Not Again...

It seems I have been learning and relearning a lot of lessons lately.

This past weekend when I was writing the post about true beauty something happened that made me feel less than. There it was again, that self-conscience feeling again. "Oh man," I thought. "I had really thought I had gotten past those ugly feelings." Then I realized that because I had been writing about growth- about coming to a place in my life where I was realizing that God created me and I needed to come to a place of acceptance, that I was under attack again.

Here they were again- those thoughts of not being good enough. Then I remembered that this was not the first time that this had happened to me. Nope. And it won't be the last either. Anyway it just seems to happen this way to me. How about it you?

I come to a place of thinking that I've made an improvement in an area of my life and I decide to write a blog post about it in order to encourage others along this journey called life. And guess what happens? The adversary rears his ugly head and, I, too often fall for his trickery.....again.

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary
the devil walks around like a roaring lion,
seeking whom he may devour."
1 Peter 5:8

This time I was quicker to catch on and thank goodness, move on with confidence from my Heavenly Father. The adversary may try to knock me down,but God's on my side. I just need to keep my focus on Him. And allow Him to fight those battles for me.

"The LORD will fight for you and you shall hold your peace."
Exodus 14:14
 

True Beauty

There is another lesson I have learned over the last few months. And that is a person's hair - whether it be your eye brows, eye lashes, or your hair-  really make up ALOT of what you look like. And when you lose them there is a big difference.

A lot of people spend big bucks on having their hair done or their eye brows done. But those things are only superficial.

That kind of beauty is only skin deep, but that is not true beauty. True beauty begins on the inside and radiates outward. Have you ever meant anyone like this? I have and they have blessed my life tremendously!

True beauty takes you from being self conscience to being humble, realizing that God- the creator of the universe  created you. And being OK with yourself even though there may be aspects of yourself that you have not been happy with.


Humility that takes the focus off of self and puts it onto God- knowing that he created you for a purpose. And the sooner that you accept the person He created you to be, the sooner you can put your focus from self to fulfilling your purpose.

"For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully
And wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well."
Psalm139:13-14

True Happiness

"If you want to be happy, you have to be happy on purpose.

 When you wake up, you can't just wait to see what kind of day you'll have.

You have to decide what kind of day you'll have."

 Joel Osteen

Although I do believe that we need to make a choice and decide to be happy, there is so much more to true happiness than just making a choice.

During chemo I learned what the true source of happiness is. It was the week after chemo and to be perfectly honest with you, during those weeks my brain did not seem to function quite as well.
 Maybe I was very distracted with my tummy being so sick. Anyway during this week normally my quiet time consisted of reading my devotional in my "Streams in the Dessert" book and prayer.

Well one day, several days after chemo I opened a book about prayer(the ABC's of Prayer) and read the chapter that I was on. It ended up being one of the best things that I did!  In this chapter it spoke of praying for healing- and had a list of verses. So I began to look up each verse. And by opening my Bible and looking for treasure, I began to feel joy and happiness. And to be honest it had been a while since I had felt those feelings at such a great level. I felt joyful and it felt good.

So while I agree that we need to choose to be happy, I believe that true happiness comes only from God. And only when we spend time developing our relationship with Him are we able to receive the good and perfect gifts of joy, happiness, and peace.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is a gift from above,
and comes from down from the a Father oh lights,
with whom there is no variation of shadow of turning."
James 1:17

 

Blessed Assurance

Blessed Assurance

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Chorus:
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Saviour all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Saviour all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight.
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Saviour am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.
--Fanny J. Crosby.

Just checking in..

So this week I decided that I need to start working towards having more energy. So on Tuesday I had to run to the bank, on my way home - I stopped at the park and walked. I made myself walk 3 small rounds - equaling 1 mile. I was tired when I was done, but decided to run across the street and vacuum out my car. Later I worked on weed eating some in our back yard.

Today I decided that I would get our yard mowed. I first weed eated around things in the front yard so it would look nice once I was done mowing. Then I tackled mowing. I was doing just fine till I got the lawn mower tangled up with the trampoline... lol. I usually mow everything around the trampoline and then I use the mower to push the trampoline out of the way. Well this time I did not do it quite right and ended up having one tire over the bar of the trampoline. Well thankfully my son was off work and in no time he was here to help me get them untangled. Once that was taken care of - I was able to finish the yard. It was so nice to sit on my back porch and admire our yard. I also got the garden watered and several other jobs around the house. I had wanted to work on cleaning the back porch and that area  -but did not get to that today. That will be on my list for later- maybe tomorrow.
Tomorrows list has - clean the RV and steam clean the carpets in it. I have wanted to do that for a LONG time and just have not gotten to it. It really is a good idea to make up a list of what you want to accomplish. There are days that I have felt like maybe I did not do much - but once I look at my list and mark things off - I am happy to see that I got done much more than I thought I had. Lately my lists have had items that have just been moved from day to day - hoping that I would get around to doing the job. That is how cleaning the carpets in the RV has been. And I know that it will feel good when I finally get that job done and taken care of.

