Frustration and Confusion

Just checking in with a little bit of an update. We are a bit frustrated. My Mother in law, Charlene is confused half the time. And sometimes she even comes up with wild stories. And sometimes she even forgets that she has had company. My husband talked to her yesterday evening and we knew that her brother John had been to visit her. Well when my husband asks if she has had any company she says no. She had told John that she had not seen my husband in a week, when in fact he had been at the hospital like 8 out of 10 days - and the only reasons why he had not gone those two days was one day he was sick and the other day was the day after he spent 9 hours with her - after working at his job ALL day long and so technically he had been there 9 out of 10 days because he did not get home till after 1am. Anyway we are frustrated because if it is normal for patients to be confused then I think that the Dr or nurses should have prepared us for it- they should have taken the time to warn us that this might happen and maybe then give us some hope of - if the patients usually return to their previous selves. That would have been nice. Now we are concerned because we have no idea. Is this the new normal or what? I am cleaning up some of her robes and gowns to take up to her tomorrow. And we are hoping by getting more of her stuff there - that maybe she will think a bit better.

Anyway I would sure appreciate any prayers for her- that she can come out of the fog that she is in. And that she will stay with reality. Maybe also pray for acceptance for what has happened and peace through this process. Thank you so much! :O)

God's Promises...series... 1 Peter 5:7

God's Promise

 

by

 John Bradshaw

 

"Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."

1 Peter 5:7

 

 

When a four-year-old girl lost her favorite stuffed animal out the window of the family car, her parents mistakenly thought they would be able to find a replacement toy she would be happy with. But the little lady made it very clear that nothing her parents could do would make up for the loss of her special dolphin. So Mom and Dad contacted the local police and explained the situation, and within minutes, a rescue operation began to retrieve the lost dolphin. The four-year-old girl was jubilant, and her parents were greatly relieved.

It was just a stuffed toy, a little thing, yet it was important enough in the eyes of someone to search for and return. Small things in your life matter to God. 1 Peter 5:7 urges you to cast "all your care upon Him, for He cares about you." Another translation says, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you." No matter how trifling they may seem, or how enormous they appear, God invites you to bring your cares to God, with the assurance that He cares for you. You can be confident that there is a God who cares about you and the things that are important to you. He has promised!

 

 



God Gives Second Chances...Even With Blessings

I'd like to share a personal experience that goes to show that sometimes we are just not ready for the blessings that God has in mind for us.

 

About 8-10 years ago, a friend from church shared about how a book had really blessed her. I can't remember if I bought the book or if she gave it to me, I'm thinking she gave me a copy of it. Anyway I read a couple of chapters and just wasn't that impressed with the book. I put the book in my bookcase and forgot about it.

 

About 6 months or so I reorganized my 3 bookcases. In the process I ended up getting rid of a stack of books. And off to the thrift store they went to bless someone else. And I think that the book was in that pile.

 

Anyway let's fast forward to this past week-end. At Sabbath School a sweet couple had bought a stack of books to share with everyone in the class. I thought it was such a nice thing of them to do. This was a big deal because recently I had been struggling with the whole idea of my prayer life. I had experienced what seemed to be a list of things that I was praying for - for myself that were not being answered - well at least no in the way I had wanted them to be answered and it was discouraging me. I had experienced answers to prayers for others, but not myself. So I had a lot of questions. And wanted to find the answers to them.

 

Well once I figured out that I thought this was the same book that I had been given years before - I had decided to share the book with someone else. But something amazing happened.

 

Wednesday night at prayer meeting I talked with the couple about the book. And they shared how it totally changed their thinking. Well at first I said that I was reading another book(which I was) and that I would read a chapter or so of the book and that I had thought that I would pass it onto a friend to read because she was going through some rough stuff. Then I would read the book later. Truth is I did not know if I would or not. So I went home that night and read a chapter in the book, so I would be doing what I said I would do. And I was SO blessed by that chapter - it opened my eyes to the need of prayer for others and how "God never violates the free will of anyone, but when we pray for someone else, it permits Him to work in the lives with a special power. He unshackles the individual from the chains of sin so that he can use his freedom of choice to choose good."

