to get things done on your list that you really need to get done but just haven't felt like it. Speaking of which, speaking of which - I finally got my fish tank cleaned. We had let it go for a while. I had realized that it needed to be cleaned pretty badly but then we had a fish that was not doing very well and I did not want to stress it out. Anyway it passed away so during one of my breaks - I cleaned the fish tank and have promised myself NOT to let it get in that bad of shape again. It is not that bad of a job - if you do it when you are suppose to and not put it off time after time.

Yesterday I mowed our yard for the first time this season. Part of the front yard really did not need it yet but the part that the aerobic system spray onto had gotten pretty tall and was making the yard look tacky. Anyway it felt good to have the job done and get to enjoy a pretty yard.

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I have shared in the past how I go to a 12 step program that is held at my church - We go by the 12 step books and some others - like "Hunger For Healing" which is a great book - it is about the 12 steps but from a more Christian point of view - none of the referring to God as your Higher Power - or questions of what your Higher Power would be. Anyway yesterday I finally figured out that when I am dealing with food - I am going to have to apply the first three steps.

1.We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

This was kind of hard for me to accept. Because somehow I had the image that those that were powerless over food - were like standing at the refrigerator door gorging on food till they could not eat another bite. And I knew that- was not me. But being powerless over food for me - means that when I crave chocolate- going to get it every time I want it. Or eating when I am not really hunger - those things finally helped me realize that I am powerless over food. I am SO thankful that we have a God who understands us and who loves us so much that we can call on Him when we are powerless over things. And when we can become humble enough to admit our problem- we have so much power available to us - through Jesus Christ.

If you are having a problem with something today- He is there waiting to help you - just ask. :o)

Tears of Joy

Sorry I have not posted for a few days. Life got really busy. Friday I went and got groceries. And while I was at the store - I noticed the price of the Roma tomatoes - usually the cheapest tomatoes that you can buy were only about 97cents just weeks ago but look at them now?

That tells you that prices are going up. The prices of gas and of groceries can really discourage a person. And you have to remind yourself that God is in control. And ask Him to help you make good choices to best use your money.

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Sabbath we took care of our granddaughter - all day(for 10 hours)! This is the longest we have ever taken care of her so we were both kind of nervous about it.

So while my husband went to pick her up - I finished getting ready for church. When he got home - I walked out into the hallway - and at the same time he had SweetPea(granddaughter) walking with help. I got several feet away from her and put my arms out for her and he let go of her and she took some wobbly steps towards me. Let me tell you what - I totally understand what the phrase "tears of joy" mean now. I almost started to cry. It was so neat to see her walking. It just made my day!! My husband was as touched by it as well - since he had not seen her walk before either.

My husband was also happy because he was able to take her to Sabbath School. He loves to take her to Sabbath School and she loves to go. She loves all the songs to Jesus and doing all the cute little activities that the dedicated teachers come up with. We took her by to see Jason's Mom because it was very cold outside and we figured once we got her home we would not get her back out into that cold wind and because the store that my MIL owns is just up the street from our church.

We were even able to get our granddaughter to take a nap- only about an hour but that is about what she normally takes.

Once SweetPea's Daddy picked her up - I got things picked up and did my few chores for the evening. And then we settled in to watch a movie, "The Tooth Fairy" with The Rock. It was a cute movie an we enjoyed it. It was so luxurious to be able to just sit and watch the movie and enjoy it!

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Today we are hoping that it warms up a bit since we really would like to go get some sand and peat moss and such to add to our garden area. Our soil is so clay like - we really need to add somethings to it to help it be healthier soil and easier to work with. It will cost some money but this is an investment - because each year it will be in better shape and able to help us produce some food for ourselves. And with our economy being the way it is - I think that is a great investment.

I hope you all have a great day! :o)

That We Might Have Hope

We lived in 890 square foot home when the boys were much younger. It had two bedrooms and 1 bathroom. We had put the boys in the master bedroom and took the smaller bedroom - that had a closet off of it that had our washer in dryer in it. We had electric heat but we also had a couple of gas stoves - Deer borne heaters I believe is what they are called. Here is basically what they looked like:

Well I had dropped off my oldest son at school - he only went half a day at that time. Well it was very cold when we got home so I started the gas heaters. It helped get the house warmer- faster and gas was cheaper than electricity at the time.