I am tired tonight- don't think I will have any problems going to bed tonight. I have really pushed myself the last two days. But it feels good. I want to be in better shape and I want to have more energy.

Oh just a little funny - So I am talking to my husband about being a little sore- and he said, "Yeah - cause you pushed it too much." I said, "I need to get in better shape." His reply~ "Round is a shape." LOL - He is so funny. I did not take offense to it at all cause he has referred to himself with that same idea. I thought it was funny. But truth is _ I do want to increase my energy level and I want to be in better physical shape.

Oh - one more cool thing. Today my husband went to see our primary care Dr. I had made copies of my blood work to send with him for her- because even though I know that the Dr's are suppose to be working together - they are not. And I knew that it would be helpful for her to know what was going on. So when my husband gave her the blood work - she looked at it and was very surprised that the levels were as good as they were. She even asked if I had any problems causing my chemo's to be put off- and he told her no. She was very happy to hear that. I really have been lucky. It is not uncommon at all for chemo patients to have to post pone a treatment or two do to their blood levels being too low. I am thankful that I am done - cause like I have said before - more of my levels were getting low or high and I don't know if I could have handled another one without having it post poned.

Poetry Corner

Marah and Elim

 

Today 'tis Elim with its palms and wells,
And happy shade for desert weariness;
'Twas Marah yesterday, all rock and sand,
Unshaded solitude and dreariness.
Yet the same desert holds them both, the same
Hot breezes wander o'er the lonely ground;
The same low stretch of valley shelters both,
And the same mountains compass them around.

So it is here with us on earth, and so
I do remember it has ever been;
The bitter and the sweet, the grief and joy,
Lie near together, but a day between.

Sometimes God turns our bitter into sweet,
Sometimes He gives us pleasant watersprings;
Sometimes He shades us with His pillar cloud,
And sometimes to a blessed palm shade brings.

What matters it? The time will not be long;
Marah and Elim will alike be passed;
Our desert wells and palms will soon be done,
We reach the "City of our God" at last.
O happy land! beyond these lonely hills,
Where gush in joy the everlasting springs;
O holy Paradise! above these heavens,
Where we shall end our desert wanderings.
--Horatius Bonar.

He Knoweth the way that I take...

Good Morning! I hope you all are doing well. I am doing pretty good. Still have some stomach problems and such but I am SO thankful that God has been with me every step of the way and has given me strength to get through all of this. So I am focusing on God and His blessings!
Today I was so encouraged by reading my "Ministries of Healing" book.

"Morning, noon, and night, let gratitude as a sweet perfume ascend to heaven." MH 253
The whole chapter was so encouraging and when I was done - I felt so much more joy. I will be sharing a poem tomorrow that was shared in this chapter. And then some song lyrics on Thursday.

I am so thankful that God brings me just the right things to read to help encourage my soul.

IF you would like to read the chapter that I read today - click here.

Below - was my "Streams in the Desert" devotional. It was well worth the read and encouraging so I thought I would share it as well. I hope it blesses you as well. :O)

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He knoweth the way that I take (Job 23:10).

 

Believer! What a glorious assurance! This way of thine--this, it may be, a crooked, mysterious, tangled way--this way of trial and tears. "He knoweth it." The furnace seven times heated--He lighted it. There is an Almighty Guide knowing and directing our footsteps, whether it be to the bitter Marah pool, or to the joy and refreshment of Elim.

 

That way, dark to the Egyptians, has its pillar of cloud and fire for His own Israel. The furnace is hot; but not only can we trust the hand that kindles it, but we have the assurance that the fires are lighted not to consume, but to refine; and that when the refining process is completed (no sooner--no later) He brings His people forth as gold. 

When they think Him least near, He is often nearest. "When my spirit was overwhelmed, then thou knewest my path." Do we know of ONE brighter than the brightest radiance of the visible sun, visiting our chamber with the first waking beam of the morning; an eye of infinite tenderness and compassion following us throughout the day, knowing the way that we take?

 

The world, in its cold vocabulary in the hour of adversity, speaks of "Providence"--"the will of Providence"--"the strokes of Providence." PROVIDENCE! what is that? Why dethrone a living, directing God from the sovereignty of His own earth? Why substitute an inanimate, death-like abstraction, in place of an acting, controlling, personal Jehovah?

 

How it would take the sting from many a goading trial, to see what Job saw (in his hour of aggravated woe, when every earthly hope lay prostrate at his feet)--no hand but the Divine. He saw that hand behind the gleaming swords of the Sabeans--he saw it behind the lightning flash--he saw it giving wings to the careening tempest--he saw it in the awful silence of his rifled home.

 

"The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord!" Thus seeing God in everything, his faith reached its climax when this once powerful prince of the desert, seated on his bed of ashes, could say, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust him."
--Macduff