His "Many Blessings"

Earlier this week, I mentioned reading a little booklet that talked about Romans 8:28 and how God works out ALL things for good to those who love God. Well I am continuing to read this booklet- When Days Are Dark by G. R. Nash

Today I read something that I thought was very important for us all to remember - especially while we are going through the trials of live. I hope it blesses you as it blessed me.

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"It is the usual thing for us to express our gratitude to God for His "many blessings"_ such as health, home, and prosperity. But do we also thank Him for tribulation, which contributes more to our lives than the comfortable things> To particularize, how do we feel about:

a. The sorrow that makes us sympathetic?
b. The pain that leaves its deposit of patience in our lives?
c. The trying problem that drives us to think?
d. The criticism that compels us to check up on ourselves?
e. The disappointments that keep us humble?
f. The fears that engender righteousness?
g. The difficulties that keep us dependent upon God?

All of these and a thousand other things are worth more to  us than many easy victories that produce no growth."

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One more thing to think about:

 

"If we could only see the many dangers from which we are daily preserved by the holy angels, instead of complaining of our trials and misfortunes, we would talk continually of the mercies of God." _ Sons and Daughters of God pg. 116

 



Created by the Creator of the Universe

 

Before you all think that my hair sure grew back fast, I have to say that this photo was taken in April of 2013, - before we found out I had cancer..

This cancer has changed my outlook quite a bit. The truth is, I have along ways to go. But there has been improvement. And for that, I am grateful!

When these photos were taken - I remember going through them and deleting a few because I felt I looked too fat in the photos. They were not flattering enough- so I deleted them. Fast forward to the other day. I was looking through my photos I had shared on Facebook - and decided to make this -

photo my profile photo. As I looked at this photo - I saw peace and contentment. And Hair!! I was able to look at myself a little bit more gently than I used to look at myself. And it felt good. It felt good to not be comparing myself to all of the "perfect" people in the world. God made each of us unique and the sooner we realize that - the better. Too bad - I had to get cancer in order to really appreciate that God created me and loved me and that since I was of value to Him - I am of value!
I don't have to fall into any of the high standards set by the world. I can be content and happy knowing that I am loved and of value because I was created by the Creator of the universe.

I hope you realize how valuable you are! God created you too and you are special. His love never fails- and it never gives up on us! That reminds me of the song - "One Thing Remains"

Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me

 

If you have heard the song- you are no doubt singing it by now... Those words are so true. I love the reminder!

  For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.   

Romans 8:38-39

God is Still In Control

Yes- this post was originally titled "A little disappointed" but Praise God the title changed:

Is feeling agitated and disappointed. The cancer "adventure" has been expensive on us. I have hated to put so much more strain on our household already.

Remember when I had genetic testing done? Well I was told that if my part of the bill was over $100. I would get a phone call from the lab and they would let me know how much it would cost and then I would be able to decide if I wanted to have the test done or not. Well I never got a phone call which made me think that my bill would be under $100. At least you would think- wouldn't you? Well I just found out that our part will be over $500. We already have a lot of other medical bills that we are working on paying and it is frustrating to me to now have this big bill on us - that was not a necessity at all. Had I known it would cost this much I would have said NO. No hesitation at all. Now I regret even having this test done. And I regret giving the lab permission to use my blood in their studies. And not only did I find out our bill was ALOT more than I thought it would be. They submitted the bill March 5th- more than a month before I got results back...

I am trying to reconcile something in my thinking right now. This morning I read part of a great small book - that was talking about Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.   

 

So now I am wondering how- having even more of a financial strain on my family is a good thing. I have been trying to have faith that God is working on making this whole cancer "adventure" a good thing.

Anyway just feeling discouraged right now. Just feel that the bills are piling up a little too much. Already had a couple of tags for our vehicles due. And the Dr bills on top of that. And just feeling a little overwhelmed. I am trying to trust that God has everything under control - cause I sure don't.