I would use a long match to start these heaters. My boys used to think it was fun to then blow out the match and then I would let them take the match to the toilet and dip it in, to cool it off and then put the match into the trash can.

So I started the fire and then let my youngest blow out the match and he went to dip it and throw it away - so I thought. Well I had went to the kitchen because I was trying to get something made. The next thing I know my son is coming to the kitchen to tell me something. I can tell it is important but my son was young and due to a sickness when he was a baby, had a bad speech impediment. He pointed towards the living room and I told him to show me what he was trying to tell me. We walk into the living room and there it was a fire on the middle cushion of the couch.

I ran to the bathroom and dumped the contents of the trash can onto the floor and turned on the bathtub and filled it up and went to put the fire out. But to my surprise instead of putting the fire out it swished the fire from the cushion, up the back of the couch and to the back of the couch. (Now I know if I had have just picked up the cushion and taken it outside would have prevented what happened next - but then again it could have caught me on fire and have been a worse outcome- I don't know) Anyway I told my son to go to the front yard and get the water hose - while I ran and got the cordless phone so I could call the fire dept. and my husband. While I am talking on the phone I am doing my best to use the water hose keep the fire from spreading to much more.

When the firemen got there one of them asked me where the keys to my car were and one climbed the fence and got my purse and he asked me to move the car - so I got my son in the car and pulled my car back into the driveway of the house across the street. By that time another fire truck came and ended up blocking my view. The last thing I heard before I moved the car was that they thought that the fire was in the attic and that it might be a loss. (Just writing this brings tears to my eyes)

My husband got there not too much later. And once he went and checked things out- he informed me that they had gotten the fire out. Praise the Lord! We did not have any insurance on the contents of the house and everything we had was in that house. What is so sad is that the nicest things we had were in that living room that burned. We had a new living room set that my in laws had bought for us - because our furniture was in such bad shape. It was a great set from Montgomery Wards. Even though they picked it out - we loved this set. We also had a great table that was given to us by my in laws - when they got a brand new set.

This is where the fire began - the firemen had carried it to the front yard. Oh and look - we had snow. This was a nice hideaway bed couch too.

These pictures probably do not even do the damage done justice, but it will give you an idea. We stayed with my in laws for a few days but figured out really quick that we did not want to stay there long term and that is what would have happened because it took quite a while to get the house fixed up again. So even though our living room was not livable- we moved back to our house and slowly started to do the clean up ourselves.

In the background of the photo above you can see the love seat - we were hoping to salvage it but the fabric has been melted and was not comfortable to sit on. We used it for a while though.


This photo above shows that we had to put blankets up to cover the holes in the ceiling - trying to keep the cold air out.

This photo below shows going into the kitchen. There was smoke damage all the way through the house.

This was a very difficult time for us. But in the end God worked it all out for us. By some new carpet in the living room and hallway, and the living room was totally re-sheet rocked. We had a lot of painting to do and we - my husband and his mother re-did the wall paper in the kitchen and in bathroom.

The reason I share this story is because I heard this Bible verse:

"For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, so that we through patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope." Romans 15:4

~ in a sermon recently. And it really spoke to me. And then when I was going though a drawer yesterday - I came across these photos and it reminded me that when we are having difficult times,if we can think back to the times that God has worked things out in our past - then it helps give us hope for today and tomorrow. :o)

My Closet is Getting More Sparse

I hope that everyone is doing good. Things here are going pretty good. We actually have had a little bit more sun the last couple of days, which I have been very thankful for.

This morning I spent some time going through my closet. I have periodically went through certain things and gotten rid of things that were too big. I have gotten rid of quite a bit of stuff. This morning I went through my church clothes and weeded out all the things that were too big. I took a few bags to a local small thrift shop. I am hoping that someone that really need them is able to get them. This thrift store has some really cheap prices. They are only open a couple of hours a couple days a week. I am hoping to make it there sometime in the next week or so to check out what they have. Maybe someone else has been blessing them with clothes that would fit me.

