It's Up Date Time

Well it's about time for an up date. So here it is - A photo take this week. A friend of mine gave me a tiny curling iron. And so now I am able to curl the top of it and the sides- over my ears. The front top - still ends up sticking straight up but hey - its so much better than it was. It is still quite short- probably just over 2 inches long. I don't know if the growth has slowed down or if we were just stretching the hair up and so I thought it was at 2 inches when it really wasn't. Who knows.

I am doing pretty good. I am trying to get walks in at least several times a week - if not more.

I am having problems with my right hip - I have had problems with it for almost 2 years. This week I went to the Dr and she has set up an appointment for an MRI. That will be next week. She thinks it is caused by a problem with my back. We will see. I also have a mammogram coming up next week. It's about time to get it behind me. I have put it off. I had just had too many medical things going on. But now I have had enough of a break that I need to get this stuff taken care of. It also helps that I have enough hair that I don't have to wear a hat or anything.

I will then need to make up appointment to get my eyes checked- I am behind there as well. Goodness. You all will be proud- After my last chemo I did get in to have my teeth cleaned so I at least took care of that.

Well I hate to complain but it looks like at least for the next week - our highs will be in the upper 80's to lower 90's. I am SO ready for cooler weather. We have at least had a few cool nights - So I have been able to open up the house and have the house opened up at least half to 3/4ths of the days. So that is good. It's always good to get to open up the house and air it out. It is better for us when we are able to do that.

Well I better close.  I hope you all are having a good week. :o)

4 Months Post Chemo

So if my figures are right - Friday marked 4 months post chemo. I figured you might be wondering how my hair was growing. I know the photo is fuzzy - sorry about that. But at least you can see how my hair is doing. It is only about 1 3/4 - maybe close to 2 inches by now. The color seems to be the exact color it was before -dark brown with red highlights. And I still have my cowlicks. One at the front right side and at the back of my head at the top. Not quite sure why - but my hair is doing little flares above the ears. I guess to add a little flare to my hair!

Coming up this week:
Oat Groats - it's what's for breakfast
To Change Us
Stagnant

Be sure to check back to read them and more.... :O)

Hair Update

Well I know it's not the best photo- but I have not done an update on my hair lately - so I thought I would share a photo today. Maybe next week I can get a better photo. I have just been very busy.

I have been spending a little bit of time each day mowing our back yard. It is really pretty big and then there have been some mornings that by the time I have a chance to mow - it is quite warm already. After July - I will start getting up and mowing before my shower and while it is still decent outside. Then I will be able to get more done each day.

Anyway I better close _ I let SweetPea play outside with water, dirt- "mud pies anyone?"
So now she is in the tub- with shaving cream paints while we get lunch ready. A nice little break. She really enjoys it and spend at least 45minutes to an hour in the tub. Later today we have to go get groceries.

I hope you all are having a good week. Praying for each of you. :o)

Uniquely Me - Uniquely You

Yesterday I was challenged by my son's girlfriend to post 5 photos to facebook in which I felt beautiful.

 

My first response was the 1 photo here- I have grown to love this photo of me. I am 12- maybe about to turn 13 in this photo- I love the wind blown - carefreeness of the photo. It is a natural beauty and I love the photo.

 

The one under the that one is one taken of me and my husband just before we got married- maybe a month or so before.

 

The top right one - is after we had been married about 6-7 years. It's a great photo - yes - my husband does not like to smile for cameras and really does not like his photo taken.

 

You all have seen the photo in the middle- taken last year at the Dallas Arboretum. It is such a pleasant photo with all the flowers.