I'll be praying for a miracle - for God to supply the money needed to pay these bills.
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Edited to add :
I talked to the lady at the genetic testing place and it looks like our part will be the $100. instead of the $500. I am Praising God. That $100 is still a lot on top of our other medical bills coming in and the other stuff- but God is still in control and He continually takes care of us. So I am trusting that He will provide the money needed to pay these bills.

The booklet that I was reading today - All things work together- not some things - but ALL things. I am going to continue to trust God to work all of this out. He can and will work it out how He wants it to work out. :o)

 

Redeemed, Rebel, Fool, Or Storm Tossed

No matter who you are:

 redeemed, rebel, fool, or storm tossed -

 when we call out to God-

He will hear us and deliver us!

 Psalm 107

 (a summary of the great sermon we heard this weekend!) :0)

We can only see the wrong side- one day we will see the other side- the right side

 

During Corrie’s presentations to audiences, she would often hold the back side of a piece of embroidery (pictured), with hundreds of tangled threads hanging from it. Many wondered if she was holding up the wrong side by mistake. As she held up the messy side of the embroidery she would ask...

“Does God always grant us what we ask for in prayer? Not always. Sometimes He says, ‘No.’ That is because God knows what we do not know. God knows all. Look at this piece of embroidery. The wrong side is chaos. But look at the beautiful picture on the other side – the right side.”

Triumphantly she flipped the cloth over and revealed an elaborately embroidered crown – symbolizing our crown of eternal life. The crown was intricately stitched, and had threads of many colors, including gold, silver and pearls.

“We see now the wrong side, God sees His side all the time. One day we shall see the embroidery from His side, and thank Him for every answered and unanswered prayer.”

Click this link to view the Corrie ten Boom Museum virtual tour, http://tenboom.com/ Please share.
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This was something that I saw on Facebook today. I thought it had a very good message. Also the link to Corrie ten Boom's Museum - has a great educational virtual tour - that has a message for each number. I hope you all enjoy :o)

 

A Watched Pot

They say a watched pot never boils. Well I am learning another lesson- a watched head does not seem to grow hair. A lot of people have said my hair would grow in fast. Well apparently my definition of fast and their definition - are entirely two different things.... lol :O)

 I know it has only been two weeks from when the end of my last chemo cycle ended but I had really hoped by now I would be seeing some significant hair growth, at least something more than the peach fuzz that take quite a bit of effort to see.

Trust me when I tell you that it is hard to look at you own head to see if there is any hair growth. I have even used a camera- I used my phone first and that did not get clear enough photos so I thought maybe the real camera would - you know the flash might help me see the hair better. Well it did not do hardly any better. I saw a friend this week who looked at my head to see about my hair growth and I think she was surprised that she could hardly see anything at all. She did not say much- but you could tell by the look on her face.

I had really hoped to have had a decent amount of hair by my birthday in November - but I am beginning to think that I will be lucky to be able to have enough hair to feel comfortable without a hat by the 1 year anniversary of losing my hair- Jan 19th.

I am trying to stay positive about it all. And try not to focus on that part. I am just anxious to see what my hair ends up looking like - what color and if it will be curly like a lot of people have said their hair comes back - after chemo. I just think it will be really cool to see. I saved some of my hair when we cut it off - to compare with the new hair that comes in. I think it will be neat to see.

With hair - it is hard to just put a lid on it and not pay any attention to it for a while... lol

Prayers for Bert

Remember my birds- Bert and Ernie?

 

Well Bert- the white one - has something wrong with him.

He has lost a lot of feathers on his back - and it seems that he has lost more recently and it is affecting his ability to fly. He can still fly sometimes - but often he falls when he tries to fly.
I don't know what to do for him. I have no idea. And we do not have the money to take him to some special vet that might be able to help him.

 

I have read up on what could be causing the problems and lighting could be the cause. So thankfully we had a light that I think might do the trick. So now we wait and see if this light will help.