So now that I have gone through my church clothes and gotten rid of stuff - I am noticing that my closet has less and less clothes. And truthfully I did not need as many clothes as I had - that is for sure. There have been times that I used to buy things out of desperation - like I need the clothes and I don't buy this I may not have anything to wear. There also was a time that I would have just boxed up clothes and saved them just in case I gained weight. But this time I am not even leaving that an option. What I am doing is a life style. I am learning a better way to eat. Moderation is what it is all about. Not depriving myself of things that I would want. No - that would only cause me to feel deprived and not happy. And many times when I did that - I would end up eating all sorts of things trying to fill that want - only later to actually eat what I really want to begin with.

I am thrilled to report that it has been over 4 months since I have had a soda. I am one pound away from losing 40 pound and that is since Sept 1st, 2010. If someone had of told me 6 months ago that I would actually lose that much weight in that amount of time period - I would not have believed them at all. In fact Dr. B told us that we would be surprised of how much easier it would be to lose weight - and I did not believe him at all. I just felt pressure and thought there is no way - that might work for others but Dr. B does not realize how hard of a time I have losing weight. I shared before about how I had worked hard for 1 year and had lost 52 pounds - but I am telling you I worked hard for it. This time I allowed God to be in charge and let Him fix the things inside of me that not only held onto the clothes but also held onto the fat. I am learning to let go - learning to let God.

God's Provisions

I hope that you all have had a very nice Christmas and that you were able to spend it with loved ones. Our Christmas has been very nice. It has been relaxing and restful. It has been such a different experience than in years past.

Last night I was telling my husband how sad I was that for so many years I worked so hard at the bakery that I did not have the energy to make holidays really special for my family. I did not have the time to set up good traditional things. So we were talking about some traditions that I would like to start now. And I am still thinking of some things that would be good traditions.

Yesterday while I was wrapping presents, I was looking for a box. As I was looking for a box - I remembered that my husband had bought me a pair of tennis shoes just a month ago. With working at the bakery - I walked on concrete floors a lot and it would hurt my feet. So he had bought me a new pair of shoes so that if I needed them around the holiday baking. I was so happy. Then a little bit later - my husband was looking for another box and guess what he found? ....A box that had a brand new pair of tennis shoes for him! Yep- These shoes had been bought several months ago and were forgotten about. What is so cool is that he had told me just before the surgery that he would probably need a new pair of tennis shoes by the time he went back to work. And now that I am not working and we have a couple of medical bills - things have felt a bit tight. And I have worried a bit about it. But it was such a blessing to realize that we each had a new pair of shoes and so that is one area that we do not have to worry about. What a blessing - a special blessing from God!

And if that was not thrilling enough - earlier in the same day - I am working on getting some wood that we had stacked in our garage and as I was working there - I noticed some boxes. And I pulled a box down and realized that they were boxes of some of my smaller clothes. What is sad is that I tried on a few pairs of the pants and they were already way too big. I did find a night gown that fits me great right now. And filled a need that I had. I was going to just use the one I had as long as I could. I found a winter robe - to big for me now. And some summer stuff - the only problem is that the shorts fit now. So I am not sure if they will be useful at summer time. But if not - they will help my sister. And some of the other stuff - I will be finding someone who needs the things to give them too.

Anyway by the end of the day - I sure felt like God is really truly in control. He knows what we will need and he provides. Sometimes it is in weird ways like - us buying things and forgetting that we had bought them..but all in all it is still God providing. And for us - we got a real laugh out of yesterdays provisions! :o)

In the Hands of God

Well Good Morning my friends~
Lately it has been hard to stay on my new schedule that was working pretty well. With my husband being home since his back surgery - means no more alarm going of at 4:40am. And to be truthful that is a bit early for me - but I really am thankful that my husband is able to go to work before the morning heavy traffic and is able to come home before the afternoon heavy traffic s0 we go with it in stride. My biggest problem has been getting to bed at a decent time. I think that when my job crumbled away to nothing - really impacted me and it took me a week or so to just deal with it, in the mean time - I stayed up too late and slept too late. Not only that this week has been full of baking and then of course since I was baking I had to have at least one of each treat that I made. My sister and I both have had to deal with extra temptation this week. And yesterday was my families Christmas get together. So my sister and I just decided that - we will get on track tomorrow and so we enjoyed our dinner together. I still have 2 Christmas dinners to get through but I am getting back on track so I think it will work just fine. I had also reminded my sister that many people gain about 5 pounds or so over the holidays, she and I both have lost weight since Thanksgiving so - if we can maintain this week and then get back on track - that will be a success for sure.