 

And the one that probably was the most shocking one for people to see that I picked out is the bottom right one. But I just had to post it in this bunch of photos. For several months I did not have any hair at all. And Praise the Lord- I was given a spirit of acceptance- this of course was prayed for - and had to be prayed many different times. I would be doing ok with it - and then something would happen and I would need to pray for the acceptance again. And so fast forward a couple of months and my hair is growing back - my eye lashes and eye brows are in nicely and my hair is coming in. And I am SO thankful for it all. Trying to pencil in eye brows is hard - I have sympathy for those who have to do it all the time. I know that putting on make up during the hairless time period was difficult. Many times my husband would hear my frustration and complaints sometimes of how hard it was. Now make up goes on quick and easy. More quickly and more easily than it was... lol

 

One more thing that I would like to share in correlation with this photo being picked as one of my 5 photos in which I feel beautiful. Since I have taken off my hat and begun to live life as normally as possible- there is such a freedom that comes along with it.

 

I have gotten a few stares and weird looks here and there. But the wonderful support that I have gotten from my friends and family has helped give me the confidence to live my life. Don't get me wrong - there are still times - like yesterday when I walked out to the mailbox to get the mail and to bring the trashcan back up to the house - that I feel like I forgot to put the hat on and then braced myself. But over all - I am learning to accept me. Just the way I am. That is all any of us can do. Embrace yourself - learn to love who God created you to be. You may not meet other people's expectations- but that is ok. You weren't meant to. You were created to be you. Uniquely You.

Gracious Words

Forgive me if I have already written about this topic.

I have been so busy- I think of things I want to write about and then most of the time I just haven't had a chance to write them out. But there is a chance that this is something that I have written about. But even if it is- I feel it is an important topic and that even if I have written about it before- it is worth the extra look at it.

 

 

(Something floating around Facebook)

 

You all know how hard this cancer "adventure" has been for me. Especially in terms of losing my hair, eye brows, and eye lashes(as I wrote this- I teared up- I had not anticipated that at all- but it goes to show how very deep the emotions go in regards to this.)

Never was I ever very comfortable wearing a hat or a wig. But I am so very thankful for some very special people that don't base beauty on a person's looks only.

 

My husband has been very supportive. He is probably the one person who truly knows how hard the past 8 months have been on me. And he did his best to reassure me of my beauty and he also helped me see the humor in this "adventure."

 

God blessed me with several best friends who also base beauty, not on the outer person only, but also are able to see the beauty that comes from within. They have been my cheerleaders throughout this journey. They have called me "beautiful" when I did not feel beautiful at all.

 

I have also been amazed at the loving support and acceptance I have gotten from so many people from my church. Some of them have gone above and beyond to show how much they care. And it has meant so much to me.

 

and I can not forget each one of you who have been so very supportive to me throughout this whole journey. I have trusted you guys with photos of me - with hardly any hair - and that says a lot. I did not even post the first 2 photos on facebook. Your positive response helped give me courage and strength to finally come to the point of taking off the hat and moving forward in this journey and I want to thank each one of you.

 

 

 It was because of all of these loving people that were willing to use their words to be of encouragement to me that helped give me strength to face the world each day.  

They also helped counteract the negative responses that I got. People can be cruel and I am so thankful for people who are willing to use their words to encourage and to heal. We need more people like that. :O)

Me...today

 

 

 

Here is me today.

Can you tell my hair is slowly growing.

 

Well I was wanting to get my yard mowed in order to get ready for our visit with our granddaughter for the month of July - but our riding lawn mower has a tire that has been losing air. Well I have had to air it up each time before I want to mow. And I thought today would be the same as other days- it may take longer but I eventually get the tire aired up and can get the job done. But not today- apparently the tire has a big crack in it and will not hold air. So it is a no go with getting my yard mowed today.

 

So I took advantage of my "new" reel push mower- and I got it out of the garage and I worked on an area in the hard that is hard to mow with the riding lawn mower. It did a really good job. It will need to have the blades lowered a bit and the blades will need to get sharpened but over all I am very pleased with it. It helped me to be able to get at least a good section of the back yard done - so that I am one step closer to being ready for the grandbabies visit.

 

Anyway I just wanted to post a photo since I had not posted one last week. And wanted to let you know that my $20.00 reel push mower was one of the best bargains I have gotten!!

 

Now I am fixing to head to Aldi's to get some groceries - wish me luck - first time with no hat.