 

If it is not the lighting - I am not quite sure what to do. So please pray that God will give me the wisdom to know what to do to help him. Thanks so much! :o)

Bible Usage Warning

Sorry - I had to delete the last post- cause it was not all showing up on my blog page- apparently it was too big and when I tried to make it smaller- it would not change size at all. Anyway I will just have to type it out.
Here it is~

Warning:

Bible usage can be habit forming. Regular reading of the Bible can cause loss of anxiety and fear and a decreased appetite for impatience and anger.

Symptoms include: increased love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control.

If symptoms persist just Praise the Lord!!

The Hand of Protection

This past week-end - we again saw hand of protection on us. The truth is that we would probably be amazed if we realized how many things we are protected from. This past week end we just got lucky and was able to see it for ourselves- well at least hear of it for ourselves.

This past week-end we decided to go to my Mother in laws house and put up a ceiling fan that she has been needing replaced for a while. So we went over there and my husband and son got the old ceiling fan down and the new one put up. She was so happy to have the new one up. The old one was not working. And in fact, us deciding to change the fan out ended up being more of a blessing to her than she realized. When my husband took down the old ceiling fan the motor was hot. The fan had not been working - but apparently it was on and the motor was working. I am so thankful that it did not start a fire or anything. Plus now I am guessing my MIL will see at least a little change in her electric bill.

So we got the fans changed out and visited with her for a while. She has not seen our little Sweetpea in quite some time - so it was good for her to get to spend some time with her.

After a while it was time for us to go home- so I could make supper. About 30 minutes - 45 minutes after we got back to our house, we got an e-mail from my MIL. Come to find out - not long after we left - a huge limb from a tree by her driveway lost a huge limb and it landed right where our car had been, right where we walked out to- in order to get into the car. Praise the Lord! I am so thankful for His protection. I am thankful no one was out there when it fell and that no one got hurt. It was truly a blessing.

Anyway I just had to share this little story with you all. There are many times that we are protected and we just don't realize it. Sometimes we are not protected from the bad things in life - and even then God has His hand on our lives - taking care of the details and protecting us. He gives us the strength and courage needed. So whether he protects us from or through our trials - His love for us never fails. :o)

His Hand at Work

Well yesterday I finally got the phone call that I have been waiting for - for almost 3 months. The call from the Genetic Testing place. I was tested for 23 things- and the good news is that I tested negative for all of them!! Praise the Lord!!!!

To be honest, I meant mixed emotions about that phone call. At first I was so very happy to finally get the news and to have the news positive news was wonderful. A real answer to prayer. But as I thought about it I began to wonder - why? again. If my cancer could not be blamed on a mutated gene - then why? Well I don't know for sure why - but I know that God used it as a testing time for me. For me to learn to be "be still and know that I (He is) am God." For me to learn to lean on Him and to trust Him, to have faith that He is in control- even in the hard times.

"The path where God leads the way may lie through the desert or the sea, but it is a safe path."

PP 290.3

 

 

"God has always tried His people in the furnace of affliction. It is in the heat of the furnace that the dross is separated from the true gold of the Christian character. Jesus watches the test; He knows what is needed to purify the precious metal, that it may reflect the radiance of His love. It is by close, testing trials that God disciplines His servants. He sees that some have powers which may be used in the advancement of His work, and He puts these persons upon trial; in His providence He brings them into positions that test their character and reveal defects and weaknesses that have been hidden from their own knowledge. He gives them opportunity to correct these defects and to fit themselves for His service. He shows them their own weakness, and teaches them to lean upon Him; for He is their only help and safeguard. Thus His object is attained.  They are educated, trained, and disciplined, prepared to fulfill the grand purpose for which their powers were given them.

 When God calls them to action, they are ready, and heavenly angels can unite with them in the work to be accomplished on the earth."

PP 129-130

 

"Each fiery trial is God's agent for their refining. Each is fitting them for their work as colaborers with Him. Each conflict has its place in the great battle for righteousness, and each will add to the joy of their final triumph. Having this in view, the test of their faith and patience will be cheerfully accepted rather than dreaded and avoided. Anxious to fulfill their obligation to the world, fixing their desire upon the approval of God, His servants are to fulfill every duty, irrespective of the fear or the favor of men."

