Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow but slowing returning

Before cancer, I had the luxury of going out in public when ever I wanted and did not draw unwanted attention to myself. Now- I am not so lucky. There are days that I can go do what ever I want to and the looks and stares don't bother me too much, but other days..... Other days - it is very draining to me to deal with it. And I am so happy to get back to my car and be a little less available to be stared at. I know some people would think - what is the big deal? I have even had people tell me that I should not let it bother me so much. And yes that is from people that still have hair- and have as much hair as they would like to have. It DOES make a difference to those of us who don't have the "hair style" we have by choice. My hair now is about 1 1/2 inches - maybe a bit longer in places - not sure. And it seems to flare backwards just over my ears. One day this week I even got some of my Paul Mitchell products and try to use my blow dryer and round brush to help it look nicer. Guess what? I still don't have enough hair even to try to style it to make it look nice. That is discouraging.

Anyway I am trying to stay positive about everything and remember that at least I am on this side of chemo and that every day I am closer to my hair being more of a style I would like it to be.

I know you guys might get tired of hearing me complain about my lack of hair- I am really trying not to complain about it too much. I am so very lucky that my husband is very understanding and has listened to me complain about my hair - many, many times. The reason why I wanted to share about this today - is for one reason - today was one of the tough to be out in public kind of days. And two- I am hoping that by me sharing if any of you ever end up with friends or family in this situation - that you will have a better understanding of what they may be going through. I know that some people going through chemo and hair loss that the hair loss may not be a big deal to them. But for me - because my hair has been one of my best assets - it has been a very tough thing to deal with. And the fact that even though I am 3 months and 2 weeks out from having chemo - this effect just keeps having around and hanging around.

One day - my hair will be a length that I can style it and enjoy it and be happy with it again. I just continue to pray that God will give me the grace, patience, and courage to get through each and every day till then.