No Regrets

I have learned another lesson over the past couple of weeks. And I am so thankful for this realization.

 

In facing my hysterectomy- it seems like I had a choice to make. It was if I wanted to keep my remaining ovary or not. The reason I say it seems like I had a choice is because I am not convinced that it is even in good enough shape to keep - if I made that choice. I have only had one ovary for the last 18 years and it has had to do the work of two ovaries, which I was told by my Dr that I would end up going into menopause sooner than I would have - because of this.

 

 

 So after discussing things with my Dr., then with my husband, family, and asking a couple of nurse friends that I have - I made up my mind as to what I thought would be the best choice for me. And I had peace.

 

Then I had the conversation with my husband's friend and in the conversation he said several times that his wife regrets the decision that she made. And then he was trying to get me to make the choice she wishes she had have made. Well this took my peace. Well that and the fact that he said she basically doubled in size.

 

So I asked friends and family to pray that God would guide me to the right decision.

 

Then as I said earlier - that a friend reminded me - that I would face menopause with this surgery or without it. This perspective really helped me out.

 

Then as I was finishing up my devotional time - I felt that God was leading me to make the choice - of No Regrets. That if I believed that He was with me and that He would get me through this situation, that I could make the choice that I felt that He was leading me to make- with No Regrets.

 

As I was thinking about this whole situation - the idea of coming to a crossroads in my life came to me. I was at a crossroads of sorts. I had a choice to make.

 

 I could only go one way or the other- I could not do both.

 

 As I thought about it I realized that when I made a choice - I would never truly know what things would have been like had I took the other road. We can romanticize that other choice all we want, but there is no guarantee that it would be all that rosy - even if the choice we make takes us through a rough road. So this is when I realized that I needed to make my decision and then I needed to have No Regrets.

 

When you turn your will and your life over to God- you can trust Him. He is in control and He will never let us down. I am thankful for this.

 

Learning to Go a Step Further

In 1991, my husband joined the Army. After all of his training - his first assignment sent him to Germany. Boy that was a doozy for this young couple. We had been married only about 3 years at the time and had a little toddler. My husband was sent over to Germany in July and several months later - it was finally time for my son and I to join him. Two flights on airplanes would be our mode of transportation. Before this I had only been in a little twin engine airplane - and even then it was just a quick - going up in the air(not very far) circling our little town of Pecos Texas - and then down again. So to say that I was afraid of this adventure would be an understatement. I would be going on a BIG airplane for the first time - with an 16 month old boy.

As the days approached - God orchestrated me being able to hear a great sermon in which the phrase:

Trust in God Prevents Panic

 

This would be my motto for my up coming adventure. And it was used many times. As I would get anxious or feel anxiety- I would say this phrase.

 

Trust in God Prevents Panic

 

And although this was one of the toughest things that I had done- to that point in my life. God was there for me and I was able to make it safely to my destination.

 

I was reminded of this experience while I have dreaded my up coming surgery.

God reminded me of this phrase.
It's amazing that God loves us so much and takes the time to help us through life's trials.

 

So when I start to panic or get anxious- I just say this phrase:

 

Trust in God Prevents Panic

 

But I don't stop there. In my experiences over the last 5 years - I have learned to go a step further.

Saying this phrase reminds me that God is in control. And not only that but that I need to redirect my focus - from myself - to Him.

 

 And I am choosing to use this reminder to remind me to praise God. Praise Him for all the blessing that He has given. All the things that many times I take for granted. And also praise Him that He is able to get me through what ever He brings in my path. He is able.

 

If God Has Brought it to Me

I hope you guys don't mind if I share a few of the fears that I have due to my upcoming surgery.

 

I have been doing research to help me be ready for my surgery. I am guessing that by knowing things to expect or things that can help me heal better and things like that help me to prepare and to feel more comfortable about having the surgery.

 

I have also been asking people I know about their experiences. And I want to thank those of you that have written to me personally and have share some very great perspective on the whole experience. It has truly helped me.

 

I was feeling pretty at peace (as much as can be expected when a person is facing surgery and having things taken out of them) until a friend of my husband's told us about after his wife had the surgery - that "she went from a size 8 to a size 16 practically over night."

Well for someone who has struggled with weight my whole entire life- that is scary.

 

I am the one to the left.

 

This is a photo of when I was 12 - probably fixing to be 13. As you can tell I am the same size as my Mom and my sister - who is 2 1/2 years older than I am. My parents had just gotten a divorce about a year before this photo was taken and my Mom lost a whole lot of weight.

 

Anyway so this whole idea of having problems with weight- and all scares me because I have struggled with it all my life. And it scares me.

 

Lately I have made some lifestyle changes and I have lost about 10 pounds over the last several months. And I would like to keep that up - or at least maintain.

So that is my fear right now.

 

Before I close, I wanted to share a little bit of perspective with you all- for those of you who may end up facing a hysterectomy. Changes are hard- especially the change. But - whether I had this surgery or not - I will face the change of life. So this is where - a motto that I am living by right now - and actually a really good motto to live by all the time.

"If God has brought it to me - He will get me through it."

 

Holding onto my trust in God

Today and forever!