DA 306 

 

 

It worked out perfectly. Yesterday I struggled with a few things - and then this morning during quiet time - God led me back to these quotes to remind me that He is working everything out for the best. So that I can be the person that He created me to be.

 

And unfortunately that means going through some hard times and not always understanding why - but when we look at the big picture - we can see His hand at work through it all!

 

Catching Up and Encouragement

Sorry I have not posted much. I have been busy this week - with my normal stuff- plus some extras like mowing the yard and taking my Mother in law to see a Dr.

 

I am doing pretty good. I would sure like my energy level to be up higher but I really can't complain- because it is just going to take some time.

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Wanted to share a little bit of something that happened today.

My husband and I were at On the Border eating lunch- and a mother with her two children walked past. The little boy - who was probably only about 4-5 years old - looked at me and then started laughing at me. And made some comment about my hat. I could hear the mother tell the little boy that girls wear hats too. But that is about all of the conversation I could hear. Although I realize he is a small child and does not understand - it really did hurt my feelings. Thinking ok - if this child thinks I look funny (and you would not think that children go around looking for reasons to make fun of people) then I must really look funny. And to top it off- I had one of my favorite hats on - one of the hats that I get the most compliments on. Anyway I know I look kind of dorky in what ever hats I wear- cause just the way I am made- I have broad shoulders and I am plus sized - so my head - being bald makes me look even larger. Trust me - some women are beautiful bald - I am not one of them. Anyway I thanked God that this had not happened at the beginning of this "adventure" because that would have made this whole thing harder for me to handle. It still makes it hard for me. It makes me question- just one more time- why? But I am trying to continue to trust God. That He knows what He is doing - and when it is all said and done - I am hoping this can be said of me.  

 

But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.

Job 23:10

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Just wanted to share my "Streams in the Desert" devotional for today. I think it is good to be reminded that there are reasons for delays to our prayers. And this explains one of them.

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Fear not, Daniel: for from the first day that thou didst set thine heart to understand, and to chasten thyself before thy God, thy words were heard, and I am come for thy words. But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me one and twenty days. 

Dan. 10:12, 13

 

We have wonderful teaching here on prayer, and we are shown the direct hindrance from Satan.

 

Daniel had fasted and prayed twenty-one days, and had a very hard time in prayer. As far as we read the narrative, it was not because Daniel was not a good man, nor because his prayer was not right; but it was because of a special attack of Satan.

 

The Lord started a messenger to tell Daniel that his prayer was answered the moment Daniel began to pray; but an evil angel met the good angel and wrestled with him, hindering him. There was a conflict in the heavens; and Daniel seemed to go through an agony on earth the same as that which was going on in the heavens.

 

"We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers… against wicked spirits in high places" (Eph. 6:12, margin).

 

Satan delayed the answer three full weeks. Daniel nearly succumbed, and Satan would have been glad to kill him; but God will not suffer anything to come above that we "are able to bear."

 

Many a Christian's prayer is hindered by Satan; but you need not fear when your prayers and faith pile up; for after a while they will be like a flood, and will not only sweep the answer through, but will also bring some new accompanying blessing.
--Sermon

 

Guidance and Direction

Wow - I think I have had a breakthrough. Last night I was studying the Bible and I came across a beautiful verse. I do not remember what led me to this verse, all I know is I was meant to find it.

    The Lord will guide you continually, And satisfy your soul in drought,
And strengthen your bones; You shall be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.   

Isaiah 58:11

 

Lately I have felt like I was in a drought. There are several different reason's for me to be feeling like that - but that would take too much time to even go there, so we will move right along and bypass that explanation.

