Yes...There is Such a Thing

Just wanting to share a bit of my heart today. Before I went through chemo - I had never heard of chemo brain. And if I had - I might not have believed there was such a thing. But since going through chemo - and it being almost 1 1/2 months out from chemo- and still experiencing thing that frustrate me, I am beginning to believe that there is more damage done to the brain than what people think. Well at least those not affected by chemo personally.

In fact, I would say that not only does it affect the brain - it affects your stamina. And example of such is this past week end. I had plans to go with my Sister to the midnight madness sale that Goodwill had going on Saturday night. I had also been asked to help with the dinner for a family after a funeral at our church. So I went and helped - and after that 3 1/2 hours - I only had an hour between when I left the church to when I would need to be at my sisters house. Well I was TOO tired to go shopping. In years past - I think I would have been able to do both. But now I just don't have the ability as I once did. As I have been walking - I have noticed that I do have more energy and stamina than I did say a year ago or even 6 months ago- but not like before.

And chemo brain - goodness- it's hard to explain how it affects you. Sometimes I find it hard to express my thoughts, or even to give an intelligent answer for basic questions. I find myself talking and thinking just be quiet. I also have a problem with having a conversation with someone and I can remember most of the conversations - but there will be a blank area in the middle or at some important part where I know what we were talking about but I can not remember what they said or how they answered a question that I asked. And then there is the keeping up with the checkbook. It used to be not much of a problem at all. But now - ever so often I just get to were I can not figure out what went wrong or how to balance the checkbook. And it is so frustrating...Really it is.

I am having to realize that I have limits. Limits of what I can do in a given day. I need to slow down and allow myself time to work on what ever project needs doing that day. Especially the projects like paying the bills(make sure I write all the figures in) and balancing the checkbook. And then I need to be patient with myself when I make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It is just hard when you have tried so hard to do a good job at what ever you do...and then to come face to face with mistakes being done. It's ok not to be perfect. It's a thing I need to get more used to I guess.
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Update on Charlene:

I went by to see her yesterday. She is doing so much better than her last surgery- there is such a huge difference- it goes to show how close we got to losing her - just to see how much better she is doing this time. She is in a lot of pain. I don't blame her one bit- I would hate to have an incision down the front of me and I would be in a lot of pain as well. She is slowly making improvements. Yesterday they helped her to the chair and then helped her back to bed. She was moving around in her bed a bit more also. And she is eating - first clear liquids and now liquids with substance. They sent her jello---lol- she does NOT like jello - she could be starving to death and she would not eat it...nope.
Anyway but slowly she is building back up. I don't see her getting out of hospital before Monday. I would be surprised if they let her out sooner. If they do - they would be sending her to rehab. At this point I really don't know. I am happy that this surgery is behind her and that she is improving every day. Please continue to pray for her and for me as well. Thanks :O)