Not What You Would Think

From the list shared on yesterdays blog post, you already know that I have a list of things to write about. All I need to do is pull photos together and get the posts typed up. So you would think that I would be sharing one of them today, but that is not the case.

Today I am discouraged and I felt the need to write about it - hoping that it can be therapeutic for me to write it out and maybe somehow I will find the cloud lifted.

Ever since July I have been really struggling - trying to lose weight and yet not losing the weight. I have been exercising, sometimes more than once a day. For the month of January - I ended up exercising like 36 or 38 times for the month. So I had thought that even though improvements were not showing up on the scales that improvements were still being made.

Today I pulled down an tote that has some of my summer things in it. I tried on a few of the tops and had hoped that they would be fitting much better than they were when last tried. I was disappointed that there was not a very big difference. Therefore, I felt discouraged all afternoon. I have wondered if all the effort is pointless. But I have come to realize that even though I am not seeing big changes right now - that I know that what I am doing is good for me. I know that exercise has many benefits.

I know what giving up feels like and what the results of giving up are... me gaining weight back and being even more disappointed in myself and I do NOT want to repeat that. That is why I am having to work hard to just get to where I am - because I gave up in the past. I want to see what will happen if I will stick it out. If I can just keep at it even when I don't see results. That is really the hardest time. It is easy to continue to make good choices to take care of yourself when you see the weight loss and when you see the improvements for the betterment of yourself. But what about when you are really putting out effort and you are trying to take good care of yourself and not seeing results? That is the hardest time to keep going.

And it doesn't help that I have several friends who are spending the big bucks $$$$$ and taking ketones and have lost a good amount of weight...sad thing is they were not that heavy to begin with.
It discourages me to see their big differences in such short amounts of time - 6 months or so. And me? I have been plugging away at this for 1 1/2 years. And I have a ways to go - till I reach my goal. And I will even then not be any where as thin as these ladies are that are taking Ketones- even when I reach my goal. It is quite discouraging. But I am NOT giving up.

I am planning on spending some time today refocusing on what my goals are and what I am going to do to reach my goals. Maybe spend some time adding things to my Heath and Wellness journal. Maybe reviewing things already in my book. I might even write up a few of the posts that I have planned for this week.

I hope you all are doing better than I have been doing. It has been over cast and much colder than what the weather people were saying it was going to be so far this week. Hoping the sun comes out soon so I can get out and get a walk in. I know getting out in the sunshine and fresh air would be very beneficial for me.