 

Since this past week end when I began to really realize that I was in a drought, I have changed a few things up in my quiet time. First off, I have been taking more time to study the Bible. Another thing that I have done is began to do studies on words and actually look up all the verses that use that word to get a better understanding of that word in the Bible. And as I have said in the past  the more time you spend in the Bible the better. And sure enough my soul began to get watered but I did not quiet get it yet.

 

This morning, after my husband left for work, while I was resting, I began praying. And I remembered what my Dad used to always pray and that was for God to guide and direct him/us. And I realized that I knew that God has been guiding me and directing my path, but I had been taking advantage of that fact.

 

It is important to ask God to guide and direct you because it shows that you realize your need for his guidance and direction. It also shows that you are willing to submit your life and your will to Him. Once I did that, I realized that I had gotten away from allowing Him to guide me. I have been allowing him to sort of lead me, but I needed to totally surrender my life to Him and allow Him to guide me. There is a big change when you admit your helplessness and your need of all the gifts that He gives.

    Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,
and comes down from the Father of lights,
with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.   

James 1:17

 

So this morning, I asked Him to guide and direct my path. I also asked him for more faith and wisdom.

 

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God,

who gives to all liberally and without reproach,

and it will be given to him.   

 James 1:5

 

God is faithful. When we realize that every good and perfect gift comes from Him, our soul is fed. No longer are we in a drought, because we know the source from which all things we need comes.

 

    "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, And whose hope is the Lord.

             8 For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,

Which spreads out its roots by the river,

 And will not fear when heat comes;

 But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought,

 Nor will cease from yielding fruit.   

Jeremiah 17:7-8

 

When we realize our need and we begin to pray for these needs and for guidance and direction we will be like "a tree planted by the waters."

 

And did you notice what happens then?

 

1. We will not fear when heat comes.

2. We will not be anxious in the year of drought.

3. Nor will we cease from yielding fruit.

 

Those sound like some awesome blessings indeed!

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;

             6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

    Proverbs 3:5-6
 

In response to my prayer, not only was I given what I had asked for, but I was blessed with some extras! I feel more joy, hope and peace than I have this whole last week or so.

 

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.   

Ephesians 3:20-21

 

I am so thankful that I serve such a generous God. He gave me what I asked for plus so much more. And believe me - sincerely asking for God's guidance and direction will be a habit I intend to get into and continue with the rest of my life.

 

A New Normal

Several thoughts to share today. First of all - now I realize that make up used to be a luxury for me - but now it is really a necessity. You wouldn't believe- well maybe you would- how much different your face looks with just half the eye lashes and half the eye brows and then especially without hair. It makes a big difference. And I am at the point in all of this that if I don't have make up on - I look sickly.

Today, even though I am not going any where- I put on make up. Just because it is easier to look at myself with make up on. Oh and have I mentioned that it takes me about twice as long to put the make up on now. Because I have to use more eye liner, eye shadow, and eye brow pencil. It takes a lot more just to look decent. And still I struggle with putting it on so it will look nice. My eye brows are very challenging - about every day. I want them to look alike - an that is hard to achieve - for me anyway.

Another thing I have noticed is that my brain is still a little off. I have been studying the Bible and really doing studies and such on different topics and all. And I continue to find so much encouragement in the Bible - but when I think about how to put my thoughts together to encourage you all- I draw a blank in my mind. And so I have just been studying and praying that God will guide and direct me. And try to do what I can to continue to recoup.

I have wanted to badly to be back to normal- but I have realized that I am still in recovery. What my body has been through the last 8 months - has been an awful lot. I have probably been poked and prodded more in the last 8 months than I have been through in the last 18 years. And that's the truth. And I can not expect it to just spring back to normal - just because chemo is over. So I am giving myself permission to rest and to realize that in due time I will be back to normal- even if it is a new normal. And that is ok. God is in charge!

