Truths About My Life

Over this week-end, while spending time with family I found out something that kind of surprised me and in the end helped me realize some truths about my life.

For some reason the divorce of my parents, which happened 33 years ago, came up. My mother then continued to say that for me it was the worse thing that had happened to me. Apparently it had affected me much more than my sister who is a couple of years older than me.

Later in the day as I was thinking about this conversation - I realized some truths about it. I was young and I did not have very many tools of life in order to help me process things and help me understand what was going on. I had been so sheltered up to this point in my life.

I still remember the day - and the conversation that happened that day that I found out. My Mother, sister, and I were driving to some friends' house that lived several towns over from us. I was sitting in the backseat. My mother said that she and my dad were getting a divorce. The naive 11 year old in the back seat said, "What's a divorce?" I had no idea of what it was. And over the next few months we moved from the small town of Pecos, Texas to Oklahoma City. From a quiet neighborhood to an apartment complex in the middle of a large city.

The divorce of my parent's was a tough experience for me, and it caused me to have quite a bit of baggage that I carried into my own marriage. It has taken me years to process and unload that baggage...probably still have some of the residue left over from it.

And the conversation went on(this week end) I asked the question - "really? With me having a cancer diagnosis and all the procedures and chemo - and losing my hair and still in the middle of a hard part of it all - the part of having to go out in public with hair that is barely, maybe 1/2 inches "long" and you think that the divorce was the worse thing that has happened to me?"

As I thought of this conversation later in the day I realized the big difference of these two experiences. The first one- I was young and I did not have very many tools in which to use to help myself get through it. I did not have anyone that I could really share my feelings with. And probably did not even know how to share my feeling.

I have been blessed over the last 5 years or so - with learning more of the life skills in which to deal with the blows that come along with life. I have friends and family in which to share my thoughts and feelings with. And I have a much closer relationship with Jesus Christ - who gives me strength and courage to get through the bumps and blows of life. And although life can sometimes be so very difficult - I know that He is always there - that He will never forsake me. That no matter what happens -He is always there.