Long List .... Little Energy

Well this is my Nadir part of my chemo treatment. That means that my immune system is at it's lowest point. Well I will tell you what - I could sure feel it today.

I woke up and actually felt like I would get quite a bit done. I even wrote a list of the stuff I wanted to get done. As the day progressed - I realized that my high hopes - would only be hopes. That I would need to focus my energies towards things like the basics and making meals and dishes.

I also had a pretty emotional day. The emotional part hit before my tiredness kicked in.

I found out that my CA125 number came down 1 point. Which is good - if it keeps up at this rate it might be at 0 by the end of treatment. Only wonder if my numbers had started out higher that 1 point would be kind of sad considering all the hassle it has taken to get it down that little amount. My husband says that maybe if the numbers were higher then a high percent would go down each time. I don't know - I am just glad it went down.

I found out that I might have to start taking steroids the day before, the day of and the day after chemo- due to a rash that I got. I am watching the area to make sure it was a rash and not just dry skin. I sure hope so cause the nurse said taking the steroids make it hard to sleep at night so I probably would not like taking them. Well I am having a hard enough time sleeping at night as it is. Last night I woke up at 2:30am to use the bathroom and could not get back to sleep for over an hour maybe a bit more. That can really attribute to being so tired today.

I also told her about my hands and feet still feeling tingly and some numbness- also that my feet have been hurting and that the tingling feeling goes into my calves. She said that was not good - so when I came in for Chemo next week to be sure and remind them of that. Neuropathy is a scary thing - if it was just temporary that would be one thing but there is no guarantee that the feeling will come back. And that is scary to me.

I also asked about how my other numbers were looking on the test - and she said everything looked good. Of course, those numbers would not look so good right now - since we are at the Nardir area - so those numbers would be lower. I am still trying to take good care of myself so that I can stay as healthy as possible.

A friend shared something with me yesterday - and I hope she is right. She said that when she saw me 2 weeks ago that I looked better than I had been. My coloring looked better. I had read one a Cancer support group page someone had said that someone they knew that had cancer looked a lot healthier now at the end of chemo then they did at the beginning. Well when my friend told me that I remembered how I had looked in the mirror - BC(before cancer) and had noticed I just did not look good. I had just marked it up to all the stress I had been under. But now I am thinking that it was the cancer that had my body down and my body was working on fighting it and so that was why I my coloring was off and my hair seemed not as healthy too. Anyway I am so happy to be on the way to better health. Making better choices and giving up the addiction of caffeine - I can not wait till the treatments are behind me.

Oh one more thing - about 4pm when my husband got home- I had been down- in fact kind of discouraged. He brought the mail in - and in it was a card from a good friend. She shared with me a verse that she has been working on memorizing :

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

John 1:5 ESV

 

She pointed out that the cancer was indeed darkness- but that Jesus is not overcome by the darkness. Jesus is stronger than the enemy! Praise the Lord!!

 

"Put your trust in Jesus- You couldn't be in better hands!"

 

My friend said she was praying for me. I about started to cry. I told my husband- it is just one more sign that God knows I was having a bad day and He sent some encouragement. I am so thankful for all the encouragement along the way.

I hope that I am able to be of encouragement to others as well.

May God bless each and everyone of you. And know that I pray for you all. Sometimes even more than once a day. If I am having a problem sleeping at night - I stay in bed and I pray for everyone I can think to pray for. In this world we need all the prayers we can get. :o)