 

As of today, I have only read the first 3 chapters of the book - but what a blessing I have gotten. I am so glad that I gave the book another chance. I am so glad that I did not allow my preconceived notion about the book - cloud my judgment in reading it. What a blessing.  I have a couple of other quotes that I read in a chapter today that I would like to share with you all. They are actually quotes from other books - so I will list where they originally came from for your reference point.

 

"And the years of eternity, as they roll, will bring richer and still more glorious revelations of God and of Christ.. As knowledge is progressive, so will love, reverence, and happiness increase. The more men learn of God, the greater will be their admiration of His character." 

 The Great Controversy - page 678

 

"Faith is inspired by the Holy Spirit, and it will flourish only as it is cherished."

Great Controversy p. 527

 

Here is the book that I am talking about:

Incredible Answers to Prayer by: Roger J. Morneau

 

It is not a very long book, only 96 pages but I am sure it is full of blessings just waiting to be found.

I am so glad that I was open to the leading of the Holy Spirit to read this book. And I am glad that God did not give up on me - even when years ago I decided to let that blessing pass. God's mercy and grace is shown to clearly to me - in that even though I passed by the blessing the first time - He cared enough to bring it around again! Praise the Lord!!!
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Just a little update. Yesterday my Mother in Law- Charlene was able to not only stand up but with help walked to the chair and sat in it for about an hour. It looks as if today they will be moving her to a long term rehab hospital to help get her ready to go back home and have independence. She is still having some confusion and telling some whoppers- but hopefully as she is able to have less pain meds - she will have clearer thinking. Please pray with me that she had can hope and joy and that she will be able to be kind to those who care for her. And that she is able to get back to caring for herself and be independent. That is what she really wants. Thank you so much! :0)

Shock Therapy

At my last oncology visit- the dr informed me that I had gained a few pounds. 3 from the last visit to be exact. She also asked if I was walking every day. Well no...it's been rainy. I am trying to exercise at my house but with everything going on - I honestly have not been exercising every day like I should be. Well after this past week I learned a very important lesson, one that has me changing my priorities a bit.

As you all know my MIL had a lung surgery on the 11th. And then an emergency surgery 21st of this month. Before surgery my MIL had a pretty sedentary lifestyle. She would get out and feed and water her dogs and sometimes go to the pasture - the edge of her back yard to see the sheep. And she had been helping feed some baby lambs. She would do basic cleaning like sweeping and vacuuming. She would run errands - like to the bank, post office, and picking up groceries in the nearby town. But other than that - a lot of her time was spent watching tv. I think this is what contributed to her having such a hard time with being weak. Yesterday when I was at the hospital she asked how she could go from taking care of herself to an invalid so quickly. And as I thought about it I thought that is was sad that she had not been in any better shape before these last surgeries. Not only that - had exercise been a part of her routine - and after the lung surgery began to walk and get some exercise- there is a very good chance that it would have helped her body to continue to move and she may not have needed the emergency surgery. All of this hit home for me and I realized that I needed to make walking a priority. Not above my quiet time with Jesus, but I needed to make sure that I could walk or exercise some most every day. A day off here and there is not going to hurt you but exercise is very important. There is a book that I have that is called Strong Women Stay Young - and I think it is true I think that if we will work at keeping ourselves mobile and moving it will help us all the way around.

So because of this shock therapy that I have gone through - at seeing how a woman that seems like she is doing quite well can go from doing things for herself to not having the energy to hardly move her arms and legs and having a difficult time sitting on the side of the bed- of course some of this is due to the incisions that she has but when the therapy people are trying to work with her and train her how to roll to her side and then push the trunk of her body into an upright position - and she does not have enough strength in her arms to lift herself up - it made me pay attention.

I will be doing a much better job at making time to walk/exercise. And I know that the effort will pay off and I will feel SO much better. Exercise is SO good for you- there are so many benefits - to name a few - build strength and stamina, helps keep the systems of the body going, helps you sleep better at night, keeps your heart strong, and helps you recovery from surgeries better. Like I said, there are many benefits and it is well worth the effort and time put into taking care of your body. I hope you will join me in trying to make exercise a part of your daily schedule. Please leave a comment and let me know what you are doing for exercise or that you will join me. We can encourage one another. :o)

Percentage Has Increased

Ok - thought I would check in with an update. I am sorry it has taken me so long to get back on here to write an update. The good news is that Charlene is doing pretty good - especially since on Thursday her Dr only gave her a 20% chance of making it. Well she made it past the 72 hours time period - that was Sunday afternoon.