So last night I did my best to get to bed earlier than I have been - it was still a tad bit later than I wanted to - but at about 5 am - I woke up and could not go back to sleep. Talk about getting back on track. Anyway I think I will do one of my Leslie Sansome walking tapes in a bit so I can get some exercise. It is suppose to be rainy today so I will probably not get out for a walk later. And I will be making up one of my meals - I am thinking the Coconut Curry with Greens recipe and that way I have a good, healthy food for a few meals. That makes it so much easier for me t0 be able to cook for the family and still have a healthy meal myself.

And look at the verse that I was reminded of:

"Rejoice evermore, pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. " 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

This verse really spoke to me because it talks that this is he will of God and I know that the best place for me - IS in the will of God. And I will be honest - when I stopped feeling sorry for myself because I felt that I had not been appreciated by my MIL and started to pray for her - to have strength to get through the holiday baking(even though the first time or two was difficult and I had to insert in the prayer that I still wanted her to realize how much I did) it has softened my heart and allowed me to look at the positive side of everything. It is so nice to know that even though things do not go according to how you thought they would - that it is the will of God. And when you know that - you can breath easier knowing you are in the hands of God. :o)

God Prepares Us

I am so thankful that God prepares us for hard times. The last couple of days, I have been thinking a little more outside of the box. For example, I was cutting the pieces for one of my Block of the Month blocks and I accidentally cut something wrong and did not have enough of the pink and white swirly fabric that the quilt store had given me. In the past, I would have went back to the quilt shop and bought a fat quarter of that fabric to make those pieces. Well as I thought about it I realized I had a piece of pink fabric - not as pretty by any means but it would work in the block. So I used it instead. Now this only saved me about $2.25 but every little bit helps. Plus I am learning to make do with what I have when I can.

I was reading someones blog a little earlier and they talked about reading the Little House books at Christmas time. And especially "The Long Winter" well I started thinking back to when I read that book(not too long ago) and how this book really had prepare me for this season in my life. It is so reassuring when I realize something like that - because it reminds me that God is in control and nothing surprises Him. He know everything from the beginning all the way down to the end. And He loves us so much that He prepares us for what ever is coming next in our lives.

Now as much as I LOVE the Little House books - I do wish there was one thing different. As I read "The Long Winter" I was surprised at the fact that - there was not very much talk about praying to God or asking Him for help through this super rough period of time. I have shared recently how I have been learning to totally depend upon God. I think it is very important for us to depend on God. When we start relying on ourselves too much- we take our focus off of God and put it on ourselves. Now before you start to think that I have got it all figured out and that I am 100% depending on God - I need to share that this is NOT the case. I know that I should, but I still struggle with it. I still try to take control of my life back over and God has to gently take my hand off of the reigns again. I am so thankful that I can trust my life with God. And that He loves us so much that He prepares us for the next step that we need to take. He does not shine the flashlight very far in advance - only as far as we need it. We are to follow where He leads and trust Him. :o)

Sometimes our past has the keys to our feelings today..

Way back when I was about 9-10 years old, I went on a camping trip with my church. Our church has a youth group called Pathfinders and this was a camporee - where a lot of different clubs got together. I lived in Pecos at the time (this photo is actually the year before - the story I am about to tell, but it gives you an idea.) We were going to stay at the Davis Mountains for our camporee. Well I had packed up my clothes and all and got busy doing something else. Then we got loaded up into our van - photo below.

