Two Main Reasons...And a New Rule

There were two main reasons why I made public my 50 by 50 challenge that I made with myself. But had I known of the unexpected results I would have totally kept it to myself. Which has led me to a new rule in my life- that I wish i had have made years ago. Stick around and I will cover them all.

The main reason why I made my 50 by 50 challenge goal public was to have some accountability. And to be honest setting this goal has helped me stick with watching my weight through the ups and downs. There were many times I wanted to give up but that goal kept me from what I have done several times in the past~ giving up and ending up gaining all the weight back - sometimes even more than what I had lost.

The second  reason that I shared my goal was to encourage others and to be encouraged by others as we traveled this journey together.

But one of the results of making my weight loss journey public has not been positive. And really it's several things. When you talk about losing weight or the need to lose weight - it causes those around you to feel pressure - like they need to lose weight even if in reality they don't need to lose any weight. I have shared with those around me - sometimes in order to get some encouragement but instead of encouragement- many tend to respond with their own desire to lose weight and to be honest it has made me uncomfortable. Which is, I guess how I made others feel like when sharing my goals with them. I wanted encouragement but that is not what I got. But this is not the worse thing I got. We are working towards that....

It seems to me that among ladies that when someone loses weight it stirs up jealousy- what is really sad is when the jealousy comes from those around you who are at their ideal weight or very close~ meaning sometimes those around you much smaller than you- then to act a bit jealous - by comments they make. I don't understand this at all. I mean looking at me - it is obvious that I need to lose some weight. But why would ladies much smaller than me act as if they are jealous of the weight I lose?

The worst thing that has happened because of my 50 by 50 goal is the lose of a relationship I had. There is so much to this story and truthfully I do not totally understand  why the relationship dissolved to the point it has but I know that this goal had a lot to do with it. And honestly part of it is my own fault- some of my own behavior - which I will go into a bit in another post called "Hazards of a Recovering People Pleaser"

Anyway I was sharing with my Sabbath School leader about some of this situation and she said, "that is one reason why I don't share any thing about my weight lose goals." And it makes perfect sense to me. And it is one reason why I have made the decision not to share any more of my weight lose goal publically. This will be my own private things that I will discuss with my husband only. I really never got enough encouragement to make it worth all of the negative results of sharing anyway.

Learning these negatives to sharing about your weight loss goals have really worked against me. It has caused a lot of pain and a lot of hurt. And I wish I could have learned this lesson a much easier way. I wanted encouragement but really all I got was stumbling blocks of hurt.

So I would like to take this opportunity to say that if me sharing this goal with you in any way caused you discomfort or pain - I am very sorry. That was never my intention. Losing weight for me is very challenging and so I just shared so I could get some encouragement. So yes - sharing the goal did help hold me accountable, but the negatives to sharing it have outweighed the good. So my new rule is weight loss goals will not be shared. Never too old to set new rules for yourself.

Oh and another thing - if anyone shares with me about their weight loss journey - my goal will to be as encouraging and supportive as I can - because really that is all we want is cheer leaders to cheer us onto victory!!!