For much of my life to this point I have worked to keep peace. And there is nothing wrong with being a peace maker- there is even a blessing connected to being a peace maker in the Bible.
"Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God."
Matthew 5:9
The problem begins when the pendulum swings too far to one side causing a person to try to please everyone around them in order to be accepted and loved. Being a people pleaser can cause you to keep quiet even when situations are going on that might need to be addressed. And this is where the hazards come in- because when you are recovering from being a people pleaser you feel the need to ever so often to deal with situations that may have been going on for a while. the problem is that sometimes you deal with them in inopportune times - like not when the boundary is crossed but another time- causing more problems. Sometimes recovering can cause you to feel the need to set a boundary when maybe it was just your reactions to the offense needed to be addressed. In other words, when you are one direction from the healthy mark and work towards being healthy - sometimes you miss the mark and swing to the other side- into another unhealthy area. In which case may cause some damage to relationships - especially when you have mostly just kept quiet about the offensives in the past. It is quiet surprising to those around you.
The hope is that the loved ones around you will give you grace and understanding as you work towards healthier ways to communicate and deal with life. Sadly this does not always happen. This experience is helping me see the value of grace. Where maybe before I just didn't understand it. And I feel grace is important for us to understand. Especially when we are looking at the grace God gives. It is something we don't deserve and yet He is "full of grace." John 1:14
The pendulum was defiantly to one direction as i behaved as a people pleaser. And I have been working on recovering from this - the pendulum has swung to the other direction a time or two or..... God is still working on me. Others may give up on me but thankfully God never will. He has promised to complete the work He has begun in me. I just hope that my friends and family can continue to love and accept me through this journey even if I make mistakes. That's all I can do. I am not perfect- far, far from it. But God is still working on me. And I am thankful even when it is painful.
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man?
If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10
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