It's PCS- not PMS...

It seems ever since I such a rough time after chemo- that the week before my next chemo - I become more emotional and a little more crabby as well. So this week-end it was raring its ugly head again and I said to my husband what is causing this - and he said well it seems like each time that you are coming up on the next chemo - you get a bit more emotional and all. Well yeah - I see it too. I am not surprised cause it's like - ok when you feel crappy and it just continues for like 5+ days or so - you really try to avoid getting that sickness again. And with chemo - you know what to expect and you know how you will be feeling and it is hard not to be a little apprehensive about its approach. I am so thankful that this coming Friday will be chemo #5. I am glad that I have 4 of them behind me- but sure wish that this was my last treatment.

Another thing that may cause my PCS - is that on Sabbaths when I go to church - I wear my wig. I actually don't wear it very often other than to church- I guess I am still uncomfortable wearing it - I just feel like people can see right through it - that they can tell I am wearing a wig. So when I get home from church - I take the wig off- and I guess maybe the seeing myself with hair for part of the day - kind of reminds me of when I had hair. So I feel that could also cause me to be emotional.

It's been a little over two months since I have lost my hair - and to be perfectly honest with you guys - I don't think I am every going to be comfortable with losing my hair.
It's funny how there are times even now that I will put a shirt on and I will reach my hand back there - to pull my hair from under my shirt- then I realize I have no hair.

There are also times that I come out of the shower and I put my towel up and then I catch myself reaching for the brush to brush my hair.

After our granddaughter left one day - her brush was sitting near me and I reached for it and was about to brush my hair.. then stopped.

There are times that I don't have a hat on while I am going around in my house and I catch myself to almost go outside to do something - without it and then am SO thankful that I remembered.

 I honestly feel that it would have been SO much easier to go through this whole thing - had I not lost my hair.
Good news is that so far - I still have half of my eye brows left- and a good amount of my eye lashes left- I started out with a lot of both of those- thankfully so it is not too awfully bad to have lost what I have of the eye brows. I can notice that I have lost a decent amount of the hair on my arms. I am so hoping I can hold onto the hair I have left through the rest of this. But I am not holding my breath.

Oh and I will be sharing some great photos of one of the places that we went for our date. I think you all will enjoy them. I am hoping to be able to work on that on Monday. Our son has his daughter this week end so we have been busy.