Have a wonderful day! :O)

And Then the Next Step

Sometimes our journey seems to go slowly, but other times it seems to pick up pace. And that is what has happened to me. For the last few weeks I knew that it was coming to the time that I would have to just lay the hat down and go out into my life just the way I was. I was tired of wearing the hat or wig- ever so often. They are both hot and the wig is itchy. This week ends camping trip took me to a place that no one knew me - and it gave me more confidence to take off the hat and ease myself into the newest part of my adventure.

Not only was yesterday the first day that I went without a hat - all day long. But it was also the day that I decided no more hiding. I posted this photo of me on facebook:

 Although my hair is a bit longer - I decided that the next step would be to share the photo. That way people seeing me with my new do would be more on my terms. And there is a freedom that I feel - that I did not feel before.

I did not choose this "adventure" but I can choose to be more comfortable on this "adventure" by moving forward in the healing process. I feel happier today and more grateful. I feel like I have overcome another fear and it feels good.

I shared the photo on a private group on Facebook for Women who are fighting Uterine Cancer
and one of the ladies had this to day about when she decided no more hats and no more scarves:

"It was the best most freeing experience I had.

  It was a moment I won't forget.

  It was like I thumbed my nose at cancer

and said "I'm done with you". "

Couldn't have said it better. Sometimes you just have to take the next step and you will be happy when you do. Not saying it will be easy - but saying it will be worth it.

Now I need to get off of here and get my yard mowed and ready for our granddaughters visit! :O)

Taking the Next Step

This week end my husband and I went camping. As we were on our way - I decided I was tired of wearing my hat - so I took it off. And only put it on when we went in to places and such. But most of the time driving I had it off. I felt a little protected by being in the vehicle - so not really "seen." Over the week end I wore it when I around people, until Sabbath evening. I had been out at the dock with my husband while he was fishing. Then I decided to go back to the RV. It was starting to get dark. I had already walked to the RV and back to get something that he had left at the RV. Anyway while I was walking back to the RV - I decided to walk the long way, because I wanted more exercise. I was getting hot and sweaty and finally decided to take off the hat. So I did - and walked the rest of the way back to the trailer. It felt good to have air getting to my head. I continued to sweat but at least I was letting air to get to my head.

By the time I got back to the RV- I decided that I was tired of wearing the hat. It will more than likely be several more months before my hair is at a length that would appear to be a regular hair style that a woman would chose to get and I am not willing to go all summer long wearing a hat. Hats are hot.

This morning when I got up - I decided I am going to do my best to go without a hat. I lucked out because the people that were camping directly across from us - were gone by the time we got ready to hook up to leave. When we got to the dump station - I got out - without my hat and took the trash to the trash can and then proceeded to help my husband with the rest of the stuff.

After we got home- I wanted to weed eat around where we normally park the RV so I had him wait a bit while I weed eated the area. Then I went to the front yard and weed eated around a few things- to make it look pretty when I actually mow our yard tomorrow- all the while- not wearing hat.

Later in the evening, we had a few errands to run in a town nearby- and I did not wear that hat at all. In fact, that time I did not even take the hat with me.

Now I know that each time I go to a place that I normally visit - it will be a bit challenging - Especially that first time for each place. And I am guessing that it will be a bit more challenging to go places by myself. But I am going to pray for courage in order to do so. Because I am tired of wearing a hat. I am tired of being hotter because of the hat. I am tired of the time that it is taking in order for my hair to grow. I had hoped to have more hair by now. But since I don't - then I just need to suck it up and just get on with life.

Anyway since I have been sharing this "adventure" with you all - I thought I would share this next step.

I am pretty tired - we stayed up way too late this week end and I need to get myself off to bed and try to catch up. In just a couple of days I will be taking care of my granddaughter all day long. So I need to be rested up at least a decent amount before that starts.

I hope you all are doing well. I am doing well. :o)

It's about Hair....

 

Hello- I think I am doing better today. And it just might be because of a dream I had last night.