 It took 3 tries to get her off the ventilator- but this morning- they were finally able to get her off of it.
It was funny because after she was off the vent she told my husband that she was ready to go home. This is very typical of her. But she has been confused off and on since then. At first she did not even recognize her family members. My husband showed her photos and she did not recognize people. Later she called him by name - so maybe she is remembering things. He asked her if she remembered her lung surgery 2 weeks ago- no she did not. He explained to her what had happened - but I figure that it will have to be retold because she is still confused. She told the nurse that she had been told that she was gonna get "to go home in 90 minutes"...lol where she got 90 minutes... I don't know.

My husband is going to have to go back to work tomorrow - I am so glad that they were able to get her off the ventilator before he had to go back to work. It makes it a bit easier on him. I will be going to the hospital to spend some time with her tomorrow. I am sure hoping that the weather holds out. Today we ended up having a storm go through. We are so water logged.

The good news is that yesterday evening we went to Home Depot and bought a tarp and my husband and son - got up on our sunroom roof and got the tarp put over it. It had been leaking and with all of the rain that we have had we thought we better put a tarp over it till we can get out there and get it fixed up. So today when it rained there was NO leaking. Praise the Lord that we were able to get that done.

Oh my goodness - I almost forgot to share some exciting with you all. Yesterday afternoon I was talking to my Mom on the phone and I heard some meowing coming from the garage so I went out to check it out and guess what I found??? Kittens! A total of 3 of them.

Aren't they adorable!?!!

It does not take much for me to fall in love with kittens!

Well that is about all that is going on. I am trying to keep up with everything around here. I will check in as soon as I can. Thanks for the continued prayers- there is still a long road to recovery for my MIL.

God's Promises... series.... Revelations 21:4

Sorry I missed last week. This weeks promise fits the week our family has had. I hope it blesses you.

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God's Promises

 

by

 

John Bradshaw

 

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

Revelations 21:4

 

This world is full of sadness- death, illness, loss of many kinds. So many people are burdened by grief and pain. God makes us a wonderful and hopeful promise in Revelations 21:4, "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death , neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away."

 

Imagine a world without grief or loss, a land without funeral services or cemeteries, a place where nobody will shed a tear. That's what eternity will be like! God did not create us to experience death or to grieve. Before sin, the Garden of Eden was a happy place, and God intended that His children be content and satisfied. But the fall of Adam and Eve resulted in sorrow and bereavement.

 

The illnesses and aches we experience, the tears of sadness that we shed, and the difficulties we endure are the result of sin. But in a new world where there is no sin, we will never again have to experience the bitter side of life. A time is coming when God will wipe away all tears, and there will be no more death. If it seems to good to be true, remind yourself that you can look forward to this new life with confidence. He has promised!  

An Update....

Just wanted to check in to share an up date. My Mother in law, Charlene(so you guys can add her to your prayer list) had a bath(well sponge bath) and had a good night. Today she looked better than yesterday- she has more coloring today. Yesterday she was quite white. They are keeping her mostly sedated. She does know what people are there and recognized voices. And has learned how to let my husband know what she wants. She will raise her hand/arm and then he will go over and he asks questions to find out. She holds your hand firm when you talk to her- she knows people are there. Some people may think that when they are out of it like that - that they don't know what is going on- but they do - and it is important for people to talk to her and to let her know that they love her. It is what gives her a will to live and she needs that will. When the Dr's only give you 20% chance to live - you really need to know that you are loved and that there is a reason to live.

We have been blessed with the outpouring of love from her family coming to visit her and letting her know how much they care. And all those praying have given peace in a tough time. I am still just so shocked of how serious she got and how quickly - something like that happened to her. And I am heart broken that she is having to go through this. I am so dreading when she wakes up and is told about the C bag. My husband says he is hoping to be able to tell her. But we are praying that God will give who ever is the one that tells her first to do it in a gentle way. I mean - it almost makes me cry just thinking of it. I hurt for her- because this is not something anyone would want to happen to them.

Sunday afternoon - will mark the 72 hour point - the point in which - the % will increase for her survival. Please continue to keep her in your prayers- especially during this critical time.