Old Testament - Names of God

Saw this floating around Facebook and thought it was very interesting. I have heard pastors talk about what different names meant - but they have talked pretty fast and since I am a visual learner I had a hard time remembering. So this chart will make it easier to remember what the different names mean. Anyway - I hope you all have a great day! God bless :O)

Nothing is too Small

I know that I have shared this quote before- but today while I was doing some studying I came across the sentence that is in bold print and I just had to share it. This is one of my favorite quotes but that sentence had just kind of been there - but when I saw it by itself it spoke volumes to me- and I hope it does to you as well.

"Keep your wants, your joys, your sorrows, your cares, and your fears before God. You cannot burden Him; you cannot weary Him. He who numbers the hairs of your head is not indifferent to the wants of His children. "The Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy." James 5:11. His heart of love is touched by our sorrows and even by our utterances of them. Take to Him everything that perplexes the mind. Nothing is too great for Him to bear, for He holds up worlds, He rules over all the affairs of the universe. Nothing that in any way concerns our peace is too small for Him to notice. There is no chapter in our experience too dark for Him to read; there is no perplexity too difficult for Him to unravel. No calamity can befall the least of His children, no anxiety harass the soul, no joy cheer, no sincere prayer escape the lips, of which our heavenly Father is unobservant, or in which He takes no immediate interest. "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." Psalm 147:3. The relations between God and each soul are as distinct and full as though there were not another soul upon the earth to share His watchcare, not another soul for whom He gave His beloved Son." SC pg. 100

The Results are In....

I just have a minute but wanted to let you all know that I went to my Dr. apt. today and found out that my ct scan is clear!! Yay!! I am thrilled.

I did find out that I have two small nodules in my lungs (apparently they were there when I had the pet scan - but I don't remember anyone telling me about them then.) They have not really changed since the pet scan - but we are going to watch them.

Also found out that I have a little bit of problems with my spine. And a few other odds and ends about my insides. It kind of makes you feel old when you read all the stuff together on a report.

I did have blood work done today - but did not get the results of them yet. I am hoping to get an email soon- that will give me access to the results. I will not have to go back to the Dr till August. So thankful for a few months off. It will be nice.

I hope you all have a great week end! God bless you all.

This and That

Last week - we found the coolest stuff at Cracker Barrel. We spent like 14.99 on this stuff but it is so cool - we all have enjoyed it.

 

It is called Sand's Alive.

It is this cool sand like stuff but it really does not feel gritty and it sticks together. And then pulls apart really cool like. I think playing with this sand is great therapy!

It comes with these four castle molds.
 

As I said before - we all have enjoyed playing with this stuff. My granddaughter especially liked pinching the tops off of my castles.

But you can't really be upset with a face like this, can you?

If you find yourself at Cracker Barrel any time soon - look around and see if you can find it. My store had a display with it out where you could play with it. That was very clever indeed.

This was a favorite photo taken of her recently.

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You know I have shared before that I was able to find out that the Paul Mitchell hair stuff that I buy actually ended up being a good deal. I had thought that the $10.00 or so price tag for the stuff was expensive, but the product worked really well and I had not found anything else that worked as well. Anyway when I bought a bottle of the stuff- I wrote the date on the bottom of the bottle- and come to find out that stuff lasted me about 4 months or so. When I found that out, I felt much better about the money I spent on it.

 

Well I decided to do the same thing with my perfume. The bottles of my perfume are running around $30.00 now. I have tried cheaper perfumes - only to find that the smell did not stay with me very long, making it a not so good deal - even if it were cheaper.

 

So this week - I ran out of the last bottle of perfume - look at how long it lasted me:

Almost 1 1/2 years.

I think it lasted a little longer than usual this time because I did not wear it during chemo or the first week of chemo very often. So that extended the time some.

 

I got my new bottle out and wrote the date on the bottom of it - and look forward to seeing how long it will last me. 

I made it through

Just checking in to let you guys know how today went. I am home now. Things went pretty smoothly. When I got to the place that was going to run the test - I was given the choice of flavors for the barium stuff- at first I went with very berry - 2 bottles of it. But 3/4 of the way through bottle number 1 I realized that I would not be able to make it through another 15 ounces - so I had my  husband trade out for a banana flavored bottle. It actually seemed easier to take. So if I have to do it again - I am thinking I will go with a banana bottle and a vanilla bottle.