I dreamed that I had beautiful, bouncy almost shoulder length hair. I had just got done styling it- I was brushing through the back of it a few times. And then I lightly sprayed some hair spray on my hair. What an awesome dream- for a girl who has had no hair to speak of for the past 5-6 months!

 

It gave me hope. Even though it seems like it is taking for ever - I will one day have pretty hair again. And will not have to wear a hat. And that will be great. It has been running in the upper 80's to the 90's for the past couple of weeks and I am trying to work up the courage to go without my hat out in public- I just have not gotten there yet.

 

I shared my dream with the ladies at my Fighting Uterine Cancer Facebook page. And one of the ladies shared this photo:

 

I thought it was hilarious and just made my day even brighter! So glad for a group of ladies who know what I am going through - because many of them have gone through it or are going through it.

 

One more thing that I wanted to share with you all is some shampoo.

A lady in my group says she uses this and it has helped her hair to grow.
Well I went by Walmart today - and lo and behold- they had bottles that had 50% free - so I got double the shampoo for my money! Yay! I love a good deal.

 

I am glad it is a big bottle - almost 30 ounces cause I am gonna need a lot of shampoo to help this hair grow.... lol.

 

Oh one more cute funny that I wanted to share with you all.

 

Man #1- I gonna call you cilantro
Man #2 - Why ?
Man #1 - because you ruin everything... 

 This was a commercial that I heard on TV today and I thought it was funny.  :O)

 

Anyway I just thought that was funny and wanted to share it here with you all.

Hope you are all doing good. :o 

This Journey

 

Ok - So I finally was able to get some decent photos today. And when I was putting it in my folder - and it was up next to my photos from last week- I could certainly notice the difference. Although it is not growing as fast as I would like it to grow- it is growing! I am so grateful!!

 

Notice my pink top- well I know you can see the sleeves(sorry) but they had elastic around them but it just did not flatter at all. So I seam rippered those seams out - took the elastic out and then resewed the seams. And it looks SO much better now. I am so happy to be becoming more creative. I like being able work with some things in order to make them work better for me. It feels good to be

creative.

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This week I am slowly getting some weed eating done around my yard. There is A lot of it to get done. There is one area on the side of our yard that I really need to cut down a branch off of a tree so that I can at least run the mower around there a time or two and that would take out some of the weed eating that I have to do. Believe me - I end up with a lot. And to be honest - I don't even weed eat everything that I could - if I wanted a perfect yard. I just can't keep up with it all. I am slowly getting more and more energy built back up and I am so happy about that. But I just take it one day at a time. I do what I can each day and mark the things off the list that I can- and if I don't get something done- I put it on my next days list of things I want to do. I am getting things done and moving right along.
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I am still working on getting projects and such together to do with SweetPea this July. That reminds me-I have a cool story to share. For the past year I have wanted a 6 muffin muffin tin. I had looked through my stuff and had not found one. Well this morning I was pulling a pan out of my cabinet - and guess what fell out? YES!! a 6 muffin - muffin tin! Just what I wanted. I had not wanted to spend a lot of money of it because I just wanted it for a couple of projects to do with SweetPea. So I was SO very happy that I found that we already had one!
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Well I better get off of here and get some more things done around here. Have a great rest of the day! :O)

Can You Tell?

Here is a photo of me from over the week end.

Can you tell my hair is getting darker?! I am thrilled about it. Especially since the weather here has been pretty warm and wearing a hat or wig is hot. I am happy to see that the day when I won't have to wear those things is fastly approaching. Yeah - I know I could go without them now- but I have not had enough courage. That is one reason why I am sharing my photo here - so that maybe because I am having the courage to share it here- maybe it can help me get more used to seeing it and having other people see me like this and then maybe when I do decide to go without wig or hat - I can better handle it.

 

Last week I watched a couple of Youtube videos where ladies that had lost their hair due to chemo - showed videos of their hair growing back. And I realized that it will take even longer than I had first thought it would - to grow out even to the shorter cut I had before chemo. Trying not to let that bother me right now - I am just trying to appreciate the growth that I have.