My sister has a friend who - when she shared with her what was going on with my MIL - shared that she too had a problem going to the bathroom. And up until that point had thought that it was normal. And because of the knowledge of this - went to the Dr and asked for some help. So one person at least has been helped by this that we know of - and I hope that with the knowledge being out there that more people will be helped.

Anyway I just wanted to share a quick up date. I hope you all are doing well. :0)

Very Personal but Sharing for Information and Prayers

Today I am going to share something that is quite personal - but there is a very good reason for sharing. I am very surprised and shocked about the out come and want to share - so maybe if the information is out there - that it might help someone else.

I know I have not  been able to update as I would like on here- I have been so very busy and still don't feel like I have been able to keep up with everything.

May 11th as I think you all know my MIL had a surgery to remove her lower right lobe of her lung because she had cancer. We praised God when we heard the pathology report- Stage 1 - cancer was contained in the lobe and she had the lowest grade cancer meaning it was very slow growing and not very aggressive. On Friday I took her home from the hospital and she seemed to be doing well.

On Sunday she asked if my husband and I could come over while she took a shower. Sometime either before she called or afterwards(we have no idea) she took 2 pain pills and by the time we got there she was out of it. So much so after and hour or so of us cleaning house she was still out of it and we said we would come by later.
On Monday I went over and helped her change her bandage. And she seemed pretty good considering. On Tuesday my husband and I went to Home Depot and got her a special thing to attach to her toilet in order to make it easier for her to get up off the toilet. We went by and we put it on for her. She seemed alright - not really with it. But we chalked it up to her taking her meds. Plus you have to keep in mind that she had been a smoker up till the surgery and now was probably going through some withdrawals.

Anyway all of that to get to Wednesday. On Wed at about 2:25pm - my MIL calls my husband(at work) and says she is hurting. He calls me and asks me to go get her and take her to the ER and he would meet us there. When I got to her house she was out of it again and I asked - did you take 2 pain pills again- yes...... Well there was no way I was going to be able to get her to the car. So I talked to my husband and we decided that I would stay with her till he got there and he would take her to the ER. Thankfully shortly before my husband got there- my MIL's brother got there and together they were able to get her to the car- while I opened up doors and such for them.

We found out that she had not had a bowel movement for 14 days at that point. So her last one was the Wed before surgery. Anyway her stomach was distended and she was miserable, but because she had taken 2 pain meds at 2pm - she was about out of it. Well they did a ct scan and confirmed that she was impacted. So they were going to try an enema or the like and try to get things moving. So we figure that they would be successful in getting things moving along and hat she would get to go home today. But....

My husband - we will call him Jay- got a phone call this morning from the hospital telling him that they had not been successful and that it was worse than they thought and that her body was suffering from the stress of everything. Her blood pressure was low and having other issues with her heart. They told him that there were two choices - no surgery - they would keep her as comfortable as possible but she would die - OR  surgery - to remove the compaction and that she would have to have a colostomy bag - temporarily or permanently.

As you can tell neither choice seemed that great - but at least one of them gave her a chance at live. It was not until later that we realized how serious things really were.

So Jay, his brother, and I were there and we told her we loved her and that we were praying for her. Then we went to the waiting room. Fifteen minutes later - a nurse came out and said she wants to see you before the surgery. Ok - that seemed a little odd but we went back and each loved on her a bit more. Then when we were out of the room a Dr informed us again of our choices - but he added the part that hit us like a ton of bricks.... We were told that she was in such bad shape - worse than the had thought and that she only had a 20% chance of making it.

We made our way out to the waiting room - making the calls that needed to be made. And tried to recoup from the shock.

She made it through the surgery - we were told that her colon(large intestines) were about doubled in size - or bigger. That there had been some leakage of at least fumes- because when they opened her up it smelled. And that because of this - there is more of a chance of infection. They said that they had to take most of her large intestines - as they were gangrene. We were told that if she made it past the next 72 hours that her chances for survival would increase. She will be in the hospital for probably a week or two. And that after that she will probably go into rehab.

She really has no idea of what happened. She has not idea that she now has a C bag. I am sad for her - because I know that it will be a shock to her. And that she will not like the recover time. She has about a 6 inch incision down the front of her, and then still recouping from the other surgery.

*Something that I feel is so important to share with you all is that allowing constipation to get out of and is dangerous. She has always had problems - but I am sure she never ever would have dreamed that this would happen to her.