I then had to have an iv - and they put a little saline through to make sure that it was going to work. I had a few scans done and then they put the iodine into the iv. I felt the warm sensation - that I had been warned about. Then they did a few more scans. You are told to take a deep breath and hold your breath- sometimes for about 5 seconds and sometimes 10 seconds. And after a few of those- it was over. Then the iv was removed and I was ready to go. So very thankful that it went smoothly.

And the best news- is that I did not have to try out the beach towel/ Walmart combo - that we had set up just in case I ended up with diarrhea and did not make it home. We did go straight home - just in case diarrhea did hit - but as of now - a couple of hours later- I have not had any problems with that. I have had a headache though. And so I have been trying to drink a lot of water to move things on through.

Anyway I will find out the results on Friday. I will have labs done, see Dr and have the port flushed.
Anyway - I will let you guys know what I find out Friday afternoon.

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While I was there - I meant a lady named Tracy - she is only 41 years old. And on Good Friday - the day that I had my last Chemo - she was finding out that she had breast cancer. Please keep her and her family in your prayers. She has had a whirlwind couple of weeks- and the rest of this week is full of - Wed - a port put in with Friday being her 1st chemo. She really needs prayers. Thanks so much! :o)

The dark threads are as needful....

The devotional for today in my "Streams in the Desert" book. It was a great encouragement to me - thought I would share.

Also a BIG thank you to each of you for your prayers and thoughtful notes to me to let me know you were praying for me and thinking of me. I appreciate it.

We will be heading to my apt in just a little bit.

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The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him

Ps. 25:14

There are secrets of Providence which God's dear children may learn. His dealings with them often seem, to the outward eye, dark and terrible. Faith looks deeper and says, "This is God's secret. You look only on the outside; I can look deeper and see the hidden meaning."

Sometimes diamonds are done up in rough packages, so that their value cannot be seen. When the Tabernacle was built in the wilderness there was nothing rich in its outside appearance. The costly things were all within, and its outward covering of rough badger skin gave no hint of the valuable things which it contained.

 

God may send you, dear friends, some costly packages. Do not worry if they are done up in rough wrappings. You may be sure there are treasures of love, and kindness, and wisdom hidden within. If we take what He sends, and trust Him for the goodness in it, even in the dark, we shall learn the meaning of the secrets of Providence.
--A. B. Simpson

 

Not until each loom is silent,

And the shuttles cease to fly,

Will God unroll the pattern

And explain the reason why

The dark threads are as needful

In the Weaver's skillful hand,

As the threads of gold and silver

For the pattern which He planned.

 

He that is mastered by Christ is the master of every circumstance. Does the circumstance press hard against you? Do not push it away. It is the Potter's hand. Your mastery will come, not by arresting its progress, but by enduring its discipline, for it is not only shaping you into a vessel of beauty and honor, but it is making your resources available.

Weary and Burdened

 

This is Shrek the sheep. He became famous several years ago when he was found after hiding out in caves for six years. Of course, during this time his fleece grew without anyone there to shorn (shave) it. When he was finally found and shave...d, his fleece weighed an amazing sixty pounds. Most sheep have a fleece weighing just under ten pounds, with the exception usually reaching fifteen pounds, maximum. For six years, Shrek carried six times the regular weight of his fleece. Simply because he was away from his shepherd.

This reminds me of John 10 when Jesus compares Himself to a shepherd, and His followers are His sheep. Maybe it’s a stretch, but I think Shrek is much like a person who knows Jesus Christ but has wandered. If we avoid Christ’s constant refining of our character, we’re going to accumulate extra weight in this world—a weight we don’t have to bear.

When Shrek was found, a professional sheep shearer took care of Shrek’s fleece in twenty-eight minutes. Shrek’s sixty pound fleece was finally removed. All it took was coming home to his shepherd.