 

Oh I also wanted to warn you all - I am planning on doing another post about my cancer- mostly that so when people click over to check out my blog- from seeing my bald head(lol) that I can at least put a public service announcement type of thing out - maybe helping someone else in the process. I just did not want any of you to think I had lost it by sharing about it again...lol

 

I think I am going to try to get a weekly photo of myself - and that way I can compare photos and see the progress- especially since it is hard for me to see the progress when I see my hair every day. Not sure if I will post a weekly photo but I will see. Only if I can get good photos.

 

 

Hope you all are having a good week. :O)  

This and That - and Yes - Really That!

Just thought I would take a little bit of time today to share a few things with you all. Kind of a this and that kind of post.

 

First up - well last week I had shared last week that my eye brows were coming in. Well they are still quite light because they are little tiny hairs. And the last few days I have just been going without my eye brow pencil. The reason I have been not using my eye brow pencil is it is very challenging for me to use it now that I have a lot more area that is darker so it is harder for me to use the pencil and make the brow the way I want to make them look. Well when using my hats - it works just fine to go without my eye brow pencil. But Sabbath morning - as I was getting ready for church- I had a surprise. Once I put my wig on- I was shocked at how very light, non existent that my eye brows looked. Well my husband and granddaughter were ready to go and I felt pressured. Using my eye brow pencil has always been challenging for me - I have only been using one for the past month and it has been hard for me to make my eye brows match. Anyway so I was feeling pressured but it looked awful to have my make up on and my dark wig - and then my eye brows look so light. So it was a stressful time. My husband was very helpful and had SweetPea help him with something to give me a little extra time. Anyway I was able to get it done.

 

I have decided to share a photo with you all - of me without my wig or hat.

I finally got a decent photo - and you can at least see that I have a tiny bit of hair. It has gotten darker - thankfully - it's easier to see then the peach fuzz it was to begin with.

 

Feel privileged that I shared this photo- I do not go around without something covering my head and hardly anyone that is not family have seen my bald head. But I just felt that since I got a decent photo of it - where I don't look as horrible as most of the photos that I have tried to take have turned out. So you are lucky to get to see this photo. Hey- it is part of my "adventure" and a part of my reality. So it is just something I feel like I need to do- like a freeing experience maybe. I don't really know- but I have felt like I am suppose to share it. There are others that may have to go through this - and I want to be a good example to others to show that what ever God allows to come your way - He will give you the strength and courage to get through it. I would have never thought that I could have gone through the last 6 months but I have made it- and I still face months till my hair is at a length that I would really like to have it at- but God will continue to give me the strength and courage to face each and every day.

 

Oh - and guess what- I continue to lose my eye lashes. My right eye has virtually none- well I can't see anything - maybe a hair or two but I have to REALLY look to find them - my left eye has a few more. But the truth is that I don't have enough eye lashes to even waste time putting mascara on. Just think of all the time I will save.....no.....seriously - it takes a whole lot more time to try to put mascara on when you hardly have any lashes. So today I am not even using mascara - and it will be a while before I use it again. At least I have learned how to use my eye liner on both top and bottom area of my eye lashes to make me look better. I just have been surprised. I had read how people had said that there eye lashes were the last to go - I just had no idea that 3 weeks after chemo was totally behind me - that I would have continued to lose eye lashes and have to start from scratch. I guess since the new stuff will be coming in soon - that the old stuff is coming out to make room for the new stuff. Have lost more of my eye brows but at least there is a shadow where the new growth is.

 

It has gotten warm around here- it will be in the 90's all week long. So I am having to try to get my outside jobs done in the mornings- before it gets too warm.

 

I am going to spend some time this afternoon - looking through the vhs movies that we have - and make a list of them. And also of the kids books that we have. So I can use those lists to plan what I am going to do with SweetPea this summer. I am thinking of doing themes each week and trying to incorporate books and movies in with what we are doing to reinforce what we are learning. I am also working on getting projects ready.

 

Well I better close- I have a list of things I want to get done tonight.

I hope this finds you all doing well. :O)