*Another important thing I want to share is that sometimes going through surgeries slow down your system. So it is important to counter act this by drinking lots of water, walking as much as possible to help keep things moving. Eating fresh fruits and veggies and high fiber things.

*And here is something else to keep in mind - pain meds cause or contribute to constipation. And so does meds like Zofran. I know from experience. So some people may think, as did my MIL, that she was doing her body a favor by taking the upper dose of pain meds so she did not hurt so much- but in fact it slowed her system down even more and caused some really serious consequences.

Anyway like I said this is highly personal for my MIL but I wanted to share for 2 reason - #1 - Prayers for her to pull through this and #2. So that maybe by sharing this - it can help someone else.

Thanks so much.

A Long Awaited This and That

One of the news stations in the area posted this on Facebook last week. And as you can tell from this photo- so far we are less than half of an inch from the total of rain for 2014. What is even sadder is that since this was posted(I have been busy and unable to write up a post) we have gotten more rain and I am sure we are higher. And although I am happy for the rain - with having aerobic sewer system-(one that processes the sewer and then sprays the clean water out on the lawn) our ground is saturated. And it has been so hard to even get our yard mowed. We have not had dry days - it seems like rain every other day or less. Yesterday was the first time in a LONG time that the ground was halfway decent to mow- and in the front yard there were areas of the yard that as I walked through - I could tell there was maybe 1/4-1/2 inch of rain standing.

The last few years we have been in a severe drought. I have shared how we have had gaps in our yard - like an inch or more wide. So I know this rain is very needed - and I am SO thankful for it. I just wish it could spread out over a longer time period with some dry weather in between so we can more appreciate the rain when it comes.

Ok - so an update from my Dr appointment last week. The Dr said everything seemed fine. I was a little disappointed that my CA125 number increased again this time. Last it had increased 1 whole point or so - this last time it increased .3 from last time. Not horrible- but I would rather the number stay the same or decrease. It would make me feel better for sure.

I am going over my lab reports and am hoping to have a better understanding how my blood work is going. Hoping that it is getting more and more back to normal. Then the question is what is normal? At least I have access to all of those numbers and hoping to have a better understanding after I make up a spread sheet of how the numbers have gone.

Life continues to be busy. On Friday I went and pick my MIL up from the hospital and she is doing alright. She is still weak and needs help with cleaning and putting bandages over her incisions- where they removed the tubes - are leaking a bit. And we are trying to take food to her ever so often as well so she will eat more of a complete meal - at least one meal a day. She made up some stuff and put it in the freezer before the surgery - which is good because she is quite a picky eater and would rather starve than eat what she does not like= found that out the hospital. I am worried about her though because she is not eating much or doing much and I am afraid that she might think that she will lose weight by not eating much - but instead be losing muscle mass.

It is important to eat a balanced diet- at least try to get some fruits, veggies, whole grains, beans and nuts in your diet every day. That is very important for your body to have what it needs to work properly. Anyway I am trying to do a better job of eating better. I really need to lose weight. I gained about 15 pounds through chemo with all the steroids and such. And so I would really like to lose at least the 15 pounds but so far I have had no luck. I am going to have to put a bit more effort into it and at least work towards being healthier and hopefully by doing so I will feel better and may even lose weight- who knows...

Well I better close - we are going to have to get some special bar to put up in my MIL bathroom to make it easier for her to get up off the toilet and probably put one in the shower area as well. I am going to have to get to bed early tonight because I am already very tired. Might have to do with the rain we have gotten or the over cast weather.

Sharing a Laugh...

Just a little funny to share with you all. This was something that was floating around Facebook - and since I have felt this way on at least a couple of occasions in the last couple of weeks - I thought it was quite funny!



Today the sun is out and I am trying to get as much of my yard mowed while I have a chance- hoping to get back on here later today or tomorrow to give an update. Right now I am taking a break- it is quite hot and humid outside and I was all sweaty. So I am cooling off a bit before getting back out there to get more done. I hope you all are doing well. :O)

Today...

