So to be honest with you all (and I don't think this is the first time that I have admitted to this) over the last 9 months or so - I have struggled with the idea that maybe God does not love me. You know sometimes when we have bad things come into our lives it tends to be harder to trust that God still loves you.
Early on in this Cancer "adventure" - a dear family member was telling me her cancer scare. Here are the basics. When she went in for a well woman exam - a very aggressive cancer cell showed up. In fact, the Dr said that the best thing for her to do would be to have a hysterectomy - and as soon as possible. The surgery was done and no cancer showed up. The Dr. told her "Someone upstairs must really love you!" And as I heard the story instantly what popped into my head was - well then he doesn't love me because not only did they find the aggressive cancer - but it had grown enough to have to go forward with chemo.
Over all I believed that God loved me - but I went through bouts of feeling unloved by Him. Another area that I have struggled with is in the area of believing God's promises. Sometimes I just question if the promises were meant for me- or just to the people in the Bible - for example
"As your days, so shall your strength be"
Deut. 33:25b
Now this is the blessing with which Moses the man of God
blessed the children of Israel before his death.
Deut. 33:1
So as you can see this chapter is about the blessing that Moses blessed the children of Israel before his death. So I had a hard time at first claiming this blessing for myself. But it has been a mainstay of versus that have tremendously helped me over the past year - and not only me - but I have shared this verse with MANY people.
Over this past week - my studies in the Bible took me to:
and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. 22 And therefore "it was accounted to him for righteousness."
Romans 4:21-22
And as I was looking in my commentary to dig deeper - I came across some information that made me stop in my tracks. I knew that this was an important lesson for me to FINALLY get.
"Abraham gave glory to God by his firm confidence in God's promises. Thus he acknowledged God's omnipotence. In this way all who believe in the divine promises do honor to God. They bear testimony that God is worthy of confidence. Abraham also gave glory o God in action as well as in thought by his prompt obedience.(Gen. 17:22,23)"
"Real faith means conviction. The life of faith is a life of confidence and assurance. Thus Paul could say, "I know whom have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day" (2 Tim.1:12) It is an error to suppose that lack of such conviction is an evidence of humility. On the contrary, to doubt God's promises or His love is to dishonor Him, because to doubt is to question His character and His word. It is harder for many to believe that God can love and forgive them, notwithstanding their sinfulness, that it was for the aged patriarch to believe that he would be the father of many nations. But confidence in God that He can do what seems to us impossible is as necessary in the one case as in the other."
"Abraham's knowledge of God and trust in God were such that the patriarch was ready to accept all that God said and to obey all that God commanded."
This really convicted me - that I need to have faith in God's love and in His promises.
So the theme of my week is:
Trust God's Love for YOU
And
You Can Trust His Promises!
And these truths are true for you as well. :O)
Thank you so much for sharing this and for sharing your struggle. I can relate with that struggle so well.
ReplyDeleteAnn- I bet you can relate. And I can only imagine how hard some of these things that I struggle with - would be for you as a mother- having to come to terms with the things going on. I continue to pray for you and your family. <> May God continue to strengthen you and to comfort you, Lisa :O)
DeleteSo beautiful! I'm glad you shared these encouraging words.
ReplyDeleteThank you Heidi - that means a lot coming from you - you write in such a beautiful way. Your writings always bless me. God bless, Lisa :O)
DeleteI enjoy your writings because you are so open about the good stuff, the not so good stuff and your struggles as a Christian. This post is encouraging to me because I have been wondering just where is God during some personal struggles of mine and with all the awful things happening around the world. Satan had me questioning my faith but I kept on praying and never let go of my desire to trust God more. I feel like I have actually grown as a Christian during this time. So, I hope you understand how your willingness to share your own struggles helped me feel like I am not such a bad Christian for having questions, too. Thanks for allowing God's love to shine through you so that others can find peace and encouragement.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda- Thank you so much for letting me know that you are encouraged by what I am writing and sharing. It is also encouraging to me to hear that other people struggle in the same ways that I do. Life is hard and I am so thankful that I have a Savior that understands and is always there for us. During the difficult times in our lives - if nothing else positive comes out of the situation - if we draw closer to God it was worth the difficulties in our lives. God bless you and you continue to follow after Him~ Lisa :O)
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