I believe Christ can lift the burdens we carry, if only we stop hiding. He can shave off our ‘fleece’—that is, our self-imposed burdens brought about by wandering from our Good Shepherd.

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
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This was something that a friend shared on Facebook - and it really encouraged me. The last few days have been really tough ones. Chemo might be behind me but - the effects from it are with me still and will continue to be with me for a while. It will take months - maybe even a year before my hair is back to normal. So while I am thrilled that the chemo part of this journey is behind me- I am still carrying a lot of burdens. And I am trying really hard to come to a place of laying the burdens down at Jesus' feet. But every day I am bombarded with the fact -that I don't have hair - and all the deciding points that I have to remember- what should I wear- what hat will I have to wear with what ever I choose to wear. I know they may not seem like tough questions to you but they are to me. And with our temperatures here getting warmer and warmer - it is getting harder and harder to wear a hat - that hats really do trap a lot of heat on my head. I have to take off the hat and wipe off the sweat from time to time when I am out in the hot temps - of in the upper 80's and the 90's. Yep - it's already getting that warm here- and will continue to rise.

 

Anyway I am struggling with some other questions and concerns and trying to wrap my mind around these things. So that is why it has been so quiet from me.

 

Please continue to pray for me. I really do appreciate it. :O)

Through It All

So I was looking through my "Drafts" cause there was a post that I had thought I had started, but apparently had not. Anyway I found this - and thought - wow- this so describes what I have been through the last several years. Even more true now than when I had first got this ready. Anyway - this is the right time to share it. We will have tears and sorrows - but through it all we will learn to depend up His word! Praise be to God. :O)

Through It All

I've had many tears and sorrow,
I've had questions for tomorrow,
There've been times I didn't know right from wrong;
But in ev'ry situation God gave me blessed consolation
That my trials come to only make me strong.

Through it all, Through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God;
Through it all, Through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word.

I've been to lots of places,
And I've seen a lot of faces,
There've been times I felt so all alone;
But in my lonely hours, Yes, those precious lonely hours,
Jesus let me know that I was His own.

Through it all, Through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God;
Through it all, Through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word.

I thank God for the mountains,
And I thank Him for the valleys,
I thank Him for the storms He bro't me through;
For if I'd never had a problem
I wouldn't know that He could solve them,
I'd never know what faith in God could do.

Through it all, Through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God;
Through it all, Through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word.

--Andrae Crouch

No Testimony without a Test

Over the last 5 months, I have found myself asking the question why? Many times. Questions like:

Why did cancer happen to me?

Why was the cancer allowed to grow to such a size that more treatment other than just surgery would be needed?

Why did my cancer cells have to be grade 3 - the most aggressive ones?

Why Me? Why Me? Why Me?

What good can come out of this?

More times than I would like to admit- to be honest. And it seems now, that the chemo part of my new "adventure" is over, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel more joy than I have felt. And I am having more clarity. More clarity as to why- why cancer happened to me.

You can't make the word testimony without the word "test."  And it is true in our Christian walk as well. It is hard to have a testimony without having trials and tests in your life. This is not my first test/trial. Not at all. And I am sure it is not going to be my last one either.

Slowly I am learning of reasons of why. And today I wanted to share one of them briefly with you all. A friend of mine was unpacking some things and ended up hurting her leg. She had hoped not to have to have surgery - but it is looking more and more like she will have to have surgery. And I was able to be of encouragement to her - reassuring her that no matter what she faced that God would be there with her ever step of the way. And not in an old pat answer - but truly from the heart - from a heart of faith and belief in what I was sharing with her. And by my sharing with her I was able to encourage her on her journey through life. And at the same time - it helped me on my journey as well.

When we share our testimony - we not only encourage those around us but it does us a lot of good as well. It reinforces our faith as well. And I am thinking that these reasons might just be a few of the reasons "why." And as long as I know that God is in control, then I can rest in His arms.