In just a few short hours will be my one year check up from the end of chemo. And since part of my cancer "adventure" has been about me sharing in order to help others better understand what it's like to travel this road, I thought that I would share something else- once you are diagnosed with cancer - I think that you always have a fear that the cancer will come back. Yes there may be times that it isn't an active fear but just wait till the check up come along and you will feel it raise it'...s ugly head again. I have had others share these same feelings with me so I know I'm not alone and that helps.
I don't know if it's because I'm at the year check up or because I've been under a whole lot of stress lately but I have been extremely tired and stressed and that adds to my fear.
I would really appreciate your prayers - for peace and certainly that the cancer has not come back. I can't wait till this dr's visit is behind me. Thank you so much.

The Invisible Wall... and a Reason For It.

I have learned a lesson lately and I really wanted to share it here - that way maybe some day when I have forgotten this lesson -cause I probably will- I will read through these posts and be able to benefit from this lesson. And at the same time maybe you too will learn something as well.

As you all know I have been on the Nominating Committee for our church over the last couple of months. And yes it is taking much longer than I had thought it would - but I am not surprised. During this time I have had times that I needed to share my opinions, thoughts or feelings about certain things. And then with this food bank stuff(which I will have an update about that sometime later this week) has also raised times for me to voice my thoughts about things. Then there is just my regular life in general when I have shared my thoughts, feelings and opinions. And sometimes those thoughts, feelings, and opinions are not really appreciated. And in fact, what I learned this week is that sometimes when a person shares their thoughts, feelings and/or opinions - that it might actually build a wall between you and the hearer. Sometimes those that you are talking about may have thoughts, feelings, or opinions about things totally different from yours and because of that a wall is built.

The reason why I feel that this is important to know and understand is that there may be times when you feel that wall and don't understand why it is there. And if you understand that because your views on things are different than theirs - that might help you understand why there could be the walls built. But it does not always mean that you did any thing wrong - it just might mean that you have differing opinions.

Another thing I was reminded of is acceptance. I need to work on accepting others better. Accepting others does not mean that you have to agree with what they are doing or what they say - but that you can have love for them- love that comes from Jesus and is able to flow to those around you - in accepting them.

I was needing to be reminded of this because I may have to work with a difficult person - and my first instinct is to say NO WAY. I don't like working with difficult people. I have enough difficult people in my life. I mean seriously - don't we all?

So as I am working with this difficult person and all the other difficult people in my life - I will remember that I need to have a spirit of acceptance and love towards them. And if I feel as if there is a wall - then I can understand that it is just because of differing opinions and accept it for what it is.

Update

Thank you for the prayers for my Mother in law. The surgery went longer than expected - well about double the amount of time that they said it would. But thankfully that is behind her. When we finally got to go back to see her- she was in a LOT of pain. Apparently she was having problems with low blood pressure- and the pain meds were bringing it lower- so they were having to work to adjust things in order to keep her blood pressure steady. It was hard to see her hurting to much. The nurse was trying to help raise her blood pressure and had gently moved her arm in order to put it up on a pillow a bit and that hurt her enough -that although she had her eyes closed and was out of it she was letting them know she was hurting and to put her arm back down.

ICU was backed up so it took till late afternoon to get her moved over there. She did finally get to resting comfortably. And did good over night. Woke up hurting at one point but they took care of it an she did well the rest of the night. This morning when my husband called they had given her more pain meds and then had just gotten her up to a chair. The Dr wants her to get into the chair at least 3 times a day- in order to prevent her from getting pneumonia.

Tomorrow I have my one year appointment with my oncologist - please keep me in your prayers. I have been so tired and weary and don't know if it is all the extra stress and such or if it could be something worse. I just continue to pray that the cancer does not come back. I will go by and see my Mother in law after my appointments- lab and with Dr.

Well I just wanted to check in and up date you all on how she was doing. I imagine it will be a long recovery for her. Thank you for your continued prayers for her. :0)

Thank You's and Prayer Request

Thank you to those who have left encouraging comments~ they sure mean a lot and are helping me process the things going on right now. A good friend reminded me that Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son Isaac but once the got to the mountain that the sacrifice was to be given and Abraham had surrendered to God's will and Isaac had su rendered to what his father had asked him to do - the God provided a ram(I believe) for the sacrifice. Sometimes we just need to be willing.

Another thing that was pointed out to me is that it takes courage to step down and also humility. Speaking of this, something interesting happened on Friday. I was fixing to run some errands and I pull ended out a notebook that I keep in my care in order to have a place to write notes and such. And guess what I saw written? "Testimony or Title" I had spheard a sermon just a couple of weeks ago and it really seemed to be an important message so I had written it down. Once I saw that it reinforced to me that I need to be humble and allow God to work things out.