My sister had ridden up with some other friends and so it was just my Mom, Dad and I. It was a long trip and my Mom and I got tired so we went to the back of the van to rest. My Dad stopped or gas and while he was getting gas - my Mom and I went to the bathroom. Well apparently he did not realize that we had went to the bathroom cause when we came out of the bathroom - he was gone. Well it was getting late and the gas station would be closing soon. There was no way to get a hold of my Dad. And the gas station that we were at was in a bad part of town. Well we went out and sat on the curb. I remember my Mom being really upset and crying and I tried to tell her that Daddy will realize we are not with him and be back soon. Well he did come back. We got to the campsite and low and behold - my suitcase had not made it to the van. So I had ONLY the clothes on my back to wear. Well an old lady from our church said that since she was not too much bigger than me - she would share her clothes with me. I remember feeling dumb wearing old lady clothes that did not smell very good.

So why am I sharing this story today? Well the last couple of days I have been discouraged. I continue to lose weight which is great! I am so thankful to God for giving me the wisdom and knowledge needed to be successful. Anyway so I am making due on my clothes as much as possible - I have bought some things from Goodwill but the more I lose the less clothes I have to wear. And now that I am out of a job - I am feeling discouraged because I don't know if we can afford for me not to work - let alone - go buy clothes. So I have been stressing about this. And God brought the verses that I share earlier with you all about God taking care of our needs. This is a great promise and even though I don't now how He will do it - I am choosing to trust Him. And then this afternoon, I ran to town to take care of an errand and on the way back - I remembered the above story. I remember not having things to wear that I liked and the feelings and then I realized that - that was the fear that I had. I am doing the best I can to bless others with the clothes I no longer need. And I am sure that God will provide what I need - when it is needed.
And God will provide for you as well. :o)

Breathing Easier

I have worked in my MIL's bakery for many years(which a break in there to give me time to get our house ready to sell and to move and get settled.) I have enjoyed my job most of the time. But there were many years that around Thanksgiving and Christmas - things would get tough. With it only being my MIL and myself working there - sometimes it was overwhelming to get the 70-100 pie orders. And there were some mornings( the 2 days before Thanksgiving were the worse) that I would cry because I was so stressed out at how much work we had to do. Well last night I cried but for a different reason.

But in order to get to that part of the story we need to rewind just a bit.
Well yesterday morning, I felt like it was the right time to write my MIL an e-mail to ask her about changing my schedule so that I would not have to be around the cigarette smoke. I had felt that this is what I needed to do for my health. I had realized that there could be some consequences for what I did. I have worked with my MIL long enough to have a feeling of how she would react. But I had hoped that she appreciated what all I did for her and be willing to work with me. Anyway I was a little apprehensive after I sent the e-mail. I then decided that I had turned my life and my will over to God and that I felt like this was what I was suppose to do and that I needed to leave it in His hands.

I went on a good walk with my Mom and then just after my lunch my sister called and asked me what I had planned for the afternoon - I said going to Goodwill with you. Well that was because all of a sudden I realized that it was half price day at Goodwill and she had just told me she was headed home from work. So I drove to her house and we drove to one of the local Goodwills that we don't normally get to go to. We spend a few hours but I ended up with 7 shirts - one for church- for only about $2.00 a piece. And that is a great price to pay for clothes - especially if you do not know if you will be wearing that same size the next winter. I need to go through my closet and try stuff on because I realize that a lot of it is getting to baggy to wear. Anyway I will try to do that later today and then I can replace those items with the ones I just bought.

I did not make it home till a little after 7pm -(I had to stop by pharmacy to get my husbands meds too) and then checked my e-mail- and sure enough there was an e-mail from my MIL. And it seems like I started the week with a job and will end it without one. I was not surprised, but I was hurt. I was hurt because I did not feel appreciated enough for her to work with me. She basically told me to take the next couple of months off. And she never did say that the schedule that I had asked her about would work then. So I figure this was her nice way of ushering me out of there. You know why would I just take a couple of months off. Anyway so I was sad.

But I am still trusting God. And I realize that it is the best thing for me. Because no matter if anyone is smoking there or not -there are enough chemicals in that building from ALL of the smoking that goes on - that it would still be dangerous to be there.

I am so glad that God prepared me for this outcome. I told my MIL to let me know when she wanted me to come back and that there was a chance that I may not be available because if God opens another door - I will have to follow His leading. So sometimes God opens doors and sometimes He closes doors - we just have to learn to trust Him ALL of the time. :o)

* Thanks Judy for the idea for the title of this post :o)

Digging Deeper

Sometimes those of us that have been raise in Christian homes tend to think that we know what is in the Bible. And because of that confidence sometimes we just skim through parts of the Bible. I know I am guilty of this.

