From Self-Pity to Thankful

My Mother was the 4th of 5 children and the only girl. She was born and raised in Oklahoma. And from when she got married until her divorce 17 years later - we moved all over the USA. It was tough moving almost every year and if we did not move each year - some how I ended up having to go to a different school each year. I loved going back to OK to visit family for holidays. We could not afford to go back very often but we loved when we could. It was a lot of people in a small house but it was great. These were some of my favorite memories.

Often times I felt like I was left out though. The rest of that family lived all in a general area and those cousins got to know each other really well.

When my parents got a divorce we moved back for about 2 years - till my Mom remarried and we moved to Texas. That time period was rough in so many ways but I had family and it was great to be able to get to know some of my cousins. They were there for me during a rough time period.

This past couple of weeks I have had the opportunity to visit with several of my cousins. And as I visited with them I found out that they really had rough life's. Lots of fighting and in situations that were not the most conducive to a safe, happy childhood - A child of 5 being sent to the corner store to buy a pack of cigarettes for her Daddy, maybe a house full of kids left to raise themselves, a 13 year old being punched in the nose(by a parent) for bothering her sister, or a Mom who as an only child was not able to sacrifice for her children. It made me realize that I had really been sheltered. I have known this - up until my parents got a divorce I was. But the next couple of years were really rough. I have shared a few of those stories so far so I won't go into it now.

So today I was able to spend half of the day with one of my favorite cousins- she shared some stories of some things that happened when I was around. And it was amazing to realize just how much more she had understood about life back then. The stories shed new light to my understanding of my family.

So, as I have thought about my conversation with my cousin, I have realized that I have a lot to be thankful for. I am so thankful that my Mom loved us enough to show us that she cared. And I am so thankful that I had the chance to get to know my family those couple of rough years that I lived in the same town. So even though it was a rough time period for me- God did work it out for good. It helped shape me into the person that I am. And I was able to spend more time with my family - building ties with others. That is what it is all about.

You know it is said we can not always control what is done to us, but we can control how we respond. Looking for the good in things - letting go of resentments - those are things that make us better people and more open and willing to letting God mold us into the people that he wants us to be. Feeling sorry for ourselves does not get us anywhere- it just keeps us focused on us. And that is not a good place to be.