 And another very important thing that one of you sweet readers pointed out is that more than likely the hostility and vengeful spirit that the current title holder seems to be directing at me probably does not have much to do with me. The truth is that I Pham just the one that she probably feels is between herself and what she wants and that is to continue in her position.

This weekend I reassured her that our pastor is working on getting a room that she has her sights on now. And tonight at the church board meeting there will be a vote to see if it is accepted. I may not know anything till Thursday when we have four next nominating committee meeting. I would like to ask for prayer requests for God's Will to be done. And IF God wants me in this position that it will be under peaceful conditions or at least that He will give me peace about it. I will be sure and up date when ever I know something about it.

Also another prayer request~ this morning my Mother in law will be having surgery. Please be praying for her. Thank you so much! :0)

Courageous

I am so sorry that it seems that I have been putting you off by not sharing what the next courageous step was going to be. That was not my intentions at all. It's been a busy week and information overload- really once last night got here - the information kind of got to an overload point. And today I am disappointed and really trying to sort things out.

Anyway here is the basic information of what is going on: As you all know I am on the nominating committee at my church. This has required a lot of time and energy. Our church has a Food Bank ministry and the person who is running it(and has been running it for 15 years) was unhappy that she did not get a room that she wanted. She wanted a bigger room and closer to another door in the church. Anyway so she decided to decline when asked to lead out again this year. I have a good friend who is on the team and because she, too, has been on the team for 15 years was asked to be the head. And she said no because she did not want the Leader who had declined the job to think she was betraying her. So we had not one who would step up to the plate and take the job. So because I did not want it to close down and because I have really wanted to help out with the Food Bank for quite some time, offered to be the head of it. My good friend said she would do what ever she could do to help out. So although I did not set out on purpose to be the head of it - it seemed as if that was the way that God was leading. So I began to prepare myself for the challenge. I had a notebook in which I wrote down all sorts of notes that I thought would be important to remember.


So I thought that I would have support of the team. And in order for who ever is the lead to be successful they will need the support of the team. But after last night - I realized that the Leader was really not ready to let it go and that some, if not all, of the team were not ready to let her go either. So although there seems to be some negotiations that will have to be made- she still wants a bigger room- I looks like they will work with her and try to convince her to continue on.

I would appreciate all of your prayers because tonight- I plan on requesting that my name be removed from the leadership position of this office due to the fact that I do not feel like the current leader or her team are ready to let her go and that in order for this ministry to be successful the team will need to be behind and supportive of the leader.

Also please pray for my husband and I because truthfully we are both hurt. I feel as if these people did not have faith in me to be able to be successful. And although I know that it would have taken some time for me to know all the ins and outs of the Food Bank - I am convinced that if God lead the way - He would supply all the wisdom and knowledge needed.
There are so many emotions and thoughts going through my head right now. I have a lot to process and I pray that God can help me learn what I need to learn from this experience.

So - courage is not needed in order to run the Food Bank - but courage is needed to gracefully step down and without tears.

God's Faithfulness

Just wanted to share a little testimony of God's faithfulness to us- when we earnestly want to understand a spiritual matter.

So this morning I was thinking about a matter that some Christians are questioning right now, and I told God that I really wanted to understand the Truth in this matter. So I'm having quiet time and a Bible verse just jumps out at me and I begin to study this verse- looking up other verses in order to better understand the verse- and wouldn't you know... it 10 minutes later or so- and the answer jumps out at me clear as day! 

 The Bible is FULL on answers, beautiful promises and wonderful guidance in how we should live our lives and conduct ourselves- we only need to make time to study it. And of course ask the Holy Spirit to guide us into all truth! 

Praise God for His faithfulness! 

 I hope each of you will take some time to see what God has to share with you today. God bless.

My Word- not Just for this Year, But for My Entire Life

So it seems that I have figured out the word for this year. Actually I am beginning to believe that this word is not for this year only but for my entire life. I first began to really feel called to this word in 2013, but it really did not become a word to me until 2014. My first time to realize that this was my word - I was sitting at my oncology waiting room and as I looked around the waiting room I realized that what I was looking at was "courage" it took courage to go through chemo and then to go back again 3 weeks later( that was my schedule).