In Genesis 1 we read about Creation week, then we get to Genesis 2 and many people including myself just keep reading without pausing to ask ourselves questions like - so Why did God wait to create Eve?

Well first we need to look at verse 17

"But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."

Now we have to remember that Adam is sinless and has never experienced death, so how would he understand what death was?

Next we go to verse 18 of Genesis 2:

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."

So we notice that God said it was not good for man to be alone, but he did not solve that problem right away. In fact, the very next verse goes on to explain how God created all the animals and that he brought them before Adam- So Adam could name them. We notice in the last part of verse 20, "there was not found an help meet for him."

Adam is searching for companionship.

"And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Gen. 2:23

In verse 23 in the Hebrew language it actually says, "At last."

So God solved the problem - the problem of Adam being alone, lonely. And at the same time helped Adam to better understand what death was.

What I really find interesting about this is that God was trying to teach Adam several lessons here, but the one that stands out the most to me is that when we have a problem, God CAN solve it. It may not be in the time frame we'd like or the way we would like the problem solved, but He can solve it. If we will only allow him to.

Many times we try to solve our sin problems with more sin, instead of just letting go and letting God solve the problem for us. He is there just waiting for us to be willing and to ask Him for His help.

May we apply a Biblical solutions to our problems - In Jesus' name. Amen :o)

Unique Journeys

Your journey probably will not look like mine, and mine probably won't look like yours and that's OK. God takes each of us on our own unique journey. And it is our choices that will determine if we stay on the main road or if we have to take detours.

This is a lesson that I have learned lately. I have shared before there is a couple that put on a 12 step type meeting at our church. I have been going to it for about a year or two. It has been helpful to me - to find out what my character defects are. After going to the meetings for a while, I began to feel frustrated - I felt so much pressure. One of the leaders of the meetings would share things that she has learned and how her life is and I would feel like if I did not go in the same route as her - that I must not be making any progress. Well I finally came to the realization that my journey will be different than hers - my life has been different from hers and it continues to be different from hers. I deal with situations totally different than she does and I do not need to feel like I need to be like her. God has a plan for each of our lives and that what I need to do is to submit to His will. And as long as I am allowing God to lead then I will be making the progress that He wants me to be making.

So our journeys will be different but if we are allowing God to lead - then the out come will be the same - we will be in God's will.

"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:" Philippians 1:6

God~You ARE the Boss of Me

Many times we want to be our own boss. This is not something new - it started with the entrance of sin into our world. A very good example of this comes close to the beginning of the Bible. It is the story of Cain and Able. God had asked them to sacrifice a lamb. Well with Cain, being a farmer and not wanting to ask his brother for a lamb, decided that it should not be any problem at all to sacrifice some of this produce. He thought that his way would be just as good as God's way. He did not want to follow God's instruction - he wanted to be his own boss. At the heart of this -is rebellion. Rebellion can get us in all sorts of trouble. It can close our minds so that we are unwilling to do God's will.

I have realized that I have been very rebellious in my life. Last night, I pulled a book out of my bookcase. I had remembered that it had some healthy recipes in it. As I remembered when I got this book, I realized that for many years God had known what was best for me and I had been rebellious - wanting to do it my own way. Wanting to be my own boss. So where did that get me? No where good. I have struggled and struggled. And when I finally turned my life and my will over to God. He was able to finally lead me and be my Boss.

You see about 15 years ago - I went to a Cooking Seminar and learned some awesome things. Well I am sure that it did me some good but I was to stubborn to totally accept what I heard. Then again about 5 years ago or a little longer I went to a different one and learned some more awesome information. I am thankful that I kept the books because they have been excellent resources for me and my sister. I am also so glad that God does not give up. I am glad that he patiently waited for me to finally come to the place of being willing to follow His leading. Oh the years that I have wasted by being rebellious - by wanting to do things my own way. I am willing now to say - God~ You ARE the Boss of Me! :O)

EDITED: To add photos of the two books that I got from the classes that I went to. Just in case anyone is interested.