Words Unspoken

Have you ever been in a situation in which you really wanted to defend yourself? Maybe you are in a situation that seems really unfair? Maybe someone has unfairly judged you? Or you feel the punishment is worse than the transgression? I have been in that kind of situation several times before and find myself there yet again. Will this be the last time? Sadly - I don't think so. 

I have really wanted to write a letter to defend myself. I wanted to point out that although it took me a while, I have figured some things out. I have wanted to write this letter so badly that several times I pulled out my spiral notebook and I wrote a letter sharing how I felt and how I feel that we both contributed to where we find ourselves.

Last week I had the blessing of spending an hour or two with one of my best friends. We talked about so many things, trying to catch up since we hadn't had a chance to visit in quite some time. It was great. I shared with her about the struggle I have been going through and what I wanted to do. She gave me some excellent advice- Don't Do It! Of course a bit of self wanted to say but I should get to have a say of how I feel. But the truth is that me writing a letter won't solve the problem. It would only be a way to get my two cents out and really that isn't important. 

Later I was talking to my husband about my friends advice and he said, "Write the letter." I thought he was arguing against my friends advice but thankfully kept my mouth shut because he continued on, "Then pray about it and the put it in your Bible and say, "It's yours God- I done with it." He explained that that way when you go to your Bible you will be reminded that you have given it to God. If that monster of resentment raises his ugly head- this process may need to be repeated. I really like to live at peace with people and when the person not at peace with your is a family member it is so much harder to let it go. 

I am so thankful to have gotten this wise counsel. I need to let this go- but it has been so very challenging. I am reminded of one of my favorite verses: 

14 The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.

Exodus 14:14

I have been in a similar situation like this in the past and I had to fight through the wanting to defend myself, but God kept reminding me that it wasn't my battle to fight. 

This situation has hurt me tremendously but God has also reminded me that He loves me with an everlasting love so it's ok if others don't. I can count on Him to love me unconditionally. You and I can count on His love, mercy and grace and I am so thankful. Others may not extend these things to us, but God will. We can count on Him. 

Some words are best left unspoken. And if you just can't, maybe you too, can write a letter and put it in your Bible and say, 

"It's yours God- I'm done with it." 

And by the way - I placed the letter on the same page as Exodus 14:14 in my Bible- so I can also be reminded that this is the Lord's battle = not mine.  

And if you need a bit more help with letting something painful go - listen to Jason Gray's song "I'm Gonna Let It Go"