During the whole year of 2014 I went through so many surgeries and procedures and testing that I had never went through before. And I continued to feel the call to be courageous. Each time I faced another test, procedure, I felt God giving me the strength and courage to face each thing.

And then we look at another thing that called for courage and that is when I lost my hair. When losing my hair and having my husband shave my head- a lot of courage was needed to look into the mirror that first time. I am so glad that I took the time to ask God to help me be ok with what I saw- because it could have been a much harder experience. Going out in public wearing my hats took a lot of courage. The first time that I went with out my hat with my hair only being about 1/4 of an inch "long" took a whole lot of courage. And it isn't just one time that takes courage but every single time you go out.

 So now we are up to date - lately I have felt God leading me into situations which call for courage. When I got my phone call asking if I would be on the nominating committee - I felt that God was calling me to be courageous and participate.

But there is another development that has recently happened that has really made me realize that Courageous as my word- not only for this year but for my life. And I am hoping tomorrow I will be able to get back on and share with you all. It looks like I have two appointments to take my mother in law to tomorrow and then an appointment on Friday. And if everything stays on schedule we will have to get her to the hospital by 5:15am on Monday for her surgery. That will be a very, VERY long day for me.

Anyway I will be getting back on as soon as I can to up date what is going on in my life. See you soon.

 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; Do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 NKJV.

God's Promises.....series... Hebrews 13:5

(sorry this is late)

God's Promises

by

John Bradshaw

 

..."I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Hebrews 13:5b

I once read about a man convicted of a terrible crime who spent 35 years in prison. He was finally released when DNA evidence revealed he was innocent of the crimes with which he had been charged. His elderly mother said that while her son was in prison, he turned away from God because he thought God has abandoned him.

 

Does God do that? Does He abandon people? I can understand why an innocent man in prison might feel as though God had forgotten all about him, but the Bible say in Hebrews 13:5, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." When confronted by job loss, when affected by domestic discord, when suffering serious illness, or when distressed by grief or injustice, you can be certain that in spite of appearances, God is still with you.

 

The man who had been wrongly imprisoned came back to faith in God before His release from prison. But if you're tempted to quit on God because of your circumstances, don't do it. He will never leave nor forsake you. He has promised!



Home IS Where the Heart IS

(first half of this was written yesterday - just didn't have time to finish it)

Today I was reminded of something I knew, but did not realize how true it was. I am a Homebody. I love to be at home - taking care of my house, yard, garden, animals and such. This week I have had several extra appointment to take my MIL to- and with drive time and waiting in waiting rooms- I have been away from home a lot this week. Today was the day I figured out how much I was missing my home.

My MIL had her appointment this morning. After that she, thoughtfully took us out to eat at a nice little Italian place. After I dropped her off I had a few errands of my own to run. And also needed to go by two grocery stores to pick up some groceries. Believe it or not I still have a long list of stuff to get at Walmart tomorrow. I hit Aldi's and HEB today. I get things that I can get cheaper at those places first and then get the rest from Walmart. I had not gone to Walmart at all last week so that is one reason why my list is so long. By the time I got home - I had been gone over 7 hours. Plus I have a meeting to go to tonight - so it's not like I have time to get into any of the jobs that I have here that I really need to do. There have been a few things on my list of things to do that have been moved every single day to the next day - that I still have not done. I have gotten a few of the big jobs done or worked on that I did not think I would be able to get to - so that is good.

And after the last 3 days of going to appointments and such - tomorrow would be a great day to stay home - but no. I have my BOM meeting in the morning and at least a trip to Walmart to take care of. Then I am hoping to be able to come home and get some stuff done here.


Ok - so I wanted to share a couple of little things I found at a favorite thrift store:

 A brand new book and some dino cookie cutters - for 50 cents.

 

This heart - I am planning on trying to paint it with a water proof paint so that I can use it in my garden to label a plant. For a quarter it was a great deal

 

 I found this cute magnet - for a quarter - it is a great addition to my refrigerator.

 

And I just had to share a cute photo of one of our chickens. Isn't she beautiful?!

 

 

Please keep me in your prayer. I am super tired. Actually very weary. It has been a very busy week and I am just done. But I still have things I need to get done. So I